sorority lunch

tzipporah · #1 09-01-2008, 03:52 PM

Hi everyone. I have a weird question... I went through rush last year as a freshman and it didn't work out so I am rushing again. Before I rushed one of my coworkers (who is in a sorority) kept saying we should get lunch together, but it never worked out schedule-wise. This year I am rushing again and would love to take her up on her offer and meet some more sorority women.

Would it be weird if I mentioned I was rushing again and asked if she wanted to get lunch this time around? I can't think of an appropriate way to phrase it. I am seeing her later this week, so I could do it in person-- or I could even do it online if you think that's more appropriate.

Any help on this matter would be very appreciated, thank you!

FSUZeta · #2 09-01-2008, 04:01 PM

if you are seeing her this week anyway, could you turn the meeting into a coffee or maybe a lunch? then during the course of conversation , try to segue the conversation toward recruitment in an unobtrusive way. ask her for tips-wardrobe, conversation, hair, etc.. keep the conversation general.

Kansas City · #3 09-02-2008, 09:33 AM

Depending on recruitment rules on your campus, you may have to wait until after recruitment. The campus that I advise at has strict silence rules enacted this time of year that would not permit a friendly meeting between member and PNM. Please check rules at your campus.

Thetagirl218 · #4 09-02-2008, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kansas City

Depending on recruitment rules on your campus, you may have to wait until after recruitment. The campus that I advise at has strict silence rules enacted this time of year that would not permit a friendly meeting between member and PNM. Please check rules at your campus.

That is exactly what I was thinking! At many campuses, Panhellenic is very strict about the "silence period" in which PNMs cannot talk to actives. The time this period is in place can vary, but at my campus it was usually August 1st with recruitment being later in the month. Please take Kansas City's advice and check the rules!

breathesgelatin · #5 09-03-2008, 01:18 AM

It sounds to me kind of like you might be at a school with deferred recruitment.

At deferred recruitment schools this might sometimes be totally cool (and even be the norm, eg, you SHOULD politely accept lunch invitations from sorority members if you are planning on going through recruitment) or be totally against the rules.

It varies by campus.

tzipporah · #6 09-03-2008, 11:32 AM

You're right, I am at a school with deferred recruitment. The silence period doesn't start until mid-December. Plus last year she asked me to lunch about this time (a little later in the semester, admittedly).

I don't think it'd be against the rules, but I'm afraid of coming across too forward! AHH I don't know what to do

I really like this girl and I really do like the women in her house.

33girl · #7 09-03-2008, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tzipporah

Hi everyone. I have a weird question... I went through rush last year as a freshman and it didn't work out so I am rushing again.

Define "didn't work out."

Kansas City · #8 09-03-2008, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tzipporah

Would it be weird if I mentioned I was rushing again and asked if she wanted to get lunch this time around?

Do you have to mention in the invitation that you are rushing again this year? You should bring it up during lunch (coffee, etc.) that you are interested in rushing again this year but I'm not sure that I would come right out and say it when extending an invitation. You are already friends with this individual and will likely continue to be friends with her no matter the outcome of recruitment so I don't know that it is necessary to preface the invitation with recruitment. I also wouldn't want you to focus so much on your friend's organization to not be open to the others that are available on your campus.

breathesgelatin · #9 09-03-2008, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tzipporah

You're right, I am at a school with deferred recruitment. The silence period doesn't start until mid-December. Plus last year she asked me to lunch about this time (a little later in the semester, admittedly).

I don't think it'd be against the rules, but I'm afraid of coming across too forward! AHH I don't know what to do

I really like this girl and I really do like the women in her house.

Speaking as someone who went through deferred formal recruitment at a school where fall "informal" was really important, you should definitely go to lunch with her. DEFINITELY. Don't worry about it. Rather than seeming too forward, rejecting an invitation might seem like you're not interested in her sorority. Now, don't invite yourself to lunch with her. But if she invites you, you should accept. If silence doesn't begin until mid-December, you should be fine. The only thing is that she cannot pick up your lunch or anything - that would be a red flag that she is committing a recruitment violation.

I'm making the assumption here that your school works a lot like mine did...

tzipporah · #10 09-03-2008, 08:49 PM

33girl,

I went through rush with full schedules last year. I got all the way to the second to last round and was not matched with any sorority. It happened to a few girls-- very rare and very upsetting.

It took a lot for me to decide to rush again; as anyone would be, I was hurt and stunned for a long time. But I have decided to give it one more try, as I would really like to be a part of a sorority and the Greek system in general. In addition, many girls I met during rush have approached me (many of them I consider friends now) and encouraged me to rush a second time.

And I am open to all of the houses-- I realize with each new pledge class the personalities do change somewhat. I just do have a few ideas as to which houses I liked from last year.

33girl · #11 09-04-2008, 10:09 AM

Thanks for the info.

I hope things go better this year!

I would just ask her if she wants to grab lunch - don't bring up that you are rushing because it might seem you're just trying to pump her for info. She probably will bring it up, so when she does let her know you're interested!

tzipporah · #12 09-05-2008, 10:52 AM

Just wanted a shoot everyone a quick update--

I mentioned to her that I was rushing and she was very happy to hear that (very encouraging! yay). She immediately asked if I wanted to grab lunch with her and some other women in her house which OF COURSE I accepted!

So things are definitely looking up

RaggedyAnn · #13 09-05-2008, 11:00 AM

Yay for you! That's great.

breathesgelatin · #14 09-06-2008, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tzipporah

Just wanted a shoot everyone a quick update--

I mentioned to her that I was rushing and she was very happy to hear that (very encouraging! yay). She immediately asked if I wanted to grab lunch with her and some other women in her house which OF COURSE I accepted!

So things are definitely looking up

awesome!

Things are as I thought.

Kitemom · #15 09-09-2008, 08:22 PM

At my daughters school they have deferred rush. All soroities have XYZ lunch at the school cafaterias on certain days. Anyone can come, etc. It just a wait for people to meet each other.