Any sorority?

Ggirl617 · #1 08-19-2009, 10:40 AM

Hey guys. I've seen a bunch of threads concerning, not getting your first choice and sticking through it anyway, keeping an open mind, things will fall into place after recruitment or after initiation, etc. I think these ideas are good, because people otherwise might drop out of recruitment and not experience Greek Life at all. I was just thinking about one thing.

I feel as if this implies that any sorority on campus (of any school) would fit a PNM. (Let's ignore bizarre stories). Do you guys think this is true? (Assuming of course, that the PNM DOES get a bid) It's not that it's a bad thing, it just sort of sounded weird to me that you might go through recruitment, and you really just need to sell yourself. Like, you will fit into any sorority that chooses you. Obviously, the sorority are the members so their choice is more important. I don't even know if there was a question in here somewhere, just something I was thinking about.

pshsx1 · #2 08-19-2009, 10:48 AM

Let's say you apply to two jobs; a cake decorator and a grave digger. The decorator turns you down but the grave digger says 'we'd love to have you!' even though grave digging isn't at all for you and you feel much more comfortable with cake decorators. Could you take the other job? Sure. Would you be happy, probably not.

Not a great analogy.. but there you go.

AnchorAlumna · #3 08-19-2009, 10:51 AM

I think you're right, to an extent. A sorority becomes its members, and its members change every year. So if a sorority does not quite fit right away, it could very well fit better after a few weeks.

OTOH, individuals are more adaptable than they think.

And it could be both the individual AND the group adjusting to each other.

Gusteau · #4 08-19-2009, 10:59 AM

I think this idea is thrown around a lot because at the ultra-competitive schools it is likely to be your only chance to be in a sorority, so it's best to stick it out to see if you can make it in where you get a bid.

At a non-competitive school, however, this probably wouldn't apply because you have more chances to join a group you think you fit better with. At my school strong groups will habitually COB and hold informal recruitment in the spring because it's campus culture, but they could easily get along without it.

pshsx1 · #5 08-19-2009, 11:09 AM

Yeah, I was going to come back and edit my post b/c I know it's pretty one minded right now and I expected a bitch fit coming my way about it.

But I guess the other side's been covered.

So now for a pants analogy!

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile

I was LOL when I read your phrase "your pants analogy", but here it is.

This was is response to the thread on why a woman would even consider a house that wasn't her first choice:

One way to look at it is this: haven't you ever seen a couple pairs of pants (shoes, etc), and thought, WOW! I really like this pair, but this other pair is pretty cool, too. Then you look at the fit, and the first pair just doesn't fit the way you imagined. So, you try on the other pair, and it fits.

Good luck to all the PNMs! Just remember the pants, and realize that you need to go with the way something fits, not the way something looks at first glance. We all have styles that we love on other people, but look nasty on each of us. May you find the house that fits!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by reverie

This is somewhat random, but this analogy reminds me of the book The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Basically, this group of four friends can all wear (and look awesome) in the same pair of jeans even though they're shaped differently and have very different personalities. Thinking about it more, that's exactly what it a sorority is supposed to be about...a bunch of different people coming together through one common thread.

/me being geeky.

But still, a person should know if an organization just doesn't fit them at all and they shouldn't settle for it.

crescent&pearls · #6 08-19-2009, 11:51 AM

I don't think any sorority chapter "could be" a fit for any PNM. But the time to make the final decision that it's not for you is not during recruitment, it's in the new member period prior to initiation. This is the time when you will truly have the chance to get to know the members and the organization and decide if making a lifetime commitment is right for you...and for them. That's why we don't have initiation on Bid Day.

Truth is, even if you get a bid to your favorite, there will be members you will not like, and those who will not like you. You won't be BFFs forever with every sister. You will share a common bond that is meaningful and important, and as life changing as you wanna make it. The quality of your experience will have as much to do with you as it does the organization, and the only part you have control over is your own attitude and effort.

33girl · #7 08-19-2009, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gusteau

I think this idea is thrown around a lot because at the ultra-competitive schools it is likely to be your only chance to be in a sorority, so it's best to stick it out to see if you can make it in where you get a bid.

At a non-competitive school, however, this probably wouldn't apply because you have more chances to join a group you think you fit better with. At my school strong groups will habitually COB and hold informal recruitment in the spring because it's campus culture, but they could easily get along without it.

This totally hits the nail on the head.

At the supercompetitive schools, the chapters are large enough that IMO, if you can't find at least ONE person you have something in common with, you're not really trying. And it is true, that freshman year rush is often your best chance and things are downhill after that.

But at noncompetitive schools with smaller chapters, there are definitely sororities that would be super for rushee A but a horrible fit for rushee B, and vice versa.

baci · #8 08-19-2009, 12:50 PM

I really think it depends on the person and their personality.

I am able to truly get along with all types of people. I remember at pref time I had my groups and one I loved and one there was not as much love, but I knew they were super. I had a hard time deciding because I could get along with people in both groups, but overall (outside and in) one was a better fit. I feel I was looking at their hearts only and by going with just that I could easily have been a part of both groups. Some people can't do that as they see themselves fitting with a certain grouop for a very specific reason. I could give examples to explain better, but I am sure you can understand what I am saying.

I do not think everyone can fit in all types of groups. I don't. I also do not think anyone can know 100% that a group is for them based on a quick recruitment week. It takes time and that is why we encourage people sticking it out even if they are a bit disappointed. Relationships need time to develop!

Zillini · #9 08-19-2009, 01:08 PM

I think a lot will depend on the Chapters' sizes. If we're talking Chapter Totals of say 20-30, then it could be hard to find a strong bond with the sisters/brothers if you never felt it from the begining. But if the size is more like 200 then the odds are given time you'll find folks to bond with, even if it isn't every single one.

AOII Angel · #10 08-19-2009, 01:25 PM

I agree with what others have said. I think that each NPC has wonderful traditions to offer that any woman could embrace. Every chapter changes so much with each recruitment cycle that you really may find that a chapter you felt so sure about during rush isn't really the chapter you fit with the next year or vice versa. My chapter became more and more a chapter I could identify with each year as we took new members. Maybe this was because I made an effort to spend time with each new member in ways that older members had not made an effort to spend time with me as a new member.

jennyj87 · #11 08-19-2009, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

I think you're right, to an extent. A sorority becomes its members, and its members change every year.
And it could be both the individual AND the group adjusting to each other.

oh how true this is.

Kansas City · #12 08-19-2009, 01:40 PM

I'm of the opinion that (especially an 18-20 year old) opinions can change daily. As such, I think that it is important to stick it out through the cuts in recruitment, accept a bid if offered, and decide in the few weeks prior to initiation if (NPC) sororotiy membership is right for the individual. Also, I don't see a huge difference between the groups on a national level, it just depends on the right fit with the individual collegiate chapters and that too (the chapter's personality) can change over time depending on it's membership. Further, as PNMs become members, graduate and become alumns, they learn to get along with more and more people and become the leaders that make change in their organizations. Suddenly, the differences in the letters you wear on your chest (your top vs. other choice sorority as a 20 year old) become less important than the role you have as an adult and leader in your community.

pearlbubbles · #13 08-19-2009, 11:37 PM

My opinion on this is that at eighteen, you probably don't really know what is best for you, so to speak. You may really want something, but it's not actually something for you. I feel like PNMs just need to trust the process, since the chapter members probably know what would be a better fit for the PNM. It's not so much that they would be a good fit anywhere, but rather that the ones the PNM may have thought were good fits really weren't.