Advice for a Rushee's Mom

Mizzou'84 · #1 08-12-2008, 05:50 PM

My daughter and her best friend are rushing at the University of Missouri in the fall. I was an alumnae at Mizzou but unfortunately never rushed a sorority. My daughter and her best friend want to do it this year and I am encouraging her to do it. She is white (irish descent) and her friend is black. They are both rushing PHA but my daughter's friend does not want to do it because she heard that sororities never accept black girls at mizzou. I do not know any of this because I was never in a sorority but i tried to do some research online which lead me to a thread on this website (didn't even know such a thing existed). My daughter's friend is like a second daughter to me so i have been researching to see if this is true but have come up empty. Can anyone help me with this information so I can talk her into rushing? She payed almost 200 dollars to rush and I would hate for her to lose it because she decided not to do it anymore. She has no recommendations (which she did not get because she was indecisive with rushing).
Should I stop trying or should I talk to her mother(who is one of my best friends) about it?

KSUViolet06 · #2 08-12-2008, 05:56 PM

I can't say that I know anything about whether black women get bids there or not, as I did not go there, and every school is different.

I can tell you (from what I have heard here on GC) that the process will be difficult for her without recommendations, as they are very important to have at Mizzou.

I say just let her make the decision on her own.

Mizzou's PHA will be welcoming a new sorority after recruitment (Sigma Sigma Sigma). They will be holding their own recruitment events later in the fall, so that's an option also. Generally, I recommend that girls go through formal rush just so that they can meet women in all the different chapters though.

Scarlet · #3 08-12-2008, 06:18 PM

I've been lurking for awhile, but I'll come out of the woodwork for this one! I can tell you with absolute certainty that there are NPC sororities at Mizzou with black members. If she's at all interested, she should go through with it--you never know unless you try!!

But I also agree with KSUViolet; the end decision should be her own.

Kansas City · #4 08-12-2008, 06:21 PM

Being a Mizzou Alumnae, you probably have a better feel for the diversity in Columbia than I do but I think that the rumors are just that, unsubstiantated and incorrect. After reviewing MU's PHA website, it appears that diversity is not an issue. That being said, there are numerous NPHC options available that may make your daughters friend feel out of place during PHA recruitment. If your daughters friend did not feel out of place in high school, I doubt that she will feel out of place in college. Missouri is an odd state because we are anchored by two modern, rather progressive urban areas while the rest of the state is comprised of lots of smaller, traditional towns. Columbia, being in between the two large cities and the largest university in the state should only contribute to its diversity and acceptance of others. I personally think that neither your daughter nor her friend will have any problems during PHA recruitment assuming that they have done their homework, gotten recs, etc. Good luck to you and your girls!

Naddy08 · #5 08-13-2008, 06:04 PM

I say you should still let her go through recruitment. You never know, she may get a bid into a really good house. Good luck to your daughter and her friend though!

sarahsmilehawk · #6 08-21-2008, 12:06 PM

MU is a pretty accepting campus, even if it's pretty homogeneous. If this girl has the grades, the activities and the personality that sororities are looking for, she'll do fine.

Most of the reason black women do not do Panhellenic recruitment (or participate in recruitment but do not receive bids) is socioeconomic and cultural. Nobody wants to bid girls they have nothing in common with.

I'm not saying that racism doesn't exist or that some sororities at some schools will discriminate unfairly. But I do think that, if a PNM makes a connection with the members based on who she is as a person, her race won't be a factor.

I definitely feel like this is the case at KU, at least. I hope I'm not giving Mizzou too much credit.

Scarlet · #7 08-21-2008, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsmilehawk

I definitely feel like this is the case at KU, at least. I hope I'm not giving Mizzou too much credit.

Oh, come on. Is the MU/KU stuff really necessary?

On another note, did she go through recruitment? It's going on right now!

Denise_DPhiE · #8 08-21-2008, 04:07 PM

My friends daughter went through recruitment at Mizzou. She had recs everywhere. She grew up on sorority her whole life (her mom was very involved). She was a legacy at one house. She was super active in HS, great grades etc but was not Barbie doll skinny/looking. This wonderful young did not get a bid and she did maximize her options, avoided tent talk and steroetypes. Mizzou is much more competitive than you might think.

Get recs and be open to lots of options especially, my personal favorite, being a possible charter member of the newest group, Sigma Sigma Sigma.

Best of luck to both women. Please check back in with us and let us know how it went!