A little depressed....

SDTSarah · #1 05-28-2003, 02:24 AM

Hi everyone...

I am a member of a wonderful sorority, but we're also the newest sorority at my school. We chartered in 2001, while almost all of the other sororities have been on campus since the late 50's. We have about 35 girls, but most of the other sororities have 150-200. I know I shouldn't be so concerned with numbers, but it really hurts to hear the negative comments made by members of other sororities.

We have these things called "Power Polls" in the newspaper, and they basically make fun of all the intramural teams...and most of them are Greeks. We got called "the worst sorority on campus."

Luckily, our wonderful new Greek Advisor (a lovely Pi Phi

) and the ISC president put an end to that.

Has anyone else ever been in this position?! Numerically, we are the weakest chapter, but I feel like we have so much more going for us. We have a strong sisterhood, and we won Most Improved GPA. I'm just so tired of being defensive. And my organization isn't very big in the South, so it's hard to find people around me to relate to. I love my sorority...why do people have to be so mean?

Kevin · #2 05-28-2003, 02:42 AM

Success in GLO's is often cyclical. Whoever is up this year is probably not going to be up 5 or 10 years from now. But then they'll be up again.

With hard work your day will come.

sugar and spice · #3 05-28-2003, 02:54 AM

Hugs for you, Sarah. People can be nasty. Just ignore it.

Is your biggest concern what people think of you, or is it that you want bigger numbers so your group can be more competitive? It seems to me that it's what people think -- and you can't change that. So just keep loving your sorority, being proud of your letters, and having fun with your sisters -- and eventually people will take notice.

Maybe you can work with your Greek advisor to plan all-sorority events. I know that at our school, the officers from each sorority have mini-retreats and dinners together to bond and share ideas -- i.e., the recruitment chairs from each group all have dinner at the DG house, the presidents from each sorority have dinner at the Theta house, the philanthropy chairs from each sorority have dinner at the Kappa house. They work on problems facing all sororities or the Greek system as a whole, and share ideas on how to make all our sororities better. You could also do all-Greek socials or try inviting another sorority to hang out with you guys sometime to do makeovers, have a scrapbook party, watch movies or do a self-defense workshop. Basically, anything that lets you get to know the girls in other sororities better will be a good thing, because they'll see how cool you guys are and how you have just as worthy of a sorority as they do.

CatStarESP4 · #4 05-28-2003, 03:08 AM

SDTSarah, repeat the following sentence after me. High number of members do not a strong chapter always make. I mean you sometimes get a strong chapter with just a small number of members. Case and point, I am a founding member and alumna of a small, yet strong sorority that is planning on growing. Besides your chapter is very young, be patient! Give it some time and it will grow. You are fortunate to have a wonderful advisor in that Pi Phi alumna and the ISC president. Don't feel sad! Celebrate your accomplishments, Most Improved GPA and a strong sisterhood are nothing to feel sad about or to sneeze at!! YOUR CHAPTER IS NOT WEAK!!!!

gammita · #5 05-28-2003, 03:26 AM

Stay positive

and be proud of your sorority no matter what. My sorority currently has 13 active members.

MTSUGURL · #6 05-28-2003, 04:19 AM

There is a chapter at my university that I've heard insulting things about from some of the "top-tier" sororities. I've read things about them on here from members of other chapters. You know who I thought looked absolutely horrible? The people making the comments. The chapters that these people belonged to. Because of these comments, I was determined to get to know some of the girls and form my own opinion of them. I so far have absolutely LOVED what I have seen and learned. I hope this is somewhat encouraging to you. People are mean and point out the supposed negative aspects of others because they think it makes them look better by comparison. They are more often than not sadly mistaken.

aephi alum · #7 05-28-2003, 08:35 AM

My chapter was in kind of a similar situation numbers-wise; we returned for rush one year with 10, count 'em, ten sisters, while the other sororities all returned with 70-80 sisters. (My chapter is up to around 35 now.)

We had a few naysayers who tried to say that we weren't a "real" sorority because we were local and there were so few of us - but we had a strong sisterhood, we've consistently had above average sorority GPA, and we pulled off a charity fundraiser on the same scale as the bigger sororities. That put an end to the comments

Take care, and hang in there... let them be as catty as they like, it just reflects badly on them, not you or SDT.

White_Chocolate · #8 05-28-2003, 09:10 AM

Being on an already anti-Greek campus. . .
other sororities have pretty much
made bad comments about others
before rush starts to hinder girls
from becoming a member of another sorority
It's a low blow.
It's also immature.
If the only way that you can get girls
to join your sorority is by downplaying the others,
something is to be said about your chapter and your members

Karma has finally hit our campus
Maybe yours is next

AlphaXiLuckyMe · #9 05-28-2003, 09:38 AM

I am currently the President of my chapter and we will be coming back next fall with 14 girls. Total on my campus is 80 and the other three sororities will be returning with 50 or 60 members. It is EXTREMELY difficult to compete with chapters that are six times your size...but you know what? We do it, and we do it well.

My chapter is the youngest on my campus, therefore giving us the disadvantage of no "history". We were founded in the early 80s while the next youngest was founded in the 1920s.

My chapter has told itself time and time again that numbers don't matter, and while it is hard to not hit quota or how it takes EVERY girl to make every function a success, we think that this is giving us such a unique experience none of us would trade it for anything.

The truth is, numbers DO matter. It makes it easier to do events, to have fewer duties, and people simply want to join a house that has numbers. But think about everything that you are gaining by being in a house where your voice counts, where people will listen to your ideas, and where you truly know every one of your sisters.

This will be my fourh year in my house and I have learned that it doesn't matter how many girls appear on your composite, it is the experiences and the sisterhood that truly matters.

astroAPhi · #10 05-28-2003, 10:38 AM

I agree with AlphaXi that numbers matter to a certain point. If everyone has to hold 5 offices, things just plain get too stressful, especially if you're a national and are required to have a certain number of offices filled. It is easier to throw events with 40 people instead of 10.

However, 35 girls is a good size, irregardless of how big the other chapters are. I personally wouldn't want to be in a chapter larger than 50 people (definitely NOT KNOCKING people in larger groups... I work better in smaller groups, hence why I went to a school with only 2000 undergrads), and my chapter has 37 returning for Formal Recruitment.

Be proud of your chapter SDTSarah. People like MTSUGURL (who continually impresses me with her maturity... God I wish there was an Alpha Phi chapter at MTSU!) know what's up. If someone bashes you for being small, other people will hear it, and think poorly of them.

I hear you on the newspaper making fun of Greek intramural teams though.

People rip on my sorority and my boyfriend's fraternity because we don't emphasize athletics as much as other groups, and it hurts sometimes. However, I like to think that we're a lot more well-rounded, as you probably are too!

KappaKittyCat · #11 05-28-2003, 11:00 AM

I've been there. And I know how much it sucks, how frustrating it is. How it seems like you do all the work and other chapters get all the glory. We've worked our butts off and we're still the smallest group on campus: we have 19. The other sororities have 29 and 43. We really need to have a huge rush next year, 'cuz we'll have 10 seniors graduating in June, 2004.

But you know what? We're the best-known sorority on campus. Everybody knows who we are. We have the most well-known and widely-respected philanthropy of all the groups. Even the GDIs can tell you that Kappa supports Harbor House (a local domestic violence shelter). On any given day, there are at least three Kappas wearing letters. The freshmen didn't realize until Formal Recruitment in January that there weren't that many of us. And a small chapter can still do things. We have hugely successful philanthropy events. We took second in Greek Week this year. We're a force on this campus, all 19 of us.

Personally, I feel that I'm getting quite a sorority experience for my buck. I've grown as an individual, as a sister, and as a leader in the past three years. Yeah, it's hard, and yeah, I don't have some of the easy things that go on with having a bigger chapter. But we all work hard for what we have, and that makes us appreciate it a thousand times more.

And as for the people in the big chapters who are making fun of you, think about this: If they're taking shots at you, that means that they must consider you a threat. Just keep your chins up, focus on what you do well, and accentuate all the great opportunities that your chapter of SDT can giive the women on your campus.

RedFox · #12 05-28-2003, 11:04 AM

Being the center of attention regarding bashing of people in a sorority is just plain immature and should be ignored...you all joined a sorority the same reason as everyone else, they are immature and insecure if they feel the need to make themselves feel better to make fun of you all! You sound like a strong woman with great goals and aspirations for SDT. Forget them and just be glad your apart of something you love. They aren't worth your time, good luck and don't be sad...HAKUNA MATATA

lol

phisigduchesscv · #13 05-28-2003, 11:10 AM

Sarah,

I know it's hard but as KappaKittyCat said they must view you as a threat if they are bad mouthing you so take it as a backwards compliment. And like White Chocolate said Karma will come back on them at some point.

There is something that my Division Collegiate President has told us and I think this is so true "Bigger isn't better but better leads to bigger". Just concentrate on being the best sorority around and women will see that and want to join you. Remember each sister joining as at least one friend they think would be a great sister make sure that they talk up the sorority to them, if they don't want to hassle with formal rush maybe you can get them at COB. If each of your sisters invited at least one friend to join then you would double your chapter size.

If your chapter can afford it and you're allowed to do so you might take out a big ad in the school paper and list all the things you do (fun, philanthropic, awards you've won, etc).

Good luck,
Carolyn

SDTSarah · #14 05-28-2003, 07:57 PM

Thank you guys so much! I was having a bit of a moment of weakness, but it helps to know that there are other people who've had the same experiences. Thank you!

MTSUGURL · #15 05-28-2003, 08:04 PM

Thank you for the awesome compliment! I wish we did too - I have gotten so much encouragement, advice and info from Alpha Phi alumnae. You gals are the coolest!

Quote:

Originally posted by astroAPhi
I agree with AlphaXi that numbers matter to a certain point. If everyone has to hold 5 offices, things just plain get too stressful, especially if you're a national and are required to have a certain number of offices filled. It is easier to throw events with 40 people instead of 10.

However, 35 girls is a good size, irregardless of how big the other chapters are. I personally wouldn't want to be in a chapter larger than 50 people (definitely NOT KNOCKING people in larger groups... I work better in smaller groups, hence why I went to a school with only 2000 undergrads), and my chapter has 37 returning for Formal Recruitment.

Be proud of your chapter SDTSarah. People like MTSUGURL (who continually impresses me with her maturity... God I wish there was an Alpha Phi chapter at MTSU!) know what's up. If someone bashes you for being small, other people will hear it, and think poorly of them.

I hear you on the newspaper making fun of Greek intramural teams though. People rip on my sorority and my boyfriend's fraternity because we don't emphasize athletics as much as other groups, and it hurts sometimes. However, I like to think that we're a lot more well-rounded, as you probably are too!