help! What am I missing?

deltaphi94 · #1 02-13-2002, 04:04 PM

This is a long post, and I'm sorry for that. If any of you have any ideas for me, PLEASE pass them along. They would be so much appreciated! Thanks!!

I went alum in 1997, and I haven't been able to be very active to this point... not that I haven't wanted to be active as an alum. I lived in the town where I went to school for a while after graduating, so I was somewhat involved then, but I have since moved a couple of times.

I moved to my present location last January, and I have been trying to find a way to get involved again since then. I've been an at home mom since I came here, and I haven't met many people I'm not related to in the past year. So, I thought I would contact the closest alumnae chapters and meet some sisters in the area.... along with some other things.

Here's what I've done.

I found a church, and offered to help with what ever they need me to do. From there, I have been asked to join a children's ministry team. I did, only to learn that we MIGHT meet 4 times in the next year, and that's pushing it. I volunteered to help at the church offices, and they said I would hear from them within a few days. Almost a month later, no news. BTW, I am one of the youngest adults in my church. The next closest to my age is either 18 and fresh out of high school or 14 years older than me.

I have a son in preschool, so I signed up to be a room mom. The only time I get called or asked to come is if there's a party that day.

The room mother found a few other at home moms, and we thought it would be a good idea to try to form a play group. That was brought up around October, and it just hasn't happened. So, I go to all the class functions, thinking maybe I'll get to know some of the other parents... and possibly meet some people closer to my age. Turns out I'm one of the 2 or 3 who are not in their 40's.

So, back to alumnae involvement...

I found 2 chapters to contact. One of them is maybe 30 to 45 minutes from me, and the other is close to 2 hours away. I sent email to both chapters' presidents, and waited a while. I posted on the GLO website message board that I was looking for ways to get involved, and was told to do what I had already done with contacting the chapters.

After about 6 months, I finally heard from both chapters. I'm more interested in the one that's closer to my home, and the woman from that chapter told me there would be a meeting in January. She said she would send the particulars as to where and when. So, I told her I would love to know, and I would plan to attend. Gave her my home address, phone number, and all the other things she wanted to get in touch with me about the meeting. So, it's mid February, and I never heard from her again.

I checked into the chapter association, only to be told there isn't one now.

I'm so disappointed. A few days ago, I contacted my GLO's Exec. Offices to try again. The alumnae involvement person sends me an email saying how sorry she is that I haven't had any luck. (This is really bad because there's also a push to increase involvement for the anniversary we have this year...)
Anyway, she sent a volunteerism form that I could fill out to work with the organization (chapter adviser, etc.).

The chapters from the closest schools have now closed.

As I read through the application, I notice it says you must be actively involved with an alumnae chapter and in good standing.

OK.... I have had NO luck at all getting involved with an alumnae chapter, so how can I volunteer if I have to be in good standing and active with an alumnae chapter in order to volunteer?

I should say that most of the people I have met since I've been here are very nice, but it would be nice to meet a few people outside of my family, and I've run out of ideas. We don't have a gym in the area to my knowledge, and it's more logical for me to stay home once day care cost is included.

Have I missed anything?

GammaPhiBabe · #2 02-13-2002, 04:34 PM

I'm an advisor for the chapter here and I'm not affiliated with an alumnae group. There is no alumnae group nearby. I say go ahead and fill out the volunteer form and send it in. I'm sure they would love to have your help. You sound very enthusiastic about your sorority. Your headquarters will know that there isn't a local alumnae chapter for you to be active with and they will probably be very understanding about it.

Also, have you thought about joining the Junior League? I've met a lot of great women through my JL involvement and while it is somewhat time-consuming at first, it's a great way to get involved in your community. Check out www.ajli.org for more information.

Good luck!

PM me if you want to chat... I went alum in '98, so we're pretty close in age.

deltaphi94 · #3 02-13-2002, 05:48 PM

Thanks! I sent you a PM. It's sooo nice to find someone close to my age!!

I checked... the closest Jr. League is an hour away....

Tom Earp · #4 02-13-2002, 07:15 PM

Not knowing where you are and what organization, have you tried to find out if other Alums are in teh area? If so, why not start a Local Area Alum Assoc? It is tuff but try working on it is you Soro. has a list of local Alums!

deltaphi94 · #5 02-13-2002, 08:46 PM

Tom....

I'm a Phi Mu, and I live in southern Ohio. They have 2 alum chapters in this part of the state, but one meets close to 2 hours from me. The other meets about 30 to 45 minutes away. I've contacted both chapters, but I am more interested in the closer of the 2, since I don't really want to drive at least 2 hours to meet with the other one. Unfortunately, the closer chapter was planning to meet last month, and either didn't let me know when or they just didn't meet.

We had a chapter association, but it never really got off the ground from what I understand.

When I contacted Exec. Offices, they kind of pushed the chapter assoc. It seems they didn't know we no longer have one. So, I guess I just need to find another approach, and I have no idea where to start.

FuzzieAlum · #6 02-13-2002, 10:28 PM

If the closest alum group has folded, you could get addresses of local alums from HQ and restart it. But I don't know if you're looking for that much of a challenge!

deltaphi94 · #7 02-13-2002, 10:43 PM

It isn't that the closest alum group has folded. It took me several months to contact them, and I've only been able to reach the president once. Since then, I've heard nothing.

My chapter association folded before it got started.

33girl · #8 02-13-2002, 11:27 PM

deltaphi94:

So you have chapter associations AND regional alum chapters? (Yay Phi Mu - I think that's how everyone should do it)

As an alum chapter president, I can vouch that the woman who didn't contact you probably just forgot - honestly, I would forget my head if it wasn't attached! Try contacting her again and reminding her. Alum chapters often only meet 4-5 times a year - it is far different from collegiate membership.

Re the association, I am assuming it doesn't have to be geographically based since everyone is from the same collegiate chapter? Try emailing some of the sisters you graduated or pledged with (you can often find this info through your school's alumni web site) and see if y'all can get together and get the association going again. If I am totally misinterpreting what an alum association does please forgive me!

As far as being "in good standing" to volunteer, all I think they mean by that is you don't owe $$$ to HQ from your collegiate years or have any unresolved disciplinary actions. I've never heard of having to be in an alum chapter to be a national volunteer - sometimes it is just not geographically feasible.

Well, good luck and I hope I helped!

deltaphi94 · #9 02-14-2002, 12:28 AM

I just had so much trouble tracking the president of the local alum group down that when I didn't hear anything else from her, I was totally thrown.

As for the "in good standing"... my understanding is that it refers to financial balances owed, and I have no problems there. My confusion springs from reading on the application to volunteer that I have to be an active member of an alumnae chapter. So, my thought was....

HELLO? I contacted this person because I've had so much trouble hooking up with the alumnae chapter, and I would love to be involved again. So, she sends me something through which I could work with the org, but I have to be an active alum to do so. How does that work???

valkyrie · #10 02-14-2002, 12:30 AM

Hey, I feel your pain! For a while, I was trying to volunteer at a million different places and nobody would even bother to return my calls. What is that about -- I'm trying to work for you for free!

I say, just contact the president of the nearby alumnae group again, just to say that you are still interested and that you would love to get involved and help the chapter. I had a similar situation (where someone I had contacted didn't respond at first) so I emailed her again and it turned out that she had forgotten, and she always quickly responded to me after that.

I also think you should just send in the volunteer form, maybe with a little note explaining how you are *trying* to get involved with an alumnae chapter. Really, what's the worst thing that could happen? They will probably be understanding of your situation and thrilled to have you as a volunteer.

You know what? Maybe if you're still having trouble, you could organize some sort of internet alumnae chapter of Phi Mu (if there isn't one already). I think DZ has an internet based chapter, and I know that AGD has chats regularly -- I think that would be a wonderful way to connect with sisters everywhere without being limited by geography.

deltaphi94 · #11 02-14-2002, 03:17 PM

I'm going to try again with the local alum group.... I know it's a small one, and that's what I like. I just have to track down her address again.

I love the idea of an internet group! The Phi Mu website has a message board, which is really nice, but it isn't any kind of chat forum... mostly rush/ recruitment.

I'm sure they would be open to allowing me to volunteer, but I'm not sure how much I would be able to do with limited ability to travel and no active collegiate chapters in the area. I emailed the woman that manages all that a few days ago to ask, but I haven't gotten a reply yet.

I'll go twittle my thumbs some more....

dzandiloo · #12 04-15-2002, 04:20 PM

I know it's been a couple of months since the last post on this, but I thought I'd chime in. DZ does have an official internet alum group...it's Yahoo!Groups based. This may have been addressed on GC before, but I'll just tell you a little about us:

We are recognized by our National--we will have a voting delegate at convention this summer. We have aver 125 dues paying alumnae members, and almost 450 registered participants on the list. Dues are not required to participate, but dues paying members get privileges (can hold offices, buy the official SS t-shirt at a discount, participate in Secret Sister exchanges, vote in polls, etc.).

We have a wealth of members from Hawaii to Germany and all points between. Our oldest member was initiated into DZ in the 20's, our youngest was initiated last semester. Collegians are allowed to join in on the fun (although they can't be official dues paying members).

Before a person can join, they must fill out a questionnaire, and their membership in DZ is confirmed with headquarters. Only those in good standing are allowed to join. ALso, the list is restricted--only approved members can view the posts--which is nice, so we don't have to worry about cyber-stalkers.

We do fundraisers for philanthropies, have regional Surfing Sister gatherings, sponsor workshops at conventions, and support DZs all over the world.

We post Questions of the Week to keep the conversation lively-although it isn't necessary...we had over 1800 posts last month. We have a monthly chat. Any subject is up for discussion--from TV shows to marital problems to weather to prayer requests. We are surprislingly sensitive to differences of opinion, and just basically have a great time.

ANyway--there's so much more to it, but I don't want to go crazy here. I hope you have some luck getting involved with Phi Mu locally, but I'd really encourage you to get an Internet alum chapter going (it's really easy to set one up on Yahoo if you can learn to ignore the advertising!). Let us know how things are going!

Tom Earp · #13 04-15-2002, 04:41 PM

Andi, a good point! By the by where is your DH ( HUBBY? ) a LXA from?

Deltaphi, you say So. Ohio! Are there any Chapters near you?

If so, check with them and see if they have Alum group, and if so join them. If you have a Chapter near by, maybe you can offer your services as and Advisor!

Young Kids always need guidence and a mature shoulder to talk to, not their parents!

Best of luck and keep plugging along, something will turn up!

I have 2 things in my Life, My Business and My Fraternity and not sure sometimes in which order! As The Founder , I am always working to get My Guys Off their butts but it is not easy sometimes!

Naught Without Labor is part of one of our Opem Mottos!

It is so true!

deltaphi94 · #14 04-15-2002, 07:04 PM

Well, I have had a few changes, although I still don't know anyone! I've been in semi-regular contact with the closest alumnae chapter's president. Which, BTW, turned out to be closer than I thought. They had a Founder's Day celebration, but I was unable to attend. However, the president and I are working to arrange another outing in the near future. I'm very excited!

I got an application from Nationals to volunteer as a chapter adviser, but I have to actually jion an alumnae chapter first. Things are looking better in that respect, but the closest
chapter(s) have all closed.

I did find something in Yahoo's listings for Phi Mu groups, but there are only a handful of members. I think there was 1 post to it a year or so ago, and that was all there was.

I'm hoping to get more involved with my home chapter, and it looks like there's an excellent chance. They're in trouble and looking for help with recruitment in the fall. I'm going to visit next weekend, but I don't know if I'll be able to make recruitment. (It's about a 4 hour drive from here, and I don't have a sitter, so... I'll have to wait and see.)

Thanks for all the great ideas!

dzandiloo · #15 04-15-2002, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by deltaphi94
I did find something in Yahoo's listings for Phi Mu groups, but there are only a handful of members. I think there was 1 post to it a year or so ago, and that was all there was.

Deltaphi-
Try to find out who the owner of that group is, and see what their goals were in setting it up...We have a link on the DZ national website--which is how many of our members find us (I tripped over it one day while surfing the net...I had not been active with DZ for almost 5 years. When I found that link, it was totally by accident, but my surfing sisters have become some of my best friends, even though I've met very few of them personally!

And to answer your question, Earp (sorry, I've seen others call you that...),
my DH (meaning Darling Hubby or Dam% Hassle, depending on my mood and his behavior), was initiated into Phi Rho Zeta at Tarleton State University in Stephenville, TX (been over 10 years YIKES!). He is not an active alum, but is proud of Lambda Chi. I try to brainwash our son as often as possible (which is hard b/c he has 2 ATO uncles who are trying to undermine my efforts!).