disheartened

piphimaggie · #1 08-02-2004, 05:19 PM

Ok ladies,
I need your support...this is just getting a little too rough for me. Maybe it was the college I went to and the fact that there was a distinct rift between the non-greek students and the greek ones, or the fact that initially my parents didnt understand why I went greek in the first place (they support it now, aside from the occasional eye-rolling), but I feel like my greek enthusiasm is being bogged down by others. I'm not a cookie-cutter sorority girl, never will be, but I love wearing my letters (I just became an alumna) and I still enjoy buying little things to do w/ PiPhi (stationery, keychains, looking at a lavalier...etc). My mom tends to say "arent you getting a little old for that now?" or something along those lines but yesterday at work I got particularly pissed off. Ok, so we had done inventory in the department store I work for about a week ago...and since it was done through the middle of the night we could wear whatever we wanted...I wore letters. Some people commented on it, nothing negative...one guy who works in my department was amongst those who said something. Then yesterday, he asked me what the necklace I was wearing said and when I said it was a lavalier w/ my letters on it he rolled his eyes and said "oh god." What the hell is wrong with people???? Do I have to now pretend that this part of my life is nonexistent SIMPLY because I am no longer in college? Are they jealous??? I usually am told that they wouldn't join a group like that but then they find it necessary to poke fun at me even though I am an intelligent, nice, and respectful person.....I dont go around making fun of people for their various affiliations (ie: calling people hicks for being in a 4H club). I'm just getting really sick of it....especially because PiPhi is very special to me....I'm going through a rough transition period when I have NO IDEA what the rest of my life will entail and right now I am relying on things that are comfortable....like family, close friends, and PIPHI. Is there something wrong with that? Up until very recently, I never thought so

Help, sisters!

carnation · #2 08-02-2004, 05:47 PM

I can not express enough contempt for anyone who would cut someone down because they love an organization...be it a Greek org, Future Farmers, or whatever. If someone cuts down Pi Phi, I immediately cross him/her off my list of people who matter to me.

dakareng · #3 08-02-2004, 07:11 PM

There is nothing wrong with YOU. I'm with Carnation, if someone can't respect things that are important to me, then they aren't really friends. If they don't understand what makes Pi Phi a lifetime organization (vs a college club) then they need to ask! You're never to old to buy and use things with Pi Phi on them. Heck, I still carry a Pi Phi checkbook cover (given to me 2 years ago by my niece who is now a Chi O... we exchange cute GMO things). What you're feeling is normal and I hope you hook up with some other Pi Phi alums soon. There are events planned thoughout the year in major cities aimed at recent grads for social/ networking (last year they were in Atlanta and New York... I think Chicago is on the schedule next). Just keep HQ up to date with your address so they can find you.

Speechpath · #4 08-02-2004, 08:16 PM

Ditto all of the above, we all take our affiliation very seriously and those people who make comments like that just don't understand. Sometimes it's worth trying to help them understand and sometimes it's not worth your breath. If something is important to you, whatever it is, then you hold dear and forget those little comments. Wear your letters proudly, I still wear mine, even still have a sticker on my car and I've often gotten that "aren't you too old for that stuff" but in my mind I never will be.

piphimaggie · #5 08-02-2004, 10:19 PM

thanks ladies...I really appreciate the support. It's been rough lately with all the indecision about the future...it magnifies everything else. Ive always handled the whole teasing thing pretty well, but right now, I swear, someone says one more thing, it will not be pretty. Im proud to be greek, and I respect others who are greek but not necessarily PiPhis (I have some great Delta friends). Maybe this guy at work was poking fun at it because he likes me? He keeps asking me "so when are you gonna take me out?" but then goes on to say that all he wants to do is drink. Um, no thanks. I am capable of having fun sans the libations. *sigh* So I'm partially creeped out/pissed off at this guy and I JUST started this job. ARGH! I JUST WANT SOME PEACE!

As to meeting other alums

, mom dragged me to a Longaberger party and one of the women there saw my lavalier, gave me a big hug and told me she was a PiPhi at IL State in the 70s

I contacted the alum club president for the area and I hope to be getting info soon. PiPhi will always be with me, heck, I plan on going to convention in the future....regardless of what others may think.
Thanks again, sisters.....any other words of wisdom on my predicament would be gratefully accepted...i need it right now!

Speechpath · #6 08-02-2004, 10:42 PM

Maybe he is teasing b/c he likes you, although from the sounds of him I might pass on that one! Do get involved in an alum club, it's great to meet new friends, young and old. Think you are too old to be wearing your letters, trust me you don't feel that way sitting next to a golden arrow at the Founder's day lunch! Getting involved in an alum group allows you to continue your Pi Phi experience in a whole new way and be around your sisters who always make you feel welcome!

Lady Pi Phi · #7 08-03-2004, 10:34 AM

I've taken to ignoring people that mock my affiliation.

I find a lot of people don't udnerstand greek organizations, especially in Canada where greek life isn't all that big. When people say to me "oh you were in a sorority" I say, "yes I AM IN a sorority. I don't feel I have to justify my love for Pi Phi to anyone. I am proud to be a member of this organization and if people choose to mock me about it, well that's fine, all that does is show me what kind of people they are.

breathesgelatin · #8 08-03-2004, 10:35 AM

I've found that non-Greeks tend to only hear the negative stereotypes of Greek organizations, and they think it's really funny to joke about them. They don't understand that our affiliations are genuinely important to us. They don't understand the bonds of our sisterhood. They just see the social aspect.

I'm sorry that that guy has been so hurtful to you. Maybe instead of taking him out you can invite him to your new alum club's next service day so he can find out what Pi Phi is really all about.

piphimaggie · #9 08-03-2004, 01:22 PM

haha! I should take him to the next service day! LOL. As for today? I'm wearing my pin to work!

EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT, HATERS!

Thanks ladies, you all rock!

Wine&SilverBlue · #10 08-03-2004, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by piphimaggie
haha! I should take him to the next service day! LOL. As for today? I'm wearing my pin to work! EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT, HATERS!
Thanks ladies, you all rock!

yeahhh!!! thats the pi phi spirit!!! :-D

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angelove · #11 08-04-2004, 10:06 AM

Does that guy ever wear shirts/hats/etc. from his college? Assuming he's graduated, you could always give him the response that it's similar to wearing a university t-shirt or logo even after he's graduated. Of course, Pi Phi pride is on a higher level

but maybe this analogy will help him understand.

piphimaggie · #12 08-04-2004, 11:43 AM

he's 24 and has not yet graduated from undergrad, no. So I dont know what his deal is.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #13 08-04-2004, 12:07 PM

Ha. He's a loser, that's his problem.

So seriously: when people say, "aren't you getting a bit old for that?" WHAT exactly am I too old for? Friendship? Sisterhood? Philanthropy? Fun?

Usually when people say things like that to me I just tell them I have an alumna group I do things with and I love it. You'd be surprised how many people think greek life ends with graduation!

PS - makes me feel better, girls, to see you all still buy sorority stuff too! As I speak I have a little Phi Mu pot on my desk at work, and that's next to a little picture frame that's got letters on it and my sisters IN it! And I have a little magnet on one of my filing cabinets. Hey, I don't have kids.

I gotta have pics up of something!

piphimaggie · #14 08-04-2004, 02:35 PM

Thanks, Jacquelyn, you're a sweetie...and I think you're right. Hokielove-thank you sooo much for the PM, it made me feel a lot better

I'm thinking everything will be ok, and I'm obviously not alone in my annoyance of people taking issue with greek affiliation.