Emotional Dilemma Advice

[dzandiloo]

I have a question for the locals who do their own rush out there. I am working with a local organization that just completed their first rush. They had some very outstanding women come to their parties, and made the tough decision to limit their pledge class so that they would only double their current membership (they started with 20 members, and extended 23 bids).

Here's the problem. How do you deal with (a) the natural emotions that come with having to turn someone away, and (b) phone calls and e-mails from those women (and their mothers) asking why?

This is a brand new group, and they are trying to build a strong foundation-hopefully for national expansion in the future. They don't want to be overwhelmed in their infancy (either administratively or emotionally)--and are just learning the ropes of this sort of recruitment. But somehow, when the decision is made not to extend a bid to someone, it seems a little more personal for them than it does for the nationals who can vote, and "select" so many more women, and then rely on bid matching to ensure an equitable result.

Anyway, I'm just trying to help them cope, while assuring them that it is OK to celebrate the 23 wonderful new women who have joined them (and they are thrilled, but I am sensing some understandable guilt). I'm not really familiar with this problem, since I have only been involved with panhellenic rush before, so I'm hoping my trusty GC Local Sisters can give me some insight. Thanks in advance for your input...

[chideltjen]

this is usually a tough position for us as well. however, we can't dwell on the fact that we turned away a girl and wonder "what will she do" or "how will she react" otherwise you will end up with girls that may not be quite what you want.
But be honest, you have reached your quota as you put it. If the girls are stellar but you don't want to take too many, ask them to come back next semester. However, if the girl wasn't that stellar/had a bad rep/wasn't what you were looking for, spare them that detail. We had a girl rush a few semesters back that really liked boys... if you know what i mean. We didn't feel she would bring a good image to the house, so we called her up and said "thank you for attending our recruitment events this spring. unfortunately, the house will not be inviting you back to our invite only event on [insert date]." If they ask why, and you really don't want to tell her why, just say it was confidential. It's a lil harsh, but life will go on.
But your situation sounds a lil more relaxed... you don't want to take too many new members because you would be overwhelmed or something like that. I wouldn't worry about "being selective" and whatnot. If the group got that many girls in their first rush, it can only grow from there.
I hope this helps.
good luck.