MSN advice for women

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.asp...annerID=544658

If you live in a more expensive home than he does, don’t invite him over until your relationship is more secure.

And about your job title? Consider downplaying it on the first few dates. If you are president of a real estate company, you can simply tell him that you “sell real estate.” Eventually, if you establish strong feelings for each other, your success should not deter him, and you can say or wear whatever you want.

That's right, women, don't look for a man who appreciates success. Play weak. That's the only way to find a husband!

[Senusret I]

If anyone clicks on the link, it provides the proper context for the excerpted parts.

[AchtungBaby80]

No kidding, though, a lot of guys do get weirded out if their girlfriends/wives make more dough then they do. I was in that position twice, and it did sort of cause issues...you know, because society expects guys to foot the bill when they take us out, but if we make more money, that seems a little unfair.

[trojangal]

That is so true! My mom and dad were great for years until my mom got a promotion with civil service that really gave her a great raise. Dad, who was retired, started all kinds of hsit and they ended up having real big problems. Interestingly enough, this was also about the same time that my mom went back and finished her college degree.

I've had cases where a relationship didn't work b/c the brain chemistry wasn't there. And I've also seen a situation where my brother-in-law totally walked away from a great woman who he was absolutely crazy about..smart, pretty, and they were in the same field. All he had to do was say the word, and she was his. She ended up marrying some guy from way out in left field...

Guys, what's the story?

[ZTAngel]

I think it's too bad that so many men are intimidated by a successful woman that MSN had to come out with an advice column on how to 'downplay' your success. If a man cannot handle the fact that I've gone to college and I want to have a successful career, then I don't want him anyway.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by ZTAngel
If a man cannot handle the fact that I've gone to college and I want to have a successful career, then I don't want him anyway.

Yea, but if you're 43 yrs old and have never been married but want that mister right.....don't you think it's a good idea to try something different if you can't get a mister right the way you're currently doing things?


Personally, I think she's gonna end up being a barren old hagg with a lot of money and a mid-20-something boy toy.

[ZTAngel]

Originally posted by cashmoney
Yea, but if you're 43 yrs old and have never been married but want that mister right.....don't you think it's a good idea to try something different if you can't get a mister right the way you're currently doing things?

I don't know... Maybe I would or maybe I wouldn't try that out to see how it works but I would still find it sad that some guys couldn't handle a successful woman.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by ZTAngel
I don't know... Maybe I would or maybe I wouldn't try that out to see how it works but I would still find it sad that some guys couldn't handle a successful woman.

I like successful women...turns me on. Makes the challenge all the more better. I think those republican chicks all dressed up in buisness outfits are hot. BTW, have you noticed all the hotties wearing BUSH/CHENEY stickers across their boobs on their shirt? Last weekend before this last one in Gainesville I met 4 tri-delts and 2 KDs that had the stickers like that at a party. I think its kind of hot.

[James]

I don't know if this is true or not, but I have read that women will often be unconsciously resentful of men that are less successful or have less status than they do.

And that resentmen comes across in various little ways destroying the relationship.

I know women that have been involved with men that have lost their jobs and grown very resentful of having to support them, even though the men may have supported the women earlier in the relationship.

I would say that a man wouldn't blink an eye at being the major if not sole financial supporter of a relationship.

Why the double standard ladies?

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by James
Why the double standard ladies?

Maybe it's the same one that says we should be more than happy to wash your dirty socks all the time?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by James
I don't know if this is true or not, but I have read that women will often be unconsciously resentful of men that are less successful or have less status than they do.

And that resentmen comes across in various little ways destroying the relationship.

I know women that have been involved with men that have lost their jobs and grown very resentful of having to support them, even though the men may have supported the women earlier in the relationship.

I would say that a man wouldn't blink an eye at being the major if not sole financial supporter of a relationship.

Why the double standard ladies?

I dunno James... I can tell you from another topic somewhere that I cannot remember right now, that this issue has been brought up before...

It is a HUGE issue in the African American community... If a powerhouse sistah dates "inside the race (like inside the box)", she is liable to find many brothaman have less money and less education than her... If that is not a problem for her, then she will be fine... Unfortunately, most men (in general) do not like to be "emasculated" by a woman, period... And many powerhouse sistah's "must" do that kind of thing for office-political reasons--e.g. if she has to go to the Board of Director's dinner capital campaign with some sort of date, then she best show up with properly dress dude with knowledgeable speaking skills... And it gets worse if she has to show up to church with a date...

Most sistahs go it alone or not at all. They immerse themselves in their careers and work, because at least they look like they are doing "something" related to their career. That eventually leads many "single-but looking for brothaman" sistah's extremely lonely and detached from any human relationship...

Just go to my sorority's website and search for the pinings of sistah's who are dateless for numerous occasions... In fact there is some saying or poem that discusses this very topic in the African American community...

I, myself was one of the whiners... But somehow, I became blessed to meet the brothaman in my dreams... Most sistah's are not as blessed as I am... Which puts me in a very precarious situation...

I think that if the male significant other lost his job and isn't trying to find another job or volunteer to be a stay-at-home dad (if there are kids) or volunteer to be the one that stays home and does the housework, then, that's where the problem comes in. Basically, the point is this: if he's not doing his part, that's when women start becoming resentful. A marriage, in my opinion, is 50/50 and both partners have to take on their equal share in the marriage. That's just my $.02.

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by ztawinthropgirl
I think that if the male significant other lost his job and isn't trying to find another job or volunteer to be a stay-at-home dad (if there are kids) or volunteer to be the one that stays home and does the housework, then, that's where the problem comes in. Basically, the point is this: if he's not doing his part, that's when women start becoming resentful. A marriage, in my opinion, is 50/50 and both partners have to take on their equal share in the marriage. That's just my $.02.

Thanks for the pennies, but did you even read the original article?


On-topic, I think that, when taken in context, the advice is (*gasp!*) not in any way misogynistic or anachronistic, but even perhaps 'correct' (in terms of strategy for getting a mate, not like morally etc)

[dphies00]

Money is always an issue in any relationship -- how many times has one platonic friends said oh why don't we all do this (insert expensive idea here). And one stays quiet and doesn't come cause they don't have the dough. Or you try to plan a family reunion and everyone has to remember the family who isn't doing well enough financially to go on a cruise? And then does another family mention that family #1 cannot afford the cruise?

I think the columnist was right in saying, lady, maybe the problem isn't all the men in your life, just yourself and your own hang ups with money and power.

KSig RC,

I did read the article. Someone just said something about the mate losing his job or not having one and that was my pennies. I guess this was just another jab at my obvious stupidity.