A Question for the ladies of the NPHC(not for the sensitive)

DELTAQTE · #1 06-18-2002, 05:24 PM

Ok I HOPE and PRAY that we can all be mature here, but if the moderators of our forum think it's getting "hot in hurr" then I by all means close the thread.

I was looking at some of the other forums and one over on Rho Lane caught my eye. One Lady of Sgrho asked her sorors if it is their fault that they are not more well known. So that got me to thinking:

Is there a competition or jealousy between the larger sororities and the smaller ones? Why is it that if you have more numbers that the typical response is:

"Oh they just have more numbers because it's too easy to join"
"People are just following the trend"
"They don't know about us, so that's why they joined XYZ"
"They have bigger numbers, but we really are a family"

I'm really trying to understand why all the hostility, I hope I get some educated responses.

Much love,

QTE

AKA2D '91 · #2 06-18-2002, 06:40 PM

QTE,

I think you should add "people or individuals" to your initial question ("Is there competition/jealousy..."), because it is not our sororities that have "issues", but the PEOPLE in these sororities that have "issues".

Happydaysf91 · #3 06-18-2002, 08:57 PM

For all purposes....I think there is competition amongst each of our organizations. Why? I have no earthly idea since we are all uplifting 'our' community and a lot of our platforms/targets are the same. Maybe because it's healthy and it keeps us all on our toes????

But let's be real......competition has been going on since the beginning of time. We hear all the time who was the first established/incorporated sorority; who's the largest; who has a 'constitutional bond' and who doesn't; who is the tightest because they know one another and don't cross 100's of women on a line; who steps the best; whose a member of 'our' organizations (famous/non-famous members); whose process is longer/whose shorter/whose paper, who does the most community service, whose history is the 'tightest'; who's the most popular and etc.

Yes, most of the time it is done in fun....but a lot of time it seems like we are competing/jealous of one another. Especially to outsiders who hear such. And of course you are going to 'pub' your organization, but do you have to put down the others to make yourself look good? (Something to ponder). A lot of us do.

Now to the outsiders....Greek Unity does exist....don't get it twisted. Most of us realize that we are 'people' first.

Have a wonderful, blessed day!

DOVE1920 · #4 06-18-2002, 09:15 PM

I agree with AKA2D '91 when I say that such comments are reflections of members not the organizations. If they have negative comments about other organizations then they must be insecure about their reasons for joining their organization. I don't feel the need to justify why I chose Zeta and why others chose a different road. Is it possible for XYZ sorority, Inc. to have a line of 50+ and each and every member be dedicated to the principles of the sorority? I think so! Why do we assume that large organizations have no cohesiveness? Why do we assume small organizations are wack? (for lack of a better term :P). I think thats a million dollar question.

Tinese · #5 06-18-2002, 11:11 PM

I agree with you Dove1920.

Tinese

SGRHO Boston, MA

12dn94dst · #6 06-19-2002, 12:59 AM

Personally I don't think this conversation is going to provide the answers we need simply because most of those who reply are confused about this issue as well. The rest will either read & not post or post & avoid the question entirely.

There's always going to be competition. All 4 of us are pretty much pulling from the same pool of women: college educated & public service oriented leaders. Friendly competition is fine, but some folks can't take a joke, some folks just say stuff to make themselves feel better, and some folks simple type before they think, as has been the case with a number of threads.

I was going to take the time to call out folks, but I decided against it. What good would it do? There are Sorors, AKAs, Zetas and SGRhos that have said some JACKED UP stuff, especially lately, and it's messed up that it's the same group of 5 or 6 total that don't know that "I love my organization" DOES NOT MEAN "I can put down/disrespect/make snide comments about your organization."

All of us, at one point or another, have claimed to be elitist. Being elite does not come from being first or large, or consitiutionally bound, or small. It does not come from having small lines or large lines. Nor is it validated by those aspects of our organizations. The fact of the matter is ALL of us are elite. None of us should slight another organization to prove or explain otherwise. Good natured joking among friends is one thing. But some of the comments that prompted this conversation are quite another...and quite embarassing.

Bottom line, you can have ORGANIZATIONAL PRIDE all day long, as you should. However, don't let your pride cause you to INSULT others who are not in your orgs. There is a difference between the "dissing in chants" that we all do and some of the derogatory remarks that I have seen on Greekchat.

DELTAQTE · #7 06-19-2002, 04:40 AM

Yeah I have to agree, it seems that certain people in organizations are upset, and I want to know why.

For example, in the Sgrho thread "Why is it that", I almost spilled my juice when it was mentioned in a sarcastic tone that noone paid respects to a lady of sgrho who had passed, then someone pointed out that it was not made KNOWN and so we didn't know. But all I'm thinking is "so it's ok to act hostile just because people didn't know"? I'm sorry, but I would of had no ill will towards any of you if you had not posted about our soror. To put the dead into it is kinda morbid to me, IMO.

You got folks wanting to leave GC over just TALKING about the issue, so I ask again, why the hostility? Cause this just can't be over competition. I think some feelings were hurt and that's how it started.

QTE

RedAngel · #8 06-19-2002, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
[Bottom line, you can have ORGANIZATIONAL PRIDE all day long, as you should. However, don't let your pride cause you to INSULT others who are not in your orgs. There is a difference between the "dissing in chants" that we all do and some of the derogatory remarks that I have seen on Greekchat. [/B]

I agree with you Soror 100%. Outside of the "dissing in chants"--there is enough negativity out there without us contributing to it.

Albany Alumnae Chapter
Delta Sigma Theta
11-Spr'96

Happydaysf91 · #9 06-19-2002, 09:54 AM

I know...this is a little off subject...BUT....

I don't think we should even diss in chants! That's just my personal opinion. What does the public see? Also, a lot of chants lead to these stereotypes.

I heard the other day that one group during a step show called another group paper and threw paper at them? Where's the grad advisor/pan council/administration.? Do you think the women that are in that organization (the ones that got dissed) are really going to be down with the ones who did this????? NO!

Yeah, some chants are cute....but I've heard more than just your 'AKA is what a Delta ain't....what a Zeta wanta to be.....' kind of chants where people are just poking fun. I've heard chants (sorors included) where people are calling folk out of their names/ talking about folks history/ saying some orgs. should be fraternities and etc. That's not cool! And even though we think its in fun, some time it goes too far.

Just crazy! If you have the chance...talk to your undergrads about this. I know when I hear chants that are very, very, disrespectful to me, I let people know -- Your letters, community service and Sisterhood should speak loud enough for themselves. If they don't....you need to fix that...not talk about others in a chant!!!!

Discogoddess · #10 06-19-2002, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Happydaysf91
I know...this is a little off subject...BUT....

-- Your letters, community service and Sisterhood should speak loud enough for themselves. If they don't....you need to fix that...not talk about others in a chant!!!!

Soror (my psychic twin), I soooo agree with you on that!

RHOyalty 22 · #11 06-19-2002, 07:13 PM

My fellow greek sisters,

If I had the answer to this question, I would sell it and make a GRIP! Anyway, I think that it's safe to say that we've all experienced some "hateration" no matter what the org. I think (and I may get blasted for this, but what the heck) all of this starts from the catty nature that a lot of women have! Some women seem to talk about each other like dogs! (don't get mad because if it is not you, you know somebody that does it) From skin color, to hair, to body type, to everything under the sun! So my thing is that we have to first be comfortable as women and learn to look at each other as the beautiful black creatures that we are and then and only then can the pettiness stop!

For the record- The thread that my sorhor started (in my opinion) was not intended to offend anyone, she was merely posing a question that quite frankly needs to be addressed amongst sorhors. To those that were offended you have my deepest apology.

Just my .22 cents!

12dn94dst · #12 06-19-2002, 11:16 PM

Something has been puzzling me lately. What is up with the "retaliation" threads? I mean, what's the point?

AKA2D '91 · #13 06-19-2002, 11:40 PM

Why not post the "call outs"? I'm curious to see what and who is on this "list".

Yeah, today, I've "retaliated", so sue me. I do not appreciate blatant FALSE accusations (made publically) being thrown my way or my fellow moderator's way. You would get the point if the tables were turned and "DST moderators" was used and NOT "AKA moderators".

This is ONLY GC...it's cyberspace

, but many are incarcerated and have been killed because someone FALSELY accused them of an act. IT'S THE PRINCIPALITY OF THE SITUATION!

Let's not pretend we are soooo removed from this....

12dn94dst · #14 06-20-2002, 01:16 AM

I feel calling folks out would be counter-productive. I said I wasn't going to do it in my first reply, and I'm not. But if I did, there would be Deltas and AKAs and Zetas and SGRhos on the list. I don't discriminate.

This is just a dialogue to find out WHY there is such hostility around here and WHY people feel uncomfortable on some boards. We're not here to discuss particular incidents or to avoid the original question.

I just think it's funny for there to be an important message for folks not to reply & stoop to the level of others but retaliation threads are created after that. And if it's "ONLY GC...it's cyberspace

" why bother with doing either? Why waste energy responding to the ramblings of people in cyberspace who are not worth it?

I'm not referring to one incident or one organization, but the one you're talking about is included. All I know is what was posted on both sides AND that before the forum software was changed, it was possible for a moderator to edit a signature. I'm not saying it was done, just saying it was possible. If the tables were turned, I know the issue would have been resolved shortly after it happened. It appears to me that it hasn't and it is still a sore spot. Whether y'all want to sort that out is not for me to decide. But if it's the principle you're concerned with, I would think all parties involved would discuss it with each other rather than making remarks to their own sorors.

I don't think we are pretending that we're SOOO removed from this. If we were removed from it, there wouldn't be an issue to discuss becasue it wouldn't be OUR problem. N'est pas?

Ideal08 · #15 06-20-2002, 11:19 AM

Why not post in all forums? Maybe some people just don't have the time. Maybe some people don't find all topics interesting. Maybe some people (like myself) came to GC to meet SORORS and that's it. So not posting in other forums to me is not that serious, it's not what I came to do.

Why do people feel uncomfortable or unwelcome? I don't know? What can we do to make you feel welcome? Should we quote everybody and everything? Maybe we didn't find what you said to be interesting. I mean, what type of welcome are you looking for? What can I say to make you feel more welcome and enjoy your stay more? It's a chat board, people, that's all. I have posted MANY topics that have gotten NO PLAY! Did I feel ignored? Nope, figured peeps wasn't feelin my topic. Move on.

Why the hostility? I'll tell you exactly why I'm hostile right about now. I don't appreciate people bringing up events from the past (Endroad). I don't appreciate it being put out there that an AKA Moderator edited someone's signature when it DID NOT HAPPEN. And if it did, where, pray tell, is the edited post. Because even with the OLD software, it would STILL tell if a post is edited. So I don't think it's cool to put something like that out there like that. That too is evidently a sore spot since it was even brought up, cuz it happened in the past as well. But if you felt that way, why not PM somebody and find out why? Why wait until the drama rears it's ugly head and put the AKA moderators out there like that with an ACCUSATION, not a FACT. While you all may not "feel" me, to me, it's a SERIOUS MATTER. Did I try to rectify the situation and get some clarity? YES I DID! Did I receive a response? NO I DIDN'T. So, with no communication, how quickly would you have resolved that situation? It was important enough to be posted what was allegedly done, but not important enough to give a response when called on your accusation? Whatever. When it was said what the AKA MODERATORS did, that made it personal, and that's how I took it, and that's why I'm lightweight upset.

Why hostility on other parts? I'm not really sure since I can only speak for myself. My opinion, however, leans toward insecurities and the need to feel accepted (that is evidently not being met).

(And please don't take MY opinions as the opinions of my sorors. This is how I feel.)