Another question about De-Pledging

[Shimmer]

Ok guyz, I know this is my first post, and its long, so please bear with me. I am a new member in a sorority on my school's campus, and I'm stuck.
I went through rush, pledged XYZ, and everything was peachy the first couple weeks. The older sisters and some of my pledge sisters were always coming by to see me, and we were always doing stuff and going out. I guess my "novelty" must've worn off though, because I gradually got less phone calls, visits, and invitations to go eat lunch or even hang out. At our new member meetings Monday nights, I started to notice that everyone had a friend except me. I started to feel like an outcast, and it occured to me that I'd have to really work to fit in here. I'm always lonely. The sisters all seemed so sweet during rush, but now that I'm in it seems like a different story. They gossip about each other all the time and it makes me wonder if anything has ever been said about me. The sisterhood is not as close as I thought it would be, and I am starting to wonder if going through rush was a good idea in the first place. I do not feel like I belong....I dont feel like an XYZ.
I know we're supposed to get initiated in less than a month so I'm facing a decision. Should I depledge? I've already paid my dues. However, if I decide to rush again, it will be SO awkward having to face the XYZ's in their parties, me not wanting to be there, them not really wanting me there.... could it be worth it if there is a better one out there? My mind wavers back and forth, sometimes I feel so miserable in here but other times I think to myself, "I can do this, make it through initiation, things might start looking up." But I also know if they don't, there's no turning back. I'll be an XYZ for life and that's that. I might never know the bliss of true sisterhood if things keep up this way. There's always hope, but its not reality. What should I do? If I could revisit myself back in the summer, now, I would've given myself advice: Wait until the 2nd semester to pledge. It's so hard to tell what the girls are really like in just one short week. Find some you like, hang out with them, get to know them, I wish somebody had told me that. I am so regretting it now because I'm afraid I'll be miserable for the rest of my time here if I do become a sister. Theres a lot of pettiness and fakeness, and I dont click with the girls and I so didnt expect that. Please help me, I'm in desperate need of advice and time is running out...