Why did you decide to join a sorority?

[jelly]

They say there is a sorority for everyone so i'm thinking about rushing. The girls in my high school that are joining sororities are the so call "popular" girls which is kind of deterring to me b/c I don't know if it is something I'd fit into.

It seems as if these girls just want to join one just to continue that feeling of being "popular" and "cliqued off" from the rest of the people in college maybe b/c that's where their confidence lies.

Also, I don't know how to put this really but you can say their moral values are not very high...and I was wondering if this is in general how the girls in sororities were.

And my last sort of question/concern was what is the relationship between the fraternities and sororities? Do the drunk fraternity guys at the parties try to hit on you and stuff? (ew lol)

[KSUViolet06]

Every sorority has a variety of different girls in it. No one can really generalize how "girls in sororities are" because every sorority has different girls with varying personalities.

There are all different types of girls who go through rush also. Every girl who rushes is not going to be like the girls you describe. I honestly wouldn't let the attitudes of girls you know deter you, because you are rushing for yourself.

Your rush eperience has nothing to do with other girls who are going through rush. Everybody rushes for different reasons. For example, I did it because I wanted to become more involved on campus.

And as for your last question, guys will be guys. Whether they are in fraternities or not, if you are out and a guy is drunk, he might hit on you. This has little to do with whether or not you join a sorority.

Sororities and fraternities do have some events with fraternities, but it's not usually something that is mandatory. These events don't always involve alcohol either, since sororities do have rules about holding events where alcohol will be present.

I hope this helped.

[REE1993]

Every girl has a set of different reasons to pursue membership? Remember, you are not "joining" a sorority. You select your favorites, and they may select you, and yada yada yada...

Anyway, what are yours reasons for pursuing membership? That is the only reason that should matter to you. Communicate it clearly and effectively. Demonstrate to them what you can offer them, not what you want to get out of it.

Think about it, write some stuff down, and your answers may begin to formulate.

Good luck on your journey.

[Styrofoam]

I'm in a fraternity (not a sorority) but my reasons for joining greek life in general would be to make long lasting friends i could count on throughout life. I found that in my Fraternity - albeit, later in college than i would have hoped. I had a lot of the same stereotypes a lot of incoming freshmen have... fraternities are full of beer guzzling idiot children with no respect for women, and sororities are a bunch of girls that like to sit around and gossip and sleep with the fraternity boys. Boy was I wrong...and I am glad for it.

The best advice i can give you... is go through rush.. see what its like. If you like it, you'll end up getting bid into a house and enjoying it. If you don't like it, you'll have the experience, and know that it wasn't for you. You'll go on your way and be satisfied in other areas of your life. For me, it was the former - and I know that my fraternity has made me a better man in all aspects of my life.

[Ilaria Ame]

i agree with everything that's been said so far. my personal reasons for joining are a bit longwinded so i won't get into it, but definitely go through rush if you're interested. the stereotype you're describing is what almost every high school student (including me ) gets. every campus is different, so some are more party-oriented that others. but all sororities are based on sisterhood and philanthrophy first. rushing is a great way to check the groups on your campus out, but don't forget to investigate local and multicultural sororities! they just might end up being the right fit for you!

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by jelly

Also, I don't know how to put this really but you can say their moral values are not very high...and I was wondering if this is in general how the girls in sororities were.

These girls you know aren't even in sororities and yet you think that's the normal type of woman we take?? How do you even know they are going to get in?

You seem to have already made up your mind.........

[jwright25]

Originally Posted by SmartBlondeGPhB

These girls you know aren't even in sororities and yet you think that's the normal type of woman we take?? How do you even know they are going to get in?

You seem to have already made up your mind.........

See, I was thinking this too. I've been mulling this over since I first read it, trying to get my thoughts into the proper words. But sickness and lots of drugs will probably render this rather confusing. I will preface it by saying that I mean no disrespect to anyone. It is an opinion that I am basing on reading several comments in MANY threads - not just this one.

I feel that a lot of people are stereotyping the "pretty girl" sorority as vapid, slutty, party brats. It's one thing to go into their parties and say, "well, I just wouldn't fit in." But to come to conclusions about their entire existence and moral fiber based solely on the fact that they are pretty and that perhaps other snobby PNMs are dying to join seems just as shortsighted as these people accuse the pretty girls of being. Just because boys flock to these girls doesn't mean that they are idiots with no leadership potential. Just because one or two of them weren't very nice in high school doesn't mean that the whole chapter is full of Mean Girls.

I'm not denying the existence of bitchy sorority girls. I'm not denying the existence of sorority girls with crappy moral character. I'm just saying don't judge a book by its cover and don't judge an entire chapter on one or two members. We all have members that might not have been asked to join if we had had a more in-depth glimpse into their high school careers.

In my sorority experience, I have known such a tremendous diversity of women and personalities. Some of the most aesthetically pleasing have also been some of the most intelligent, gracious, kindhearted, and motivated women that I've had the pleasure of working with.

Again - I'm not attacking the OP directly. She's obviously considering sorority life for the first time, so her knowledge is limited only to hearing talk around her high school. But if we are constantly going around telling PNMs to keep all their options open and to consider all chapters - no matter their popularity or size, I hope that they also keep their minds open to the fact that pretty doesn't automatically equal snobby.

[UGAalum94]

Well said, JWright25.

I'd like to ask though that we be patient with the young women who haven't even set foot on a college campus yet.

It's true as SmartBlondeGPhiB that the girls from the OPs high school may not even get bids, but I see quite frequently that some young women who would be excellent members in every respect are reluctant to go through recruitment because of what the other girls they know going through are like.

Once they go to school, they have the chance to see what Greek women are really like, but until they do, they may not have much else to go on.

So when one actually asks, "why did you join?" she's probably trying to look beyond the bad stereotypes even if she doesn't express it perfectly.

[SWTXBelle]

And let us remember that, thank God, very few women in college do not grow, mature and change. You are not doomed to be your high school self forever - you can reinvent yourself.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

And let us remember that, thank God, very few women in college do not grow, mature and change. You are not doomed to be your high school self forever - you can reinvent yourself.

Absolutely. You can be a better version of yourself, and the jerks (or mean girls) you knew in high school often become better too.

[DaffyKD]

Originally Posted by jelly

They say there is a sorority for everyone so i'm thinking about rushing. The girls in my high school that are joining sororities are the so call "popular" girls which is kind of deterring to me b/c I don't know if it is something I'd fit into.

It seems as if these girls just want to join one just to continue that feeling of being "popular" and "cliqued off" from the rest of the people in college maybe b/c that's where their confidence lies.

Also, I don't know how to put this really but you can say their moral values are not very high...and I was wondering if this is in general how the girls in sororities were.

And my last sort of question/concern was what is the relationship between the fraternities and sororities? Do the drunk fraternity guys at the parties try to hit on you and stuff? (ew lol)

You sound like my story. I was the most unpopular girl in the entire high school. My self-esteem was lower than any potato still left in the ground thanks to both my mother and the "in" group. When the material for rush came (yes, in my day it was still rush, not recruitment), it all went right in the trash. I was not going to start off a new school with the "in" girls doing to me what they did in HS (and junior high, and elementary school). My relationship with my mother was pretty awful to put it mildly. One day she and I had a knocked down dragged out fight and all I wanted to do is get out of the house as soon as possible. I happen to see the rush materials still in the trash can in my bedroom and pulled them out. They said that one dorm would be open a week early for rush, you could stay in the dorm if you dropped out of rush but you were obligated to go through the first day parties. I signed up then and there just so I could get out of the house. I figured I could force myself to put up with the snotty girls for a day and then I would just enjoy the beach everyday. The first house I went to was KD and I really like them but went away telling myself that all the houses will come across that way and still had no aspiration to pledge (yup, I just dated myself again). At the end of the first day, KD was really the only house I truly loved and decided to stay in rush until KD dropped me as I knew they would. To my surprise, I kept getting asked back and to my real surprise I joined! The girls in the house killed almost every stereotype I had ever heard about sororities. Today, many years later, I am a past president of my local AA, and am now on the National Leadership Team.

I have a daughter who is a bit older than you, she did not want to go through recruitment and I never pushed it. I just made one rule when she went away to school and it is the one rule I would give to any girl who goes to college-- you have to join something and do something. You can't just sit around in your dorm room. Get involved!

Best wishes with your decision.

DaffyKD

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by DaffyKD

You sound like my story. I was the most unpopular girl in the entire high school. My self-esteem was lower than any potato still left in the ground thanks to both my mother and the "in" group. When the material for rush came (yes, in my day it was still rush, not recruitment), it all went right in the trash. I was not going to start off a new school with the "in" girls doing to me what they did in HS (and junior high, and elementary school). My relationship with my mother was pretty awful to put it mildly.

Daffy, you must be my long-lost sister. I was right there in the spud-land, too. And with the same mother! I didn't know enough to sign up for rush (yes, it was rush back then), but COB'd about 6 weeks later.

[minDyG]

You sound a lot like me as an incoming freshman. If you want you can PM me for some unbiased perspective.

[Soror Peace]

Jelly,
I commend you on asking the question and I hope all have given you both insight and information to aid in your journey.

Because I am Active Duty Military and always on the move at a moment's notice to protect our country, I could not find a sorority to fit my schedule (nor school for that matter).

So instead, I was part of an Illustrious Group who founded the first and only Military Sorority (Sigma Phi Psi). End result: Different is good and we are able to fulfull the dreams of military females who too have been too busy to serve our country to maintain school and another sorority.

This is just something else to add to your information base for others to know.

Enjoy the journey!

[adpiucf]

To the OP:

Sororities are not for everyone-- hence mutual membership selection, but they are diverse social and service organizations that vary in reputation from school to school. A chapter of one sorority at State U may be very different in its membership at its chapter of ABC College.

Have these "popular" girls in your high school already received sorority bids? I gather that as of the date of your post and seeing that there are no sororities that conduct summertime membership selection, these girls are only preparing to go through recruitment. There is no guarantee that they will all be invited to membership in any sorority. Are they all going to the same school? Are you going to this school, too?

It may be that some of these girls want to join a sorority to continue feeling popular or to boost their confidence. Others may have other reasons: new friends, social life, service opportunities, leadership experience, alumnae networking, fitting in a new place far away from home.

Regarding moral values, every sorority I know has a moral code of conduct that members must follow, and a standards and ethics committee to ensure it is being followed. If these women are of low moral values, suffice to say, their reputations may precede them at recruitment. This kind of behavior can certainly prevent a woman from being invited to membership in a sorority, and can cause her membership to be canceled if she is a member.

The relationship between fraternities and sororities is social. The groups arrange mixers and service projects to allow the members to get to know one another. There is no formal relationship between the organizations, however, and as a member you are free to socialize with anyone you choose, Greek or not Greek.

As far as drunk guys go... if you're at a party, guys may hit on you. It's what guys do... They don't necessarily have to be in a fraternity nor drunk to do so. How you handle them is certainly up to you. Alcohol and parties are not exclusive to the Greek system-- you will attend many social events in college that have nothing to do with Greeks, I'd imagine.