Wedding Bells?

Sweet Deliverance · #1 03-22-2001, 12:38 PM

I have been dating my boyfriend a year and a half. We are not quite "spring chickens" (29/30). We can't go anywhere without being asked When are y'all getting married?. People need to realize that it takes more than love to get married. It take$ money. We aren't officially engaged yet, but that will come later. My question is:

For those who are married or are getting married, what are some ways to financially prepare for the wedding day and beyond AND suggestions for an elegant church wedding on a slim budget?

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Sweet Deliverance's PHI-losophy:
"What you do or do not do today determines what you can or cannot do tomorrow."

loviest95 · #2 03-22-2001, 02:17 PM

My hubby and I dated for long time too--high school and college-- i know how you feel.
The best advice for planning a wedding is to PLAN PLAN PLAN and get started early.

I took a year-- I booked everything at least 8 to 12 months in advance.

Most places will let you pay by the month with all of the balance due a week to 2 weeks before the wedding.

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IVY in my HAND-- AKA in my HEART

royalbluelady · #3 03-22-2001, 04:32 PM

I found it was much cheaper if you can do alot of the wedding preparations yourself. One of the biggest expenses is the reception. In stead of going to a hotel and having it catered I found a building where I could bring in my own food. I had finger foods. There was a lady from my church who catered. She prepared all my food. Decorations can be done real cheap also. Getting people to help with certin things can save you lots of money. Email me personally and I can tell you more. Good Luck!

Shelacious · #4 03-23-2001, 01:13 AM

Sweet Deliverance...while I'm not in either category, I have helped a good friend plan her wedding with funds coming from her and her fiance only. As such:

1. Hold the wedding and reception in the same room/location (if you're not having the wedding in a church, that is)
2. Cut the alchol entirely (although my friend had a full open bar, I know how much that costs).
3. Carefully consider the # of guests (if you calculate price per head, you'll see what I mean).
4. Provide party favors that either you can make, or that are truly refelctive of your life/theme of the wedding. If all you can find is the old engraved champagne glass or the robin's eggs candy in tulle, I'd just save the $--the guests don't want it anyway.

What I wouldn't skimp on:
1. Photograhpy: if you can afford, have the photographer snapping shots during the wedding, the reception and in between both. Get both B&W as well as color.
2. Food: If you go buffet, have at least two serving lines with identical food. Theme (Asian, French, Ethiopian, Jamacian) the reception food: allows you more leeway with decorations/utensils. My friend had serving areas: Asian, California, and Hof Brau.
3. Music: nothing worse than a bad band, DJ or quartet. Spend the cash to ensure that the quartet attends a couple of rehearsals with you--the worst is to have the quartet be out of step with your wedding march.

I could go on, and a bit off topic to boot, but you get the point, LOL.
-shela

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Finer Womanhood: the "Cat's Meow" Since 1920

1blubaby · #5 03-25-2001, 05:24 PM

girl, you better get the hookup from your Sorors!! The Sorors who are professional Wedding planners!! Not the ones who do it on the side you know the" in my spare time" don't go there.....I mean the ones who make a living doing it fulltime......

SoTrue1920 · #6 04-17-2001, 08:11 PM

I was in the same boat you were in. The top things I'd suggest to you are:

1) Keep that guest list DOWN and be FIRM about it. I don't care how many times your mom/dad says they need to invite their co-worker's boyfriend's niece to your wedding, keep it SMALL and SIMPLE.

2) Get married in an off-season. Depending on your geographical location, there may be a certain month or months when people get married most often. I was married in January, 2001, after the holiday crunch. We had a beautiful evening winter wedding indoors.

3) Get married on an off day. You'd be amazed at how much you can save by getting married on Friday night or Sunday afternoon. You'll save even more if you can avoid a weekend altogether.

Quote:

Originally posted by Sweet Deliverance:
I have been dating my boyfriend a year and a half. We are not quite "spring chickens" (29/30). We can't go anywhere without being asked When are y'all getting married?. People need to realize that it takes more than love to get married. It take$ money. We aren't officially engaged yet, but that will come later. My question is:

For those who are married or are getting married, what are some ways to financially prepare for the wedding day and beyond AND suggestions for an elegant church wedding on a slim budget?

Rachel0497 · #7 04-19-2001, 03:46 PM

My boyfriend just proposed to me, and I have been thinking about ideas for a small, inexpensive wedding-thanks to Soror Sweet Deliverance for posting this topic and to everyone that replied-y'all have helped me SOOO much!!!! I love my sorors!!!!!

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The Women of Zeta Phi Beta...Simply Irresistible!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet Deliverance · #8 04-20-2001, 01:21 PM

Congratulations Soror Rachel0497! You will keep me posted on your planning won't you? I thank everyone for their posts also. Feel free to post more.

Here's a potentially helpful site I ran across www.modernbride.com .

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Sweet Deliverance's PHI-losophy:
"What you do or do not do today determines what you can or cannot do tomorrow."

Eclipse · #9 04-20-2001, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SoTrue1920:
I was in the same boat you were in. The top things I'd suggest to you are:

1) Keep that guest list DOWN and be FIRM about it. I don't care how many times your mom/dad says they need to invite their co-worker's boyfriend's niece to your wedding, keep it SMALL and SIMPLE.

2) Get married in an off-season. Depending on your geographical location, there may be a certain month or months when people get married most often. I was married in January, 2001, after the holiday crunch. We had a beautiful evening winter wedding indoors.

3) Get married on an off day. You'd be amazed at how much you can save by getting married on Friday night or Sunday afternoon. You'll save even more if you can avoid a weekend altogether.

As an addition to what SoTrue said, don't tell potential vendors that you are planning a wedding. If you are looking for caterers, just say you are having a dinner/luncheon and want prices. Many places have wedding prices and other prices. Of course for weddings it is higher.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Before I got married I bought 3 different colors of Givanchey (sp?) pantyhose in various shades of white/off white/cream at $15 a pop. Once I picked out the correct shade to go with my dress and shoes I bought 2 more of the same kind just in case I got a run. As I was getting dressed for the wedding and trying to get used to my new nails, iput holes in all 3 pairs!!! My aunt ran out the a drug store and bought me some for about $2. I ended up spending over $75.00 on pantyhose that I did not wear at the wedding and even if I had it would not have made a bit of difference to me, my husband or my guests. Talk about going overboard!!! LOL

SoTrue1920 · #10 04-20-2001, 07:27 PM

A few more suggestions:

* Don't be afraid to splurge on things that are important to you. Even though I kept our wedding to family and close friends only, I had lots of "foodies" on my guest list. I knew chicken fingers and raw veggies wouldn't cut it, so I spent more than 60% of our final budget on the reception (most people tell you not to go more than 50%). Conventional wisdom says that people don't remember the food at the wedding -- unless it's bad. Also, ask the reception site whether you can get away with excluding alcohol. Many of them -- especially if you use their onsite catering services -- won't let you. If you're going to have a bar, pay for it yourself. Cash bars are a wee bit on the tacky side. Limit the selections to beer and wine only, or to one special cocktail that will be served all night. Or better yet -- get married during the day, and serve mimosas!

* If you haven't already found your dress, go to bridal salons to try on the gowns. Write down the manufacturers and style numbers of gowns you like. Have the clerk do your measurements, and make a mental note of them (or have a friend come along and write them down). Then, go to Pearl's Place <http://www.pearlsplace.com> or Bridal MarketPlace <http://www.bridalmarketplace.com> and order your gown. I went through Bridal Marketplace and managed to shave $250 off the cost of my gown. Try to get a gown that's simple and requires only minimal alterations -- you'll save money there too.

* Buy your shoes at Payless -- no one will even notice them -- unless you have a fly pair of white shoes you wear during special Zeta occasions.

* Believe it or not, Martha Stewart Weddings is an EXCELLENT resource! She has lots of ideas for favors that require time (and some assistance) but will save you a lot of money. Pick out a project, call over your bridesmaids or your groom and enlist their help. We made homemade peach jam in pretty glass jars for our wedding guests. On one side of the card was a verse and a thank-you note from us, on the other was a biscuit recipe. It was labor intensive, but our guests really remembered the gesture.

* Full-service grocery stores can be good places to look for your wedding bouquet -- shop around, ask other brides in your community or search around for a website dedicated to brides in your town -- they usually have the scoop on great vendors. Also consider a grocery store for your wedding cake.

I'm just FULL of ideas, and I miss being a bride, so if you have any other specific questions, don't be afraid to ask.

Quote:

Originally posted by SoTrue1920:
I was in the same boat you were in. The top things I'd suggest to you are:

1) Keep that guest list DOWN and be FIRM about it. I don't care how many times your mom/dad says they need to invite their co-worker's boyfriend's niece to your wedding, keep it SMALL and SIMPLE.

2) Get married in an off-season. Depending on your geographical location, there may be a certain month or months when people get married most often. I was married in January, 2001, after the holiday crunch. We had a beautiful evening winter wedding indoors.

3) Get married on an off day. You'd be amazed at how much you can save by getting married on Friday night or Sunday afternoon. You'll save even more if you can avoid a weekend altogether.

[This message has been edited by SoTrue1920 (edited April 20, 2001).]

SoTrue1920 · #11 04-20-2001, 07:39 PM

Soror Tiki Suarez is on the East Coast (Florida) and does beautiful work.
http://www.cs.fsu.edu/~suarez/cakes.html

Quote:

Originally posted by 1blubaby:
girl, you better get the hookup from your Sorors!! The Sorors who are professional Wedding planners!! Not the ones who do it on the side you know the" in my spare time" don't go there.....I mean the ones who make a living doing it fulltime......

Sweet Deliverance · #12 04-21-2001, 01:29 AM

Beautiful! Soror Tiki is really working it out. I had a "vision". I've been thinking about the hexagon shaped wedding cake for years. I have to be traditionally different you know.

I believe that women dream about weddings a lot more than men do, I mean the fine details. I've been "planning" in my own mind for a while now, so when the time comes I should be good to go right?

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Sweet Deliverance's PHI-losophy:
"What you do or do not do today determines what you can or cannot do tomorrow."

Rachel0497 · #13 04-21-2001, 01:51 PM

Soror Sweet Deliverance,
I will definitely keep you posted on all of my planning-and good luck to you as well!!!!!

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The Women of Zeta Phi Beta...Simply Irresistible!!!!!!!!!!!

MSTISHA · #14 05-04-2001, 05:33 PM

Sweet Deliverance I understand where you are coming from. I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 29 and we get that question all the time from his parents (his father is Pastor of our church) and other members of our church. We are taking our time and making sure that we are where God wants us to be when we do get married. We have been together for 3 years and I think alot of people get caught up in the planning stages of weddings.

PrettyKitty · #15 05-04-2001, 07:33 PM

Soror SuareZ is VERY TALENTED! I might have to bookmark that page and contact her when I am ready to start planning my wedding!

Those Ladies of Zeta are DA BIZOMB!

A PHD candidate in Computer Science and a Professional Cake Baker! That's what I am talkin bout!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ PHIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!

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The Epitome of Beauty, Style, and Grace, Always Exemplifying Good Taste, A Zeta Woman, A Finer Woman, That's Me!