What would you do?

[amIblue?]

Without going into too many details, if you witnessed active members of an NPC group other than your own participating in an activity that you know is a RM problem while in their letters, what would you do?

I saw something worrisome this morning that I would want to be aware of as an adviser if it were my advisees. I'm feeling a bit torn about what is an appropriate action to take.

[LaneSig]

If it wasn't affecting my chapter or any of my chapter sisters/brothers, I would gone on about my merry way.

[adpimiz]

My school has a twitter account titled "Mizzou Makeouts". It's basically pictures that people upload of others publicly making out on campus, at bars, at fraternity parties, etc. I once saw a girl on there who is a member of a highly esteemed sorority on campus 1) drinking a beer and 2) publicly making out with a guy while wearing a t shirt with her letters on it. I was quite repulsed.

I went about my life without saying anything. The picture got deleted (I'm assuming she asked them to take it down), but it was retweeted by several people.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

Without going into too many details, if you witnessed active members of an NPC group other than your own participating in an activity that you know is a RM problem while in their letters, what would you do?

I saw something worrisome this morning that I would want to be aware of as an adviser if it were my advisees. I'm feeling a bit torn about what is an appropriate action to take.

Without knowing the details of the incident, it's hard to say what you should do. I'm in no way saying you should tell us what happened - I'm only saying that it's difficult to tell you exactly what to do without more information.

Generally speaking, I would only take action if:
a) this affects your chapter (or any others), or
b) this involves hazing to an extent that you're concerned about someone's physical and/or mental health

[Gusteau]

I would say something if the action was causing or could cause physical, mental, emotional harm to the offenders or those around them. For an action that does not appear to cause harm I would probably only say something if I knew the chapter advisor already.

I always tell students that a good benchmark for hazing/risk management issues is to gauge how something makes you feel. If this incident made you uncomfortable enough to come here with it I think it sounds like it should be reported.

[DubaiSis]

There's a difference, as an outsider, between being a slut and being dangerous. If they were doing something that could end up with a girl in a body bag, then by all means you should speak up. If it's something where the girls are going to ruin their chapter's reputation, stay out of it.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

It's the year 2012. Women who want to engage in consexual sex with adult partners should not be slut-shamed. However, when you say RM issues, I'm assuming it's not sex, because I have a very hard time imagining how sex would put a sorority woman or the group itself in real danger.

On the other hand, you added "while in letters" to the original statement. So, I think a good rule of thumb is this: what if they weren't in letters? Would it still be a dangerous/potentially lawsuit-inducing activity? If so, tell the advisers. If not? Probably none of your business.

[amIblue?]

To clarify, it was more along the lines of hazing, not drinking or promiscuous behavior.

[Gusteau]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

To clarify, it was more along the lines of hazing, not drinking or promiscuous behavior.

In that case, absolutely say something.

[James]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

There's a difference, as an outsider, between being a slut and being dangerous. If they were doing something that could end up with a girl in a body bag, then by all means you should speak up. If it's something where the girls are going to ruin their chapter's reputation, stay out of it.

I agree here. If it looked dangerous thats one thing. If it was just inappropriate maybe just ignore it. Keep in mind that you dont know the context of the activity.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by adpimiz

My school has a twitter account titled "Mizzou Makeouts". It's basically pictures that people upload of others publicly making out on campus, at bars, at fraternity parties, etc. I once saw a girl on there who is a member of a highly esteemed sorority on campus 1) drinking a beer and 2) publicly making out with a guy while wearing a t shirt with her letters on it. I was quite repulsed.

I went about my life without saying anything. The picture got deleted (I'm assuming she asked them to take it down), but it was retweeted by several people.

I think I may be more repulsed by the existence of that tw*tter account to begin with. Tw*tter for papparazzi.

As for the OP's question, I'd want to know more before I said anything. You said "it was more along the lines of hazing," but as we've seen here, that can cover a wide range of things, some of which is unquestionably hazing and some of which falls into more of a grey area. If it's the former, say something. If it's the latter, I'd be more cautious and probably mind my own business.

[adpimiz]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I think I may be more repulsed by the existence of that tw*tter account to begin with. Tw*tter for papparazzi.

As for the OP's question, I'd want to know more before I said anything. You said "it was more along the lines of hazing," but as we've seen here, that can cover a wide range of things, some of which is unquestionably hazing and some of which falls into more of a grey area. If it's the former, say something. If it's the latter, I'd be more cautious and probably mind my own business.

Yeah, the account in itself is rather immature and just gross.

I agree with what you said, though. It could be making New Members attend certain events, which some would refer to as hazing although it isn't endangering anyone in any way.

I'd say if it is causing physical or emotional harm, I'd report it.

[amIblue?]

Thanks, everybody. This really is gray area kind of thing, so I'm going to keep it to myself. I'm not a tattletale by nature, but my adviser training made me question my instincts. Had it been life threatening, dangerous, or illegal, believe me, I wouldn't have waited around for you lovely GC'ers to answer.

Sometimes we just need a little confirmation of what we already know.