Alcohol and Sororities Advice

reverie · #1 07-21-2004, 01:59 PM

I'm planning on going through recruitment this fall. Often, I receive a response similar to: "But you don't drink? How could you be in a sorority?" or "I think you'd make a good XYZ, but they drink a lot!"

I've already told people that drinking is not a requirement of any sorority, but they seem to just shrug it off. I hardly believe that the amount of alcohol I can/will consume is directly related to how dedicated I will be as a sister.

Does anyone have an advice on a proper response to these comments? So far I've just been trying to grin and bear it, but it's so annoying!

ETA: Fix my spelling error!

astroAPhi · #2 07-21-2004, 02:12 PM

There are a lot of preconceived notions about Greeks, and one of them is that they're drunk all the time. Unfortunately, it's a stereotype that you're going to have to endure if you end up joining a social sorority, because there's a lot of people who aren't going to actually take a deeper look and change their minds. Instead, it's just simpler for them to buy into a stereotype.

I'd point out that there are college students who drink, and some who don't. There's a lot of heavy drinkers outside of GLOs, but there's also non-drinkers in GLOs as well. If you choose to be one of the non-drinkers, good for you.

If your friends don't believe you, well, then they can just pull their foot out of their mouth later.

Shima-Mizu · #3 07-21-2004, 02:12 PM

Don't listen to what people are telling you about drinking.

It's just like with any group of friends, male or female, Greek or non-Greek. Not everyone in every group of friends will drink, or do this activity or that activity.

Besides that, during recruitment, alcohol is one of the forbidden subjects to discuss. They're not allowed to ask you if you drink, just like how you're not allowed to get them to talk about if they drink / how much. Therefore, your drinking habits are not something that is put into any consideration when sororities are choosing who to give bids to. It's a good way of doing things in my opinion, because sororities aren't there just to give people excuses to drink. And if some person thinks they exist for only that purpose? That person probably doesn't belong in one in my opinion...

_Lisa_ · #4 07-21-2004, 02:14 PM

I'm willing to bet that you aren't talking to someone who is currently in a sorority! It sounds to me like the people you are talking to have a lot of misconceptions about sororities (which is nothing new) & that you could either spend your time correcting them or just shrug 'em off.

I wouldn't be intimidated by their comments, if you join a sorority & you find that a lot of the girls do drink & it makes you uncomfortable then you don't have to continue pledging! I hope this isn't the case though & I hope you have a good time through recruitment!

reverie · #5 07-21-2004, 02:16 PM

Thanks so much! It's so nice to have reassurance after people have told me that it's okay if I rush, but they'll never see me again if I pledge. (We have deferred rush.)

AXOKatie · #6 07-21-2004, 02:16 PM

You can handle it several ways:

1) Cut them off - "We don't discuss parties during recruitment because we want people to get to know us for stuff other than our fantastic social occasions"

2) Turn around - "Sure. we have great parties, and we also have service day, Must See TV Nights, etc..."

3) Upfront - "I don't drink because I'm always the Sober Sister or photographer catching my friends (note: friends, not sister) at their silliest"

4) Misdirection - "Where did you hear that?" if they say "My friend/parents/hallmates" then ask about that person, if they're Greek, where they're from, etc. Can lead to a whole other conversation

As far as drinking being equated with your commitment to the org., that's just wrong and unfortunate that someone would think that. I would just emphasize your commitment in the number of offices you've held and your social contributions outside of the bottle.

AXOKatie · #7 07-21-2004, 02:20 PM

Whoops, i saw the APO and thought you were IN the org. for which you were asking advice! Regardless, i still think it's advice that non-drinking sisters can use since i personally know a lot of non-drinkers in my org. Right on target what everyone else said, drinking-not drinking isn't an issue during recruitment since alcohol is a subject that most avoid...just be yourself and you'll be awesome

Shima-Mizu · #8 07-21-2004, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXOKatie
You can handle it several ways:

1) Cut them off - "We don't discuss parties during recruitment because we want people to get to know us for stuff other than our fantastic social occasions"

2) Turn around - "Sure. we have great parties, and we also have service day, Must See TV Nights, etc..."

3) Upfront - "I don't drink because I'm always the Sober Sister or photographer catching my friends (note: friends, not sister) at their silliest"

4) Misdirection - "Where did you hear that?" if they say "My friend/parents/hallmates" then ask about that person, if they're Greek, where they're from, etc. Can lead to a whole other conversation

As far as drinking being equated with your commitment to the org., that's just wrong and unfortunate that someone would think that. I would just emphasize your commitment in the number of offices you've held and your social contributions outside of the bottle.

We practiced discussion making for recruitment at the end of the year, and we tried several of those approaches. It's really tricky the first time though when you're not prepared for that type of question and all you were told is "not to discuss it" but then we all brainstormed ways to fix the situation, and get us off that topic. I think it's good practice for regular life conversations too whenever someone brings up something you don't want to discuss... ^_^

aephi alum · #9 07-21-2004, 02:50 PM

Another thing to keep in mind is that most, if not all, NPC sororities have programs in place to discourage drinking, especially underage drinking and alcohol abuse. I will take my sorority as an example - I think this is fairly typical:

- Part of our new member education is about alcohol awareness - the effects of alcohol on your body, how to recognize if you or someone you know might have a problem with alcohol, resources that you can use.
- All members are expected to abide by all federal, state/province, and local laws, and university regulations - this includes the drinking age.
- Chapter funds cannot be used to buy alcohol, even indirectly (e.g. co-sponsoring an event with another group who offers to buy the booze while AEPhi buys the food or pays the rent for the venue).
- All AEPhi houses are dry; this means no alcohol at all, even if you are of age and keep it in your room.

All NPC recruitment activities, including bid day, are also dry.

No matter which sorority you look at, chances are some sisters drink and others don't. But no one will ever think the less of you for choosing not to drink (and if they did, would you really want to be there?).

Do you have friends who are in sororities and don't drink? Try citing them as examples to the naysayers.

Xylochick216 · #10 07-21-2004, 08:51 PM

I was worried about the same thing when I went through recruitment. I didn't drink at all freshman or sophomore years, and I knew there were some chapters on campus that were very accepting of that and some that had a reputation. After going through recruitment, I found that a lot of my preconceived notions weren't correct. I did, however, steer clear of the house that constantly talked alcohol to me. I found my home and never once have I felt like I had to drink to fit in. Now that I am of age, I join in. It just wasn't something I wanted to spend the time or money doing before.

I'm sure you will be fine

We're not allowed to talk about alcohol during recruitment, so when a PNM asks about it, I just tell them that my sorority has policies on underage drinking and we accept people who choose to drink or not to drink.

AOII*Azra-elle · #11 07-22-2004, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by aephi alum
Another thing to keep in mind is that most, if not all, NPC sororities have programs in place to discourage drinking, especially underage drinking and alcohol abuse. I will take my sorority as an example - I think this is fairly typical:

- All members are expected to abide by all federal, state/province, and local laws, and university regulations - this includes the drinking age.
- Chapter funds cannot be used to buy alcohol, even indirectly (e.g. co-sponsoring an event with another group who offers to buy the booze while AEPhi buys the food or pays the rent for the venue).
- All AEPhi houses are dry; this means no alcohol at all, even if you are of age and keep it in your room.

All NPC recruitment activities, including bid day, are also dry.

No matter which sorority you look at, chances are some sisters drink and others don't. But no one will ever think the less of you for choosing not to drink (and if they did, would you really want to be there?).

Do you have friends who are in sororities and don't drink? Try citing them as examples to the naysayers.

This goes for AOII as well.
I'm the girl, even though I'm of age, who gets the camera and gets my sisters/friends at their worst!

On my campus, no sorority house can have alcohol in their house, they cannot co sponsor an event that has alcohol, and we aren't allowed at fraternity houses during recruitment b/c of parties and 'dirty rushing'. So, I wouldn't worry about it, drinking falls into the one of the 5 D's catagory: Dudes, Daddies, Drinkin, Drugs, and Doin' it.

BabyP · #12 07-22-2004, 03:43 AM

I have friends that are non greek that drink but my sorority is a NO alcohol one. but if you are concerned about drinking habits of the sororities then maybe you could seek out one with a strict no alcohol policy.

33girl · #13 07-25-2004, 07:03 PM

Or you could say "well, even though I don't drink they're going to let me in because I dance the lambada naked in the cafeteria every Thursday at noon." I tend to answer ridiculous questions with extremely sarcastic answers.

KSUViolet06 · #14 07-25-2004, 07:27 PM

I'm in a sorority and I've never had a drink in my life. It's not a real big deal. Alcohol isn't permitted at any of our functions anyway. The only time girls are drinking might be at a fraternity event. And I simply say no thanks

People said the same things to me. They obviously know NOTHING about Greek Life, so I say, no need to repond, just ignore.

KSUViolet06 · #15 07-25-2004, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AOII*Azra-elle
This goes for AOII as well.
I'm the girl, even though I'm of age, who gets the camera and gets my sisters/friends at their worst! On my campus, no sorority house can have alcohol in their house, they cannot co sponsor an event that has alcohol, and we aren't allowed at fraternity houses during recruitment b/c of parties and 'dirty rushing'. So, I wouldn't worry about it, drinking falls into the one of the 5 D's catagory: Dudes, Daddies, Drinkin, Drugs, and Doin' it.

Ditto for us,and I believe ALL NPC's.