Fraternity let down

[Willato]

Everyone this is kinda hard to explain but im going to do it as best as possible. I am a recently initiated member of ATO. Now the problem is this in a short form. My best friend i have literally known my whole life (17 years total) has literally ruined my fraternity experience. I have had several probs with him in the past with stuff related to bad habits. I had a party at home and he was there(were still friends at the time) and he got strung out on pills and drank way too much and at the end of the night he attacked my parents and guests i had over. He got pissed over something that turned into something huge. He had his ato jersey on that night as well. When we returned to school and people from my chapter heard they literally did nothing about it. I left the chapter and university. They were pissed for(without my knowing) my folks called nationals and the whole chapter was p/o.

Next I personally contacted nationals next and from my knowing nothing was done. Next is the fact that Im now SOL for thier is no other chapter in the state I can go to for now.

I was thinking of another organization(since my last experience was so terrible) but not sure exactly what to do about all this ?

[knight_shadow]

From what you've typed -- this has nothing to do with the fraternity and everything to do with your relationship with your friend. What exactly was the chapter/HQ supposed to do about an argument between friends?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

From what you've typed -- this has nothing to do with the fraternity and everything to do with your relationship with your friend. What exactly was the chapter/HQ supposed to do about an argument between friends?

Exactly. It sounds like you expected the fraternity to fix his LONG history of train wreckiness. Which makes you...if I was feeling nice I'd say naive, but I'm a little buzzed so I'll just say stupid.

If you'd had a brain in your head, you would have joined a different chapter than the one who was silly enough to take your idiot friend. Instead, you chose to keep yourself tied to him.

Oh, and mentioning that he had his jersey on is just silly. He did what he did whether he was wearing a jersey, a dress or a suit of armor. Do you mention this because you think if he WASN'T wearing letters it would make a difference?

[Greek_or_Geek?]

If someone is attacking you and guests in your own home, you call the police. You don't call his fraternity headquarters. What was that supposed to do but make you look like a baby?

Originally Posted by Willato

Everyone this is kinda hard to explain but im going to do it as best as possible. I am a recently initiated member of ATO. Now the problem is this in a short form. My best friend i have literally known my whole life (17 years total) has literally ruined my fraternity experience. I have had several probs with him in the past with stuff related to bad habits. I had a party at home and he was there(were still friends at the time) and he got strung out on pills and drank way too much and at the end of the night he attacked my parents and guests i had over. He got pissed over something that turned into something huge. He had his ato jersey on that night as well. When we returned to school and people from my chapter heard they literally did nothing about it. I left the chapter and university. They were pissed for(without my knowing) my folks called nationals and the whole chapter was p/o.

Next I personally contacted nationals next and from my knowing nothing was done. Next is the fact that Im now SOL for thier is no other chapter in the state I can go to for now.

I was thinking of another organization(since my last experience was so terrible) but not sure exactly what to do about all this ?

[Kevin]

Since you left the chapter, it's now out of your hands. If you didn't contact your alumni advisers, you skipped a step calling directly to your HQ. Anyhow, what's your issue here now? You are no longer at that school or chapter and now you can't rush an NIC fraternity. If you have to join something, I guess you should look into Circle K.

Speaking from personal experience, one of the hardest things for a chapter to deal with in a serious way is a member with a drug problem. Especially when you're talking about prescription meds. The stigma just isn't there like it is for meth or pot or whatever. In these situations, chain of command is important. If you can't resolve things with undergraduate leadership, your best bet would be to speak with an alumnus who is in a position to do something about it.

As I said though, it's really too late for you.

[Willato]

He was already on judicial for fighting a brother in the past. Other brothers even tried to push for another meeting for his actions reflected on the chapter and he has had several incidents that reflected poorly. Just because I decided to switch schools the chapter does nothing.

I contacted one alumni and he even said about the entire situation it was wrong and no brother has the right to do the things he did and not take responsibility for his actions.

The contacting nationals was brought on by my folks and I had no clue. I contacted them to keep them from looking into it cause I didnt want the chapter to suffer for his actions

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Willato

I contacted one alumni

No, you contacted an alumnus.

At any rate, this is no longer your problem.

[zookies]

Originally Posted by Kevin

No, you contacted an alumnus.

well put.

Maybe when your BFF goes rogue, we can call the BFP? (best friend police)

Originally Posted by KDCat

In my experience, people with that kind of drug/alcohol problem sink themselves, eventually.

True dat.

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by Willato

He was already on judicial for fighting a brother in the past. Other brothers even tried to push for another meeting for his actions reflected on the chapter and he has had several incidents that reflected poorly. Just because I decided to switch schools the chapter does nothing.

I contacted one alumni and he even said about the entire situation it was wrong and no brother has the right to do the things he did and not take responsibility for his actions.

The contacting nationals was brought on by my folks and I had no clue. I contacted them to keep them from looking into it cause I didnt want the chapter to suffer for his actions

What he did was wrong. That sucks.

However, I'm having problems trying to get my head around what you expect the fraternity to do about it, when you've been unwilling to do anything about it until he attacked your parents in your home. You have been friends with this person for more than 17 years. You know how he behaves. You chose to join a fraternity with him. You chose to allow him in your house. You chose not to call the police. You chose to protect him from Nationals, after your parents called Nationals. You are expecting your chapter to take more responsibility for correcting this guys behavior than you are wiling to take yourself.

You need to let it go, get over it, and get on with your life.

In my experience, people with that kind of drug/alcohol problem sink themselves, eventually.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Willato

He was already on judicial for fighting a brother in the past. Other brothers even tried to push for another meeting for his actions reflected on the chapter and he has had several incidents that reflected poorly. Just because I decided to switch schools the chapter does nothing.

I contacted one alumni and he even said about the entire situation it was wrong and no brother has the right to do the things he did and not take responsibility for his actions.

The contacting nationals was brought on by my folks and I had no clue. I contacted them to keep them from looking into it cause I didnt want the chapter to suffer for his actions

Ummm..

Originally Posted by Willato

Next I personally contacted nationals next and from my knowing nothing was done.

[PSKsilver]

Jeez, this is like the summer of apathy here.....