WEDDING ETIQUETTE? #4

OOHLALA · #1 01-24-2001, 04:59 PM

Here goes...

I have a couple of former beaus' that I am now very good friends with. They are very familiar with my family. Would it be politically incorrect to invite them and their wives to my wedding?

How would you feel about your mate inviting their EX, to the wedding?

Discogoddess · #2 01-24-2001, 08:23 PM

We had a "no-ex" policy for our wedding, owing to many things, but the bottom line for us was this: only those people who will stand with you and help you protect and preserve your marriage should be in attendance, and though I was at the time friends/cool with some of my exes, I could not say that these would be people that would help me (or I would turn to) uphold my marriage. Hell, there were some friends and family who weren't in attendance because of their inability to stand with us as a married couple.

AKAtude · #3 01-25-2001, 09:41 AM

Quote:

We had a "no-ex" policy for our wedding

The same goes for me and my fiance. I'm on friendly terms with one ex, but I will not invite him.

[This message has been edited by AKAtude (edited January 25, 2001).]

serenity_24 · #4 01-25-2001, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OOHLALA:

Would it be politically incorrect to invite them and their wives to my wedding?

Them and their WIVES!

LOL.

Seriously, though, I feel that if they have moved on to that point and you are about to commit yourself to your new husband, there should be no insecurities. If there are insecurities on any side, I would feel like we needed a little more time because obviously somebody is not ready.

If your fiance knows your ex's and all of you are cool, then he knows that they are not trying to interfere with the relationship. On the other hand, if you've been keeping in touch with your ex's and your future husband doesn't know

something is kind of incorrect from the jump.

AKA2D '91 · #5 01-25-2001, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by serenity_24:
[BOn the other hand, if you've been keeping in touch with your ex's and your future husband doesn't know

something is kind of incorrect from the jump.[/B]

...and you're right!

OOHLALA · #6 01-27-2001, 01:52 AM

Serenity_24, it is not like that at all. The couples are known by my fiance. AND he admitted he does not mind because there are no insecurities....

Believe me, everything is out on the table!
I am just curious, what about their wives? I certainly would not invite them without the wife...Besides, we have met and, like you said there are NO insecurities on either side.

Thank you all, for your comments. I will send invitations to two, and if they come they come, if they don't, they don't!

toocute · #7 03-05-2001, 03:19 PM

Hi Ladies,

Just bringing this topic back up to the top because I wanted to know how the wedding plans are going?

There are quite a few of you getting married this year. Any questions for us married folk you need answered? Planning a wedding is a trip. Don't wait until your wedding day and say "oh shoot...I forgot about that. Let me log on to greekchat and find out from my peeps!!" It will be too late.

OOHLALA · #8 03-05-2001, 04:45 PM

Thanks toocute for asking....

I am way ahead of the game. All I need now is a caterer.

Please see #5....

[This message has been edited by OOHLALA (edited March 05, 2001).]

Ideal08 · #9 03-05-2001, 04:53 PM

I would definitely be understanding, especially if I changed the date of the wedding. Friends are forever, in my book. Now about her cruise. My friend got married on a cruise, but it was just him and his wife. The wedding party didn't go on the cruise. The boat stayed docked until after the ceremony. Wedding party got off the boat, newlyweds stayed on. Maybe your friend's could be the same way? That way, there could be a slight possibility that you could still go, if your calendar (and pocket) permits. Just a thought!

FeeFee · #10 03-05-2001, 05:19 PM

I attended a friends wedding about 4 years ago and was surprised to see her ex entering the church! He also went to the reception as well! At least he had sense enough to bring a date with him

I had the same conversation with my boyfriend and we agreed: NO EXES ALLOWED!!!!! Don't care how close they are with the family, they can't come!!!

Diamond007 · #11 03-05-2001, 05:48 PM

Ditto Discogoddess!!!!!!1

nikki25 · #12 03-05-2001, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Discogoddess:
We had a "no-ex" policy for our wedding, owing to many things, but the bottom line for us was this: only those people who will stand with you and help you protect and preserve your marriage should be in attendance, and though I was at the time friends/cool with some of my exes, I could not say that these would be people that would help me (or I would turn to) uphold my marriage. Hell, there were some friends and family who weren't in attendance because of their inability to stand with us as a married couple.

I completely agree with this sentiment.

OOHLALA, I think it may be good to consider your motivations. Why do you really want to invite your ex? What benefit are you getting from that? (these are questions that seem brash {please forgive me for that}, but you should ponder them before sending those invitations).

I'm of the opinion that large society weddings just don't make the affair very meaningful. A wedding allows for a communion of two supporting groups as they salute your marital journey. On your wedding day, you should be able to look around the room at the witnesses who will be willing to encourage and support you as you wed and seek to maintain your marriage. The wedding should be an intimate affair. Co-workers, exes, old and detached friends should not be invited because it's polite, but because you sincerely believe they mean well for you.

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I will bless the Lord at ALL times His praise shall continually be in my mouth. (Psalms 34:1, KJV)

[This message has been edited by nikki25 (edited March 05, 2001).]