Can someone tell me WHY

[StrangeFruit]

I've chosen to practice abstinence for over three years. When a brothah goes to that area of a conversation and learns of this he immediately thinks that something is wrong with me, I must be backed-up (whatever that means), sexually frustrated. Or I get, "Oh, you must not have gotten any good sx."

Where is this coming from? Is not having sex such a bad thing? It irriates me to no-end to hear men react in this manner as if they couldn't go without for a day.

I love music, so I tend to watch a lot of video's (and I think I'm making up for not having cable when I was a child ) and all I see is pssy galore (as The Roots say). It absolutely ridiculous. And it's not only videos, but tv, movies, billboards, etc. And if I hear "it's like that b/c sex sells" one more time, I will scream .

I truely believe that cd would sell even if there's no women shaken their tale, showin their tig or biddies, or almost but not quite kissin' another female.

Why are people so sex-crazed?

[TheEpitome1920]

ROFLOL. I don't think that question can be answered. There's just this assumption that everyone is having sex and if you aren't then something is wrong with you. When it should really be the other way around if you aren't married. IMO.

[wrigley]

Not necessarily. If you notice the videos that have more overt sex themes involved are usually the ones where the songs can't stand on their own merit. In 10yrs will these songs be remembered for anything else than their disrepect of women?

As for your personal choice not to have sex, the men are responding that way because deep down they know you won't fall for any of their tired lines.I'm sure they're minds are frozen because that means they actually have to talk to a woman like a person and not as a player. Uh oh

I'd just respond that for me it's quality not quantity. When you find a man that can measure up to what you want why should you settle? And if a guy is bragging on how much sex he is having chances are he is having it alone or with a blowup doll.

[Imperial1]

Originally posted by StrangeFruit
I've chosen to practice abstinence for over three years. When a brothah goes to that area of a conversation and learns of this he immediately thinks that something is wrong with me, I must be backed-up (whatever that means), sexually frustrated. Or I get, "Oh, you must not have gotten any good sx."

Where is this coming from? Is not having sex such a bad thing? It irriates me to no-end to hear men react in this manner as if they couldn't go without for a day.

I love music, so I tend to watch a lot of video's (and I think I'm making up for not having cable when I was a child ) and all I see is pssy galore (as The Roots say). It absolutely ridiculous. And it's not only videos, but tv, movies, billboards, etc. And if I hear "it's like that b/c sex sells" one more time, I will scream .

I truely believe that cd would sell even if there's no women shaken their tale, showin their tig or biddies, or almost but not quite kissin' another female.

Why are people so sex-crazed?

Well, men tend to be the bigger dogs when it comes to sex, so I guess that could be the reason.

Imperial1

[RBL]

Originally posted by Imperial1
Well, men tend to be the bigger dogs when it comes to sex, so I guess that could be the reason.

Imperial1

[CasanovaAPQ]

i think you first have to change your way of thinking, you must first know that your arent dealing with a man but a boy. a real man would respect you and be happy in the fact that you care about your body and have respect for yourself. That is a boy mentallity.

Im our society today we have to many boys and not enough men, is it our society where they make a boy think he is a man but the number of women he sleeps with? is it the fact that young boys arent being raised in a household with a father so they try to prove there manhood by sleeping with women? or is it that women have such low self esteems that they think all they have to offer is there body for a man?

could be on reason or all those reasons. But i think it comes down to our society's drive for love. Our whole ideal of love has been so distorted by sex, money and other things that we are becoming a society that doesnt know how to love. Example. 57% of marriages end in divorce ( to major reasons, money and sex), we have a president who would let thousand of people die because he wants to avenge his father, we have people killing others in the name of god, abortionist who fight for the right for life but kill to protect the right to live( is it me or does that defeat the purpose).

To sum it all up without going into a thesus statement, all these things i have mentioned are driven by love, whether its for god or a belief its love, and to relate it back to the thread, people dont know how to love or have a very selfish love. Love isnt selfish, but we are so dstorted aboutt hat word love we dont know how to do it. Males are a perfect example. Years of training about what a man is leads an absence of love. The word love is popular but the feeling, expression is truely unknown to so many.

i know its alot and i didnt even say everything i wanted to please comment

[Imperial1]

Originally posted by RBL

Imperial1

[NuQueen04]

Originally posted by CasanovaAPQ
i think you first have to change your way of thinking, you must first know that your arent dealing with a man but a boy. a real man would respect you and be happy in the fact that you care about your body and have respect for yourself. That is a boy mentallity.

Im our society today we have to many boys and not enough men, is it our society where they make a boy think he is a man but the number of women he sleeps with? is it the fact that young boys arent being raised in a household with a father so they try to prove there manhood by sleeping with women? or is it that women have such low self esteems that they think all they have to offer is there body for a man?

I agree with you... Society is perpetuating a culture that generates boys instead of men for numerous reasons. There are alot of Boys Pretending To Be Men (BP2BM) Boys automatically think something is wrong with a woman abstaining from sex. LOL, they buy into that high school mentality "well, everybody's doing it" Reality check folks: AIDS!!!

A real man would be honored to be in the presence of a woman that places such a high value on herself.

[LB1914]

Originally posted by NuQueen04
I agree with you... Society is perpetuating a culture that generates boys instead of men for numerous reasons. There are alot of Boys Pretending To Be Men (BP2BM) Boys automatically think something is wrong with a woman abstaining from sex. LOL, they buy into that high school mentality "well, everybody's doing it" Reality check folks: AIDS!!!

A real man would be honored to be in the presence of a woman that places such a high value on herself.

Although a real man would be honored, that doesn't necessarily mean that he was to get with her program either. The aforementioned comebacks aim at her are not cool at all, but at the same time a "real" man doesn't have to jump at the chance to be with her either. No, everyone is not having sex, but everyone that is not currently sexually active with someone is not waiting for marriage or "the one" either.

Personally, I am not practicing abstinence or celibacy. Therefore, if I come across someone that is waiting until marriage then I would not want to waste my time or theirs. If that makes me something less than a "real" man then oh well. I don't think that there is anything wrong with a woman abstaining from sex, but that wouldn't be my ideal mate.

[NuQueen04]

Originally posted by LB1914
Although a real man would be honored, that doesn't necessarily mean that he was to get with her program either. The aforementioned comebacks aim at her are not cool at all, but at the same time a "real" man doesn't have to jump at the chance to be with her either.

You are right. He doesn’t have to get with her program, but as a real man he should respect her decision. Everyone has the choice to “get with the program” or move on. It’s really that simple. My issue is when folks act like practicing abstinence or celibacy is strange or unheard of in this day and age.

“When a brothah goes to that area of a conversation and learns of this he immediately thinks that something is wrong with me, I must be backed-up (whatever that means), sexually frustrated. Or I get, "Oh, you must not have gotten any good sx."

In my opinion, the brotha from Strangefruit's quote has a boy mentality.

Therefore, if I come across someone that is waiting until marriage then I would not want to waste my time or theirs. If that makes me something less than a "real" man then oh well.

IMO only, how you react to that person that is waiting until marriage or "the one" would determine your mentality.