IS THIS A "FRIEND?"

[Sexy_DST_Diva]

Greetings Sorors and sister friends.
I am new to Greekchat and decided to post this because my friend and I were debating this issue and she said I had a hangup about this issue. What do you think?

Let's say you and your friend of 10+ years met this guy whom you both liked (at least liked what you saw) and she started talking to him mostly because of your urging. Now during this time you and this guy are intimate your friend sleeps with him behind your back. Ladies this is where the hangup issue comes in. I told her I don't think that a "friend" would or should sleep with someone that thier friend is sleeping with. Regardless if he's your friends man, significant other, or someone she's just seeing/talking too. Now do I have a hangup? or are there any other ladies out there that agree with me? Please advise.

[The Negotiator]

Soror,

I think you already know the answer to this one. This "friend" may not be someone that you want to hold so closely. And after over 10 years I ould have to wonder if she's ever done this before? There is an unspoken code amongst friends...that when one of you is seeing,talking to or with a man that he is off limits. If your friend is even flirting with the idea that it is okay to be intimate with this man when you are interested (let alone sleeping with him) I think you need to watch her.

I hope this helps. Soror just remember that you have 200,000 SISTERS to lean on .

The Negoitoator
Delta Sigma Theta
Mu Alpha
3 SP 00

[DirectorDST99]

Yeah, I think you already now the answer. No friend would do that to another friend.

You don't have a hang-up you just have morals. Not one person is at fault but 2!

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Director #2
LMAC, Spr 99
Galveston Council of Greeks NPHC, President

[Sexy_DST_Diva]

Dear Soror, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! My friend was telling me that she felt I made up this so called "unspoken code" because sleeping with a guy my friend slept with is something I would not do. She states if I believed it was o.k. I wouldn't have made this code up. I had to tell her that I believe not only myself, but numerous other women thought the same way. She didn't think that was totally true. I'm just glad to know that I'm not alone on this. ooooo-ooooop

Originally posted by The Negotiator:
Soror,

I think you already know the answer to this one. This "friend" may not be someone that you want to hold so closely. And after over 10 years I ould have to wonder if she's ever done this before? There is an unspoken code amongst friends...that when one of you is seeing,talking to or with a man that he is off limits. If your friend is even flirting with the idea that it is okay to be intimate with this man when you are interested (let alone sleeping with him) I think you need to watch her.

I hope this helps. Soror just remember that you have 200,000 SISTERS to lean on .

The Negoitoator
Delta Sigma Theta
Mu Alpha
3 SP 00

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Hello ladies, just wanted to add my 2 cents.

Sexy_DST_Diva,

Let me know when you "friend" will be on Jerry Springer so I can watch when she catches a beat down.

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"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." ~Harry S. Truman~

[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited December 18, 2000).]

Originally posted by The Negotiator:
There is an unspoken code amongst friends...that when one of you is seeing,talking to or with a man that he is off limits. If your friend is even flirting with the idea that it is okay to be intimate with this man when you are interested (let alone sleeping with him) I think you need to watch her.

I agree 113%!

[the411]

Maybe I am reading this wrong. You said:

...she started talking to him mostly because of your urging. Now during this time you and this guy are intimate your friend sleeps with him behind your back.

Based on that statement, it sounds to me like you urged HER to talk to him, then YOU slept with him. Is it just me reading this wrong?!?!?! Help me out here! If it went down the way it reads, then it kinda sounds like you're the miscreant. Please correct me if I'm wrong! It's been a LOOONG day, so perhaps I'm just reading something that isn't there (maybe because I'm in the midst of a dry spell if ya catch me). Clarifications welcome!

the411


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Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Pi Kappa, SP97
#3 of QUINTESSENCE

[Sexy_DST_Diva]

Hi 411, yeah you kinda read it wrong, or maybe I wrote it wrong, but basically the one who slept with the guy behind her friends back, is the one that kept urging her friend to talk to, or go out with this guy. I hope this clears it up for you.

Originally posted by the411:
Maybe I am reading this wrong. You said:

Based on that statement, it sounds to me like you urged HER to talk to him, then YOU slept with him. Is it just me reading this wrong?!?!?! Help me out here! If it went down the way it reads, then it kinda sounds like you're the miscreant. Please correct me if I'm wrong! It's been a LOOONG day, so perhaps I'm just reading something that isn't there (maybe because I'm in the midst of a dry spell if ya catch me). Clarifications welcome!

the411

[Sexy_DST_Diva]

Sorors Thank you for your support. DirectorDST I agree with your comment and I told my friend the same thing, that it does takes 2, but if your my friend I expect more from you. A man will try you, but as a friend I expect you to put him in his place.

Originally posted by DirectorDST99:
Yeah, I think you already now the answer. No friend would do that to another friend.

You don't have a hang-up you just have morals. Not one person is at fault but 2!

[This message has been edited by Sexy_DST_Diva (edited December 19, 2000).]

[the411]

Whew! Thanks, girl! I knew I must have been crazy!

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Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Pi Kappa, SP97
#3 of QUINTESSENCE

[kiml122]

All I have to say is this is no friend by no means. Enough said!!

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Peace
KL

[Nubian]

This woman (and I use the term loosely) that you speak of has NO idea what it means to be a true friend. I'm sorry that she hurt you, but maybe this is what you needed to help you realize the type of person she is. Like Director said, you don't have hangups, just morals. Stay Positive

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The most virtuous of all men is he that contents himself with being virtuous without seeking to appear so...

[Sexy_DST_Diva]

She doesn't think what she did was wrong. I've been trying to get her to see that it's just not sensible for friends to sleep with the same guy, but she doesn't seem to be catching that concept. Maybe reading all of your comments will let her see what I've been trying to tell her all along, that what happened was wrong. I've told her that a friend wouldn't do that, but she doesn't think she's been any less of a friend for what she has done. Sometimes Sorors I feel at a lost.
ooooooooooo-oooooooooooop to all my Sorors for all your advise and positive comments. (Thanks guys, rather gals)

[Jewelz]

ok i totally agree with the majority of sisters! that is not a true friend!!seriously i would approach her again and tell her friends dont pull that crap!!That is a kknown rule amoung all girls!My advice take a closer look at this so called friendship!!! ~Jewelz~ mwah