difficulties with Panhel

[worried]

Hi ladies!

Firstly I feel like I need to give some background information... So I am currently a member of a sorority on a campus with very small greek life. My chapter is one of the larger and more successful chapters on our campus. This year there are more girls going through recruitment than ever and I am disaffiliated because I am a rho chi. However, I and a few members of my chapter (and other rho chis) are frustrated and worried about how recruitment will go. The President and Recruitment Chair of our Panhel exec board are from one of the lower performing (but still awesome) sororities (we'll call it UM) have been acting super inappropriately. The background of UM is that they have been struggling with numbers for years and their charter is in risk of being pulled.

Alright. So basically everything started during our rho chi training meeting where the President and Recruitment chair of Panhel were being condescending and rude to the rho chis, especially those girls from my sorority. Then during our Greek info session, they literally kept making these snarky comments about our sorority that honestly could make a girl not want to give us a second glance. This was a point in time where we started growing concerned with the situation. On the day we did house tours, before we gave out the girls their schedules, the president of panhel actually spent time insulting one of the rho chis from my house who was running late AND then was very rude to the PNMs who showed up early. Later that day during house tours, the director of Greek Life (who just got forced into this job this summer because our original director left the school) and the two girls from UM were going around to the different houses. They stopped by one house, didn't bother asking for a tour and were perfectly pleasant. They went to another house and told them they needed to have a tour, but again they were rather pleasant. They came to our house and literally insulted some aspects of our house IN FRONT OF PNMS and were incredibly rude to our vice president by pretending they couldn't hear it. Oh, they also didn't bother going to their own house... All of this seemed to be the last straw for our president who decided to contact our greek life advisor to set up a meeting for this week. So after hearing all of these things through the grape vine, I got really angry, but decided not to let it get to me and to just take the high road and kill them with kindness. However, things changed the other day. I had a night class and couldn't go to a ranking meeting and twice e-mailed the Recruitment chair telling her I couldn't go. No response. I then e-mailed the director of greek life. No response. Since I never got confirmation that anyone read my e-mails, I decided I should just show up quickly beforehand and tell them I had class. I have never been treated so poorly in my entire life. They were so rude and condescending to me that I (a person who abhors physical violence) actually wanted to punch them. They said these pretty nasty things to me and at the end of it, the president in a really snarky tone said, "well you're going to be useless, so you can just go now..." I was so angry. I asked another rho chi who was there if she thought I was being super sensitive and she said no and that she was honestly as angry as I was at the way they treated me. Also, one of my PNMs later that night texted me and said she felt uncomfortable telling them her rankings because they were rude to her and that she was worried they would be acting like this for the rest of recruitment. She was also worried they would change her rankings because apparently when the recruitment chair looked at her list she gave my girl a death stare and rudely dismissed her....

I know this is a super long message, and not only am I not sure I can handle this treatment anymore, but with the way these girls have been handling themselves and their positions, I honestly am worried about the outcomes of recruitment. I know our president is meeting with the greek life advisor, but I was just wondering if any of you lovely people have experienced something like this and had any advice as to how to handle this situation.

Thanks!

(also sorry for the terrible grammar... I am in a rush and just needed to post this)

[MaryPoppins]

Yikes!

[HQWest]

“If you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times. In the kingdom of love there is no competition; there is no possessiveness or control. The more love you give away, the more love you will have.”
― John O'Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

No you guys aren't wearing letters, but these girls aren't helping anyone. They are just making the whole system look bad. It doesn't sound like your Greek Life advisor will be able to help out either.

The key is to stay positive. The good news is that most of the PNMs will figure it out once rounds start. They will be able to see the sisterhood insdie the house then.. All you have to do is get them to see the good side of things. Maybe share something special a sister did for you when you were sick or tell them about a great time you had on a summer trip?

The best that you can do is if one of them loses her temper at you again, be SUPER nice. Apologize. Tell her you are sorry - she must be so stressed out. Remind her you are doing the best you can.

[FSUZeta]

Your best bet would be to ask other Rho Chis who are not part of your chapter if they have had any problems with either the Panhel. Prez., the VP recruitment or the GL advisor. If you find other rho chis who have a legitimate gripe with any of those three, you should first address the documented issues (you must document, i.e., on Monday, Sept. 10,at 4 pm, Patty Panhel. Prez. demanded to tour the Tau Delta house and then ridiculed the Tau Delta decorations and spoke unfavorably about the Tau Deltas in front of PNMs. This was witnessed by.....and list the names of the witnesses). Next you should present this info. to the Greek Life advisor. If you get no response from the GL Advisor, then you need to make an appointment with the Dean of Students (or whomever is the GL Advisor's supervisor). Good luck!

[MaryPoppins]

FSUZeta. Considering the prior lack of a timely response from the GL Advisor, might the OP want to carbon copy the Dean of Students/GL Advisor's Supervisor on that communication? Just wondering as my PHC experience is nil.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

You may also want to run it up the chain in your own organization, i.e. make sure your chapter advisers are aware of the situation.

[Just interested]

Also doesn't Panhellenic have an area advisor or should it go through other chains 1st?

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

You may also want to run it up the chain in your own organization, i.e. make sure your chapter advisers are aware of the situation.

The OP's not supposed to talk to her chapter or chapter advisers - she's disaffiliated.

If she is going to make a complaint about it - you will have to get Rho Gams from several sororities to frame a complaint, otherwise it will be very hard to make anything meaningful come of it. You do not want to be escalating what may already be a rivalry.

You may also not be prepared to make a complaint but maybe can have a big meeting where the GLO adviser can advise the leadership more about working with volunteers and always putting the best face on panhellenic.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by HQWest

The OP's not supposed to talk to her chapter or chapter advisers - she's disaffiliated.

I disagree. If things are going on that are affecting recruitment, she absolutely has a duty to her own organization to report them. This is one of the reasons that every group should be represented in the rho chi pool. The chapter advisers are also the ones who have access to the area panhellenic adviser or whomever else can address this.

[agzg]

Wow. How many chapters are on your campus? If you don't want to answer, is it more than five or less than five? I find it very odd that the VPR and President would be from the same chapter.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by agzg

Wow. How many chapters are on your campus? If you don't want to answer, is it more than five or less than five? I find it very odd that the VPR and President would be from the same chapter.

Unfortunately at UofA most of the Panhell officers are from one chapter, due to a lack of applicants. This was , but we are grateful that at least one chapter stepped up! We are hoping to have representation from more chapters this year.

What the OP is describing is pretty ugly and in that situation I'd call my chapter advisor immediately although I think perhaps the chapter president has already done so (I hope that is the case). The advisor can reach out to her support system and appropriate action should happen, quickly.

FSUZeta's advice was spot on. Follow it. Document, document, document. And I would cc a whole boatload of people, myself.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

Unfortunately at UofA most of the Panhell officers are from one chapter, due to a lack of applicants. This was , but we are grateful that at least one chapter stepped up! We are hoping to have representation from more chapters this year.

What the OP is describing is pretty ugly and in that situation I'd call my chapter advisor immediately although I think perhaps the chapter president has already done so (I hope that is the case). The advisor can reach out to her support system and appropriate action should happen, quickly.

FSUZeta's advice was spot on. Follow it. Document, document, document. And I would cc a whole boatload of people, myself.

I've never seen that before, but I guess there was no shortage of volunteers on my campus and I haven't been intimately involved in Panhellenic affairs since then.

BTW, I thought of you the other day - that song you were trying to link to a couple of weeks ago was played as the last song as a wedding and just the bride and groom danced. If you knew them, you'd understand why it was raining on my face.

[PeppyGPhiB]

This is the type of thing for which I would contact the College Panhellenic area advisor. These women are appointed by NPC and would be very concerned to learn of Panhellenic officers messing with recruitment. Here's a link to those contacts: https://www.npcwomen.org/college-pan...-advisors.aspx

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

This is the type of thing for which I would contact the College Panhellenic area advisor. These women are appointed by NPC and would be very concerned to learn of Panhellenic officers messing with recruitment. Here's a link to those contacts: https://www.npcwomen.org/college-pan...-advisors.aspx

I agree. Go to the Area Adviser.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

FSUZeta. Considering the prior lack of a timely response from the GL Advisor, might the OP want to carbon copy the Dean of Students/GL Advisor's Supervisor on that communication? Just wondering as my PHC experience is nil.

I was taught to respect the chain of command-that is why I suggested giving the GL advisor one more chance. If she/he does not respond in a timely fashion, then go to the next person over the GL advisor. I don't think it would be wrong to cc the supervisor, and may expedite a response.

AzTheta, The campuses I have worked with all provided Panhellenic officers on a rotation. At FGCU for instance, when ZTA came on, it was just Tri Delta and ZTA. Since Tri Delta was the first sorority at FGCU, one of their members served as the first president of Panhellenic. A ZTA served as the VP(president in waiting) and served as the president the next year. The other officers alternated between Tri Delta and ZTA. When Chi O colonized, they were worked into the rotation..same with KD, and when Phi Mu becomes a chapter, they will be worked into the rotation too. Maybe Arizona could look into that system.