Do you want kids?

RedRoseSAI · #1 05-05-2005, 03:12 PM

I just had a very interesting experience at Walgreen's. I'm at the checkout with my box of tissues and cough drops when the cashier says "So, is it going to be a good mother's day for you?"

Huh? Nothing about my appearance (except maybe the wedding ring) or what I'm buying says "I'm a mom!". So, I figure he's just trying to making conversation, and I say "I'm not a mother." Then I involuntarily add a "ugh" because the thought of having kids really creeps me out. In general, I don't care for children, nor do I relish the thought of being pregnant or tied down to a child's schedule.

The person behind me (whose appearance DID say "I'm a soccer mom!") says, very antagonistically, "What's so 'ugh' about having children???"

I say "I personaly just don't want children," and she proceeds to look at me like I'm the worst person to ever walk the earth. What gives? Why are some people so sensitive about this? Why do some people think that everyone should be really, really excited about having kids? You want kids? Great, go forth and multiply, but please keep them away from my restaurant table.

Kids are a big responsibility that I do not want, and my life is fabulous without them. Maybe someday I'll change my mind, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. Can anyone else relate?

#2 05-05-2005, 03:17 PM

I do not want children for all the reasons you have just mentioned.

I don't know about the lady behind you, but I wasn't put on this planet to spit out kids and take them to soccer practice on the weekends AND serve on the PTA. Fuuuuuuck that.

AznSAE · #3 05-05-2005, 03:20 PM

i hope to have 3 or 4.

RedRoseSAI · #4 05-05-2005, 03:22 PM

Hey, you don't get to vote! You won't be HAVING the kids.

AznSAE · #5 05-05-2005, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedRoseSAI
Hey, you don't get to vote! You won't be HAVING the kids.

sure i do. what if i adopt?

_Lisa_ · #6 05-05-2005, 03:26 PM

I don't ever want kids. I don't relate to children well & never have. Even with past babysitting experiences when I was in high school I had a hard time understanding children & their needs. I get frustrated that they don't understand what I'm trying to help them understand most times. I don't have the patience to raise a child, let alone several of them! I have this fear that I'll let them down or try to force them to do all the things I never got to do. I know I'll never be happy as they progress from childhood to adulthood because if they aren't 100% successful I'll completely blame myself & possibly end up resenting them for it!

My boyfriend has children & I get to spend some time w/ them every so often. I get along great with them & I think its just because we only see each other for a limited amount of time. If I actually had to "mother" them I don't know what I would do!

WCUgirl · #7 05-05-2005, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedRoseSAI
Kids are a big responsibility that I do not want, and my life is fabulous without them. Maybe someday I'll change my mind, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. Can anyone else relate?

This is TOTALLY how I feel. I hate it when people look at me like I have three heads b/c I say that I don't want children. They say, "Why not?" and go off on a diatribe about how wonderful it is.

I do know that if I ever do decide it's time for Mr. AXiD670 and I to have children, I'd like to hire a surrogate. I do NOT want to be pregnant. I told him this recently, and he seemed rather shocked and wouldn't have a conversation about it.

#8 05-05-2005, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AznSAE
sure i do. what if i adopt?

I don't get it. How are you comparing adoption with physically bearing a life inside of you for 9 months and then shoving 6-9 pounds of it out of your nanz?

The latter is enough to steer many women away from having children.

The Truth · #9 05-05-2005, 03:32 PM

I knew there were more people who didn't want kids. Whenever I tell someone that, they think that is something real strong to say. I don't even want to get married and therefore I don't want any kids.

I am too much into doing what I want to do and you can't do that when you have to stop and figure out what to do with someone else in order for you to do what you want.

I don't have time for all that carrying on. Sheesh. Besides these days kids are terrible. I know I will have some bad kids because I'm ornery as h***. I wouldn't discipline them so they would act like those kids on Supernanny. Then I really couldn't do anything because nobody in thier right mind would watch their bad tails.

Disclaimer:
If I ever do get pregnant, I'm paying child support.

WCUAXID · #10 05-05-2005, 03:35 PM

RedRoseSAI, I once felt the same way that you do, back when I was in college and only into myself and my needs. Now that I am a little bit older and maybe a little bit wiser I would love to have a child. Notice how I said a child. They are a huge responsibility and they take a lot of money!! (I know I cost my mom and dad a pretty penny!!) Heck, I don't even have a child yet, but I think next year we are going to start trying!!!(YEAH for us!!)

I think it would be great to have something that my husband and I created and would look like us, how amazing is that?? I also think it would be great to teach this child and watch him/her grow and see what type of person they turn into.

But by no means do I judge you for not wanting children, this is your opinion. I have close friends and family members that do not have children nor do they want any. This does not make them a bad person, this makes them very smart to realize that they are not parenting material! Too bad other people that are parents didn't think about everything that is involved in raising a child.

AznSAE · #11 05-05-2005, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OTW
I don't get it. How are you comparing adoption with physically bearing a life inside of you for 9 months and then shoving 6-9 pounds of it out of your nanz?

The latter is enough to steer many women away from having children.

i was just making a point that guys can have a say in how many kids they want. if for some reason my wife cannot have kids then we can decide on how many to adopt. i still want at least 3 though.

Lil' Hannah · #12 05-05-2005, 03:45 PM

Yes I would like a spawn or 2.

RedRoseSAI · #13 05-05-2005, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by WCUAXID
RedRoseSAI, I once felt the same way that you do, back when I was in college and only into myself and my needs. Now that I am a little bit older and maybe a little bit wiser I would love to have a child.

WCUAXID, I'm having a hard time decifering the beginning of your post. Please tell me you're not insinuating that I am a)in college, b)only into myself and my needs, and c)not wise. You seem reasonable, so I'm sure you can understand that a person can be 29, married, have a successful job, be generous and giving, and NOT want children, right?

AOIIBrandi · #14 05-05-2005, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedRoseSAI
a person can be 29, married, have a successful job, be generous and giving, and NOT want children, right?

I am right here with you on this one...

I will not say I NEVER want children, but my "clock" hasn't started ticking yet. I actually think I would be a good Mom, and I happen to love kids. But children are a huge responsibility that is a LIFETIME commitment, and I personally don't think anyone who isn't dying to have them should attempt to take on the responsibility.

MysticCat · #15 05-05-2005, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedRoseSAI
Can anyone else relate?

As long as you and Mr. RedRoseSAI are happy with a decision not to have children, it's really no body else's business. Ignore the silly soccer mom. And I say that as a very happy father.

Just one thought -- when the cashier said "So, is it going to be a good mother's day for you?", do you think its possible he or she didn't necessarily assume you're a mom but thought you might be visiting your own mom or something like that?