What would you do if your man of 4 years posted a personal ad?

cmonique · #1 09-24-2001, 11:13 AM

Hi! my name is cmonique...a few weeks ago I found out that my boyfriend of 4 years and fiance of 1 year posted a personal ad via the internet... The title of his ad was "friends before anything." It all happened when I was on his computer one night and across the screen came a response message from aol's love response service. The girl was saying how she hoped he was still interested and about how sexy she was and blah, blah, blah. When I brought it to his attention he lied and said he didn't do it... I even told him "if you were playing around and was just curious, let me know, don't lie"...still he lied...Ladies we argued and argued and argued until we couldn't argue anymore and this fool even had the b***s to accuse ME of not trusting him. After we argued for like an hour I left his house and went home and printed the ad out myself. When I called to tell him that I found the ad and printed it out for myself, his line was busy...UH-OH you know what that means, this fool was online trying to delete his message, RIGHT?....RIGHT...Finally, I emailed him, cause I knew he was online, and called him all kinds of things. Then he called me back and tried to apologize, but as far as I was concerned this dingbat could kick mud for all I cared. Now I'm having a problem trusting him in the way I did before...What's your opinion ladies???

lovelyivy84 · #2 09-24-2001, 02:26 PM

This is a tough one.

On the one hand, I think my first instinct is to say that you do not need to be with this man. If he had told you the truth about it right away and explained it would be no thing, but...Internet cheating is still cheating and a violation of your trust. THis is a serious breach of trust.

BUT

This is a four year relationship, right? Have there been a lot of problems previously? His past behavior is the only way you can evaluate this situation. If he has never given you a reason to be suspicious, you might want to give this less weight, but if this is part of a pattern of disrespectful behavior you might want to let this man go about his own business.

In any case, I would say that y'all need to take a short "break" and evaluate the status of your relationship. Is he really ready to get married? Or to even be engaged? It doesn't sound like it, but you guys can figure that out together.

Good luck.

Special1920 · #3 09-24-2001, 07:06 PM

At least you not married yet. You have time to figure out if this is still what you want, but if he continues to lie, you are doomed. He should explain his need to place an ad.

korkscru · #4 09-24-2001, 09:42 PM

No, no, LovelyIvy, this scenario is not hard at all. My man for four years posted a personals ad on the internet...? It would be on, Girlfriend. Back in the day (before I was mature

) he and I would be doing some SERIOUS arguing while at the same time, I would be doing some SERIOUS assessing. If my man felt the need to post a personals ad on the internet (or any where else for THAT matter), I would really have to think about if he REALLY is MY man. Enough said.

tickledpink · #5 09-24-2001, 11:19 PM

First I'd be like this:

Then,

But most of all, I'd have to go out and

celebrate that you found out about this before you married him.

But really, if you continue with him, will he change? Probably not...

(sorry). And even if it was just an ad, it shows intent.