Baby mommas with boys more likely to marry the father

Honeykiss1974 · #1 05-06-2003, 07:03 PM

It's a Boy! Will You Marry Me?
Tue May 6,10:05 AM ET Add Oddly Enough - Reuters to My Yahoo!

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A woman who has a boy out of wedlock is much more likely to marry the father than if she has a girl, U.S. economists reported on Monday.

The study, by two University of Washington economists, suggests not only that men may value sons more, but that little girls are more likely to grow up poor.

"It may be that parents just feel more strongly that a boy needs a father around or it could be that it's easier to find a husband if your child is a boy," associate economics professor Elaina Rose said in a statement.

She and colleague Shelly Lundberg, writing in the May issue of the journal Demography, had earlier found that fathers of sons spend more money on their families and worked more additional hours than the fathers of girls.

For this study, they analyzed data from a national study of 600 children born to single mothers and found a woman was 42 times more likely to marry the father of her son than she was to marry the father if the child was a girl.

Unmarried mothers of boys were 11 percent more likely to find a husband -- even a husband who was not the child's biological father -- than those with girls.

Because children from single-parent homes are more likely to be poor, this is bad news for girls said Lundberg, who is director of the university's Center for Research on Families.

"Some men probably see a biological son as their immortality," Rose said. "It's a little 'me.' "

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WHOA....

Steeltrap · #2 05-06-2003, 07:24 PM

...but not always true. My sister's "baby daddy" (which wasn't the word you used in the mid-60s, when my nephew was born) never married her.

ClassyLady · #3 05-06-2003, 10:01 PM

Maybe I'm crazy, but I think ALL children need a father. Girls need some image of what a man is too. Hasn't it been shown, in some study, that girls who grow up without a father or some strong male figure in their lives are more likely to be sexually active at a younger age and have children out of wedlock?

Honeykiss1974 · #4 05-06-2003, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ClassyLady
Maybe I'm crazy, but I think ALL children need a father. Girls need some image of what a man is too. Hasn't it been shown, in some study, that girls who grow up without a father or some strong male figure in their lives are more likely to be sexually active at a younger age and have children out of wedlock?

I read that statement too like "HUH"?

Girls don't need a father figure?

markmywords · #5 05-06-2003, 11:15 PM

i don't think that they are saying that girls don't need father figures. i think they are saying that the perception among some males is that boys need father figures moreso than girls.

just look at how certain parts of society put the black man on a pedestal even if he is doing wrong. back in the day many black women did not report sex crimes b/c "you don't bring a black man down he has enough enemies."

also in many societies, i.e. China, boys are more valued than girls because they continue the family name and bring in a daughter, whereas girls leave the family.

i'm glad that someone is reporting on this so that we can learn to pay more attention to our little girls.

Gyrl7 · #6 05-07-2003, 12:46 PM

I talked to a "friend/associate" of mine and he was about to leave his baby mama, until he found out she was having a boy

. I was really annoyed, im like why can't you just stay because she is having a baby and not because she is having a "boy".

The I asked the tired fool was he gonna marry her, and he said no! Now she is good enough to have your son, but not good enough to marry???................

mccoyred · #7 05-07-2003, 01:51 PM

This is also why women RAISE their daughters. WE have to be strong because if Daddy or StepDaddy wasn't around then we get the message that you can't count on BabyDaddy to be around either. A sista's gotta do what a sista's gotta do.

Quote:

Originally posted by ClassyLady
Maybe I'm crazy, but I think ALL children need a father. Girls need some image of what a man is too. Hasn't it been shown, in some study, that girls who grow up without a father or some strong male figure in their lives are more likely to be sexually active at a younger age and have children out of wedlock?

9dstpm · #8 05-08-2003, 08:16 AM

That's really interesting because I have a boy and I gave birth to him out of wedlock. Now, his father didn't want to have anything to do with me until he found out that it was a boy and he did right for like, umm, 2 seconds before shaking the spot. My son will be 8 in two weeks and the only time he's ever seen his father was in a casket. (He passed away two yrs. ago this month)

However, I had no problems with getting attention as well as marriage proposals from men esp. older ones because I had a son, and now that I think back on it, it was b/c they felt like he needed a man around the house.

Not to say that I had success with marriage. After we divorced, my ex hubby told someone (and it came back to me) that he wished that I had had a girl when he met me b/c he couldn't deal "with some other ni@*a's son." Wish he said all that before we married instead of faking the funk with me AND my son. Bastid!!

Now, my current hubby loves my son as if he was his own and he has made plans to adopt him by the end of the year. You should see what he's gotten him recently. He bought the child a shirt that says, "my daddy's a Kappa!" it's so precious and our son wants to wear it everywhere.

But I agree with ClassyLady when she said that ALL children need a father in the home.

FeeFee · #9 05-08-2003, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 9dstpm
Now, my current hubby loves my son as if he was his own and he has made plans to adopt him by the end of the year. You should see what he's gotten him recently. He bought the child a shirt that says, "my daddy's a Kappa!" it's so precious and our son wants to wear it everywhere.

Now that is what I call a GOOD MAN! The T-shirt thing is soooo sweet, awwwwww.

iceandivy · #10 05-13-2003, 05:07 PM

My son is 3, and will be 4 in July... I think that men are more protective of their daughters, but are more proud of having a son. Not being a father to one... just HAVING one. Something about being able to say, "my son," makes them feel like more of a man. Strange, but true.

If a man is going to stay around, he will stay around. If he is only marrying you because your kid has a penis, what do you want him for anyway? If he's not there because he loves you and the child you all created, why keep him... and MARRY HIM? Please...

You've already made one mistake. You had a child without the proper family structure in place. Your child isn't the mistake, you just made a mistake by having one out of wedlock. Why make another one by marrying a man who wouldn't have married you if you had a baby girl? (If you don't consider it a mistake, then you aren't worried about haing a male influence around anyway... you chose to be a single mom.)

There's nothing that I can think of that would make me marry my son's father. He is more interested in me than in our son. That has more to do with him that with the sex of our kid. If a guy is a jerk, he is a jerk. Whoever marries the jerk who is marrying them based on the sex of their kid, can't possibly expect that relationship to be solid.

I know some ladies just want to be married to somebody. I guess I am just not one of those people. My son's dad is physically attractive, and would probably marry me in a heartbeat... but like I said, a jerk is a jerk. I don't want to be married THAT badly! Good wedding pictures and a ring aren't worth being miserable. Kids need dad's or strong male figures, that is true. But they also need strong mothers who can tell the difference between a lifemate and just a mate.

The guy I date loves my son and I know if I had a girl, he'd love her just the same because he loves me, and my child is a part of me, no matter what the sex.

That is my 15 cents.

Eva