Moving and Loneliness

[APhi Sailorgirl]

Looking for a little encouragement.

I just moved to Boston to pursue my Masters and left my family and friends all back in the MD/DC/VA area. I've found two things so far:

A)everyone up here seems to have taken time off before coming to school, so i'm feeling pretty young since i came straight from undergrad

B)my roommates are cool, but they are all older and have their friends, so i feel left out a lot

C)i feel like i'm never going to find friends. I mean I'm only here for a year and a half, but so far everyone i have met, it just doesn't seem to click

I mean, I know I'm a big girl and I should be able to do things on my own, but I'm used to having 50 sisters around me to do stuff with. I am advising a chapter up here and starting to do stuff with alums, but I just feel alone

For those of you who have left everything, I mean how did you do it. I don't regret moving, but I dont want to spend the next year and a half all by myself.

[/end feeling sorry for myself]

[winneythepooh7]

Well it looks like you may be on your way already. I really recommend getting as involved as you can with your sorority's alumnae association. It's hard getting to know new people in the beginning but remember that most people are in the same boat. Are there certain interests you have? Maybe going to the gym or a local bar? These are ways you may be able to meet new people. Also see what is going on at your school. Also, just because some of your classmates may be a couple years older, I still think that whether you are in your 20's or early 30's you still have lots in common. You may have to be the one to make the first move too. If you have no plans on a Saturday night why not call up some of those ladies from your AA and ask them if they want to join you for a night on the town? You may have to weed out the wierdos but I know craigslist.org has a section for "groups", you may be able to meet people this way. Good luck!!!

[mmcat]

also you might try finding a church...if religion is part of your background.

[mu_agd]

you sound exactly like i was, when i moved here about two years ago. just try to get involved in everything you can. BU has an APhi chapter, so maybe go over to the house and meet the girls or try to get involved in the Alumnae group. i met a few of my close friends now through AGD's group. or does the school where you went for undergrad have a group? i do a lot with Boston's Miami alumni group. boston is a tough city to just pick up and move to, but the more you do and the more you get involved in, it makes it easier to meet people. plus i'm sure you'll meet tons through your classes. good luck though!

[sigmagrrl]

I just wanted to share that I know how you feel. I moved to the Philly area before Christmas from DC and I moved back to the DC area in July because the loneliness got so bad, I had a nervous breakdown. Yes, other things contributed to it (I got very ill, I hated my new job, unresolved depression from my father's passing two years ago, etc). I tried to find Tri Sigmas nearby, but none ever responded. I hated life. I even contemplated suicide. My life fell apart.

Granted, I am the exception to the rule. But I do understand. I wish I knew what to say to comfort you. I know that at least with school, you do have a semi-built in social network.

I like the others' suggestions....I will keep you in my prayers. Loneliness hurts more than people realize...

[HBADPi]

I think everyone at some point in their lives has gone through the move to a new city and meet new people moment. It's not easy but you learn a lot even if it is a negative experience. I totally understand how you feel. I moved from Boston to LA for grad school last Sept and it took me a long time to get adjusted and meet new people. Like sigmagirl, I didn't receive a response from the ADPi AAs at first but after forcing myself to go to a couple of events I've meet enough people that if I need someone to talk to or hang out I can. Keep in mind that even if you dont click the first time you meet someone it doesnt mean they wont be someone you shouldnt get to know better. Another great thing is to check out the campus for events or activities where you could meet people. Is there a student union you could hang out at? Does the school gym offer pilates/yoga/etc classes you could take? And hey if all else fails plan a Boston GC get-together and you can meet some of the people from the site, I'm in town for another 7-10 days.

Chin up it gets better, enjoy your time in Boston its a beautiful city with lots to offer (but I'm slightly biased ) PM me if you need any pointers or if you just want to vent .

[PlymouthDZ]

I'm going in the opposite direction as you this summer. I'm going from the Boston area to the MD/VA/DC area.

Anyways.. what about clubs and such from the college/university you are attending? Other than that, the above mentioned ideas are a good place to start.

And if all else fails, I'm not an A Phi.. but I'm 2 hours away from Boston in NH if you ever want to see more of New England!

As HBADPi said.. Boston and the surrounding areas are beautiful and have a LOT to offer. Think outside of what you're comfortable with and know.. try something new. I know once winter hits.. on Frog Pond in Boston there is Ice Skating.. that is a LOT of fun!

*Hugs* Hope things get better soon!

[astroAPhi]

I'm sorry... I know it's hard to go out by yourself and try to meet people. Are there any organizations on campus for graduate students? You met people through Alpha Phi, so why not try meeting people who share other interests?

Good luck and A-Phi love!