What do you think?

[uniqueD]

Other forums have recently been talking about some seroius issues. It was quite interesting to hear what some women had to say and I was wondering what do the Zeta's think. I know some of you have posted reponses in other forums but I thought if I post here, for sure I would get some ladies of Zeta Phi Beta into the conversation.

So what do you think? Is there still an issue with light skin Blacks being "better" than dark skin blacks? Are dark skinned blacks portrayed negatively in the media? IS thin in, and what is too thin? Just was wondering what people thought.

[ZetaAce]

Well I've posted in other forums, but my take of the situation is that it it all about people's perceptions. We as a people need to realize that it's not about light or dark, being thin or fat or whatever. For example: Someone posted that she received the comment "You're pretty for a darkskinned girl." What kind of comment is that? Why did the person qualify the compliment? That's garbage!

It's these kind of things that keep us divided as a people. People that have this mentality are not 100% to blame for their perceptions. They were taught this somehow, whether from family or outside influences (like the media).

The same thing goes for body image. How many times have you seen models/actresses who are so thin you can see their bones? Have you ever heard of a parent who put their child on a diet? What about Barbie and her unattainable measurements? (I read that if Barbie was a human being, she literally would not be able to walk because her body would be too frail to support her breasts!) These things affect people especially younger men/women. And they cause the stigmas that we have today.

[ridiculous2000]

Originally posted by uniqueD:
Other forums have recently been talking about some seroius issues. It was quite interesting to hear what some women had to say and I was wondering what do the Zeta's think. I know some of you have posted reponses in other forums but I thought if I post here, for sure I would get some ladies of Zeta Phi Beta into the conversation.
So what do you think? Is there still an issue with light skin Blacks being "better" than dark skin blacks? Are dark skinned blacks portrayed negatively in the media? IS thin in, and what is too thin? Just was wondering what people thought.

I am not a member of Zeta Phi Beta, but I would like to add my opinion. I have also read in the other forums and I think this is a question that can go on and on. I personally think that we need to get past these types of issues. I have always had this problems with my father (may he rest in peace). He would get angry at my brothers and sisters if we dated someone darker than us. As I got older, I realized how stupid it was. I consider myself as being of lighter skin and a full-figured woman as well, but I have always prefered darker men. My husband is of darker skin and I would not change that for the world.
I will end by saying that it always depends on the person. Some people have strange concepts of things.

[Sweet Deliverance]

The fact of the matter is, there are still complexion issues among Black people - the total diaspora. A lot of things that we supposedly don't want to perpetuate are the very things we dramatize in our own families. We call each other names, criticize our lip thickness, nose broadness, natural hair texture and God-given length, etc.

When will we just accept the fact that the complexion and other features God gave us are the ones He wanted us to have and that is part of our individual beauty. Have you ever wondered what you would look like in a different hue, size or shape? God made us unique and special. Some things can't be changed so be happy with them.

How we treat others and our attitudes are another matter. These things can be changed. It is wise to know the difference between what can be changed and what cannot.

I agree with my Soror, ZetaAce, that a lot of things are about perception. We should also realize that all Black people or any specific grouping of people, do not think the same way or have the same preferences.

I'll touch on this and leave it alone, I am a dark sister, and like it that way - can't change that. When it comes to men, I don't care what shade of brown he is. The important thing is that he's SAVED, WORKING, intelligent, ambitious, and knows how to treat a lady. Although I stand 5', I do prefer healthy-sized men 5' 10'' and up. That's another story though.

Sisters and brothers, we must stay focused on helping one another on this journey of life, rather than be divided by factors like the color of our skin.

[CuRiOuSiTy]

I never even thought about this until ridiculous2000 said something very similar. When I was younger my daddy used to always tell me and my little sisters not to ever bring a dark man home. We never really paid any attention to him about that. I'm not what I would consider light nor dark but I always thought it was wrong for him to tell us that considering I have siblings on my other side of my family who were darker.

Needless to say my little sister ended up with a cute chocolate boy (i love him) My boyfriend is my color. And my dad has seemed to have changed his thoughts. Now he wants anyone who is about something and treats us well.(as it should be) I'm happy he changed his train of thought before my other two little sisters get old enough to have boyfriends.

As I posted in another forum, we are all black (african american? you decide). Individually we should embrace our differences (skin color, height, weight, hair, whatever). As a group we should also embrace and be proud of the differences. They make us unique individually and collectively.

SMOOCHES

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"We are each of us angels with one wing, We can only fly embracing each other."

[This message has been edited by CuRiOuSiTy (edited May 16, 2000).]