Legacy with active sister, rushing in the fall

[bmb05]

Hi, I'm new to greekchat, and I'm rushing in the fall at a big state school with competitive greek life. My older sister is a junior at the same university I'll be attending and plegded a sorority her freshman year. From what I know about it, I like her sorority and would probably be happy with it, but I want to have a chance to make my own decision. I'm afraid I won't be able to make my own decision once other sororities see I am a double legacy (grandma as well) at this sorority, and that all the sororities I'm interested in except this one sorority will cut me and I'll really have no say in what house I join. I've heard if you're in this situation (with an active sister), you have to cut the sorority really early in order to have a chance of pledging another sorority. I don't want to do this, as I am interested in my sister's sorority. What are your all's thoughts? Has anyone been in/ known someone in this situation and what happened? Thanks in advance!

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by bmb05

Hi, I'm new to greekchat, and I'm rushing in the fall at a big state school with competitive greek life. My older sister is a junior at the same university I'll be attending and plegded a so called "top 3" sorority her freshman year. From what I know about it, I like her sorority and would probably be happy with it, but I want to have a chance to make my own decision. I'm afraid I won't be able to make my own decision once other sororities see I am a double legacy (grandma as well) at this sorority, and that all the "good" sororities except this one sorority will cut me and I'll really have no say in what house I join. I've heard if you're in this situation (with an active sister), you have to cut the sorority really early in order to have a chance of pledging another sorority. I don't want to do this, as I am interested in my sister's sorority. What are your all's thoughts? Has anyone been in/ known someone in this situation and what happened? Thanks in advance!

I think you need to go to rush and decide for yourself what the "good" sororities are before you let other people make up your mind for you. Just because you're a double legacy doesn't mean you'll get a bid to that chapter. You need to be open to all chapters, and honestly if I heard of a legacy or PNM speaking this way before they even went to rush, it would be a HUGE red flag to me, and this sort of attitude may work against you.

Don't listen to anyone but yourself once you meet all the chapters, whether or not other people think they are "good" or not.

[D_Crayola_Z]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I think you need to go to rush and decide for yourself what the "good" sororities are before you let other people make up your mind for you. Just because you're a double legacy doesn't mean you'll get a bid to that chapter. You need to be open to all chapters, and honestly if I heard of a legacy or PNM speaking this way before they even went to rush, it would be a HUGE red flag to me, and this sort of attitude may work against you.

Don't listen to anyone but yourself once you meet all the chapters, whether or not other people think they are "good" or not.

I would just like to point out that if you dont get a bid from a house that you're a legacy in they MUST MUST MUST have a veryyy good reason why they're not giving a bid. It's pretty much a done deal unless the actives know - and have good reason to back up the claim - that the legacy wont fit in.

[ThetaDancer]

Originally Posted by D_Crayola_Z

I would just like to point out that if you dont get a bid from a house that you're a legacy in they MUST MUST MUST have a veryyy good reason why they're not giving a bid. It's pretty much a done deal unless the actives know - and have good reason to back up the claim - that the legacy wont fit in.

That's just bad advice. You're way out of line here. You don't know a damn thing about how any organization other than your own selects members. Furthermore, at some schools where a ton of legacies rush, it would be nearly impossible for some chapters to accept every legacy.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by D_Crayola_Z

I would just like to point out that if you dont get a bid from a house that you're a legacy in they MUST MUST MUST have a veryyy good reason why they're not giving a bid. It's pretty much a done deal unless the actives know - and have good reason to back up the claim - that the legacy wont fit in.

This is FALSE.

A legacy should NEVER expect a bid.

I've seen in house legacies get cut from their sister's chapter before--and I don't even go to a competitive school.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by D_Crayola_Z

I would just like to point out that if you dont get a bid from a house that you're a legacy in they MUST MUST MUST have a veryyy good reason why they're not giving a bid. It's pretty much a done deal unless the actives know - and have good reason to back up the claim - that the legacy wont fit in.

This is NOT true. A chapter is not obligated to bid a woman just because she's a legacy. It is NOT a done deal. Ever.

re: my earlier post, I wasn't implying that the OP was freaking out. After re-reading it, I can see how I didn't articulate that well. I just didn't want the OP to stress out and worry about it.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by D_Crayola_Z

I would just like to point out that if you dont get a bid from a house that you're a legacy in they MUST MUST MUST have a veryyy good reason why they're not giving a bid. It's pretty much a done deal unless the actives know - and have good reason to back up the claim - that the legacy wont fit in.

I'm seconding what everyone else is saying. Nothing is ever "a done deal."

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by D_Crayola_Z

I would just like to point out that if you dont get a bid from a house that you're a legacy in they MUST MUST MUST have a veryyy good reason why they're not giving a bid. It's pretty much a done deal unless the actives know - and have good reason to back up the claim - that the legacy wont fit in.

I would just like to point out that you are highly misinformed. Maybe that is how membership selection*** in your chapter at your school works, but that is not the case everywhere, for every sorority, for every rush, or at any point in time. Regardless of legacy standing or not plenty of women do, or don't get into chapters, and I suggest you prowl around in the recruitment threads and see how we operate here (and campuses other than your own) before you start giving advice out to anyone. Every person, every rush, every school IS DIFFERENT.

*** FYI we do NOT discuss membership selection on GC, and it is often referred to as MS. The majority of us consider this private information, and the people who don't get on board fast.

[DDDlady]

Originally Posted by D_Crayola_Z

I would just like to point out that if you dont get a bid from a house that you're a legacy in they MUST MUST MUST have a veryyy good reason why they're not giving a bid. It's pretty much a done deal unless the actives know - and have good reason to back up the claim - that the legacy wont fit in.

Just jumping on the bandwagon, and I want to make sure the OP understands that this is utterly FALSE! At a big state school with a competitive Greek system, a chapter could have 100+ legacy girls coming through. There is NO WAY you can pledge them all. DO NOT rely on your legacy status to get you in. I was cut from my legacy early, and I am sure that many other women have had a similar experience. Just go in open minded, be yourself and quit over analyzing. Good luck!

[cbm]

Originally Posted by DDDlady

Just jumping on the bandwagon, and I want to make sure the OP understands that this is utterly FALSE! At a big state school with a competitive Greek system, a chapter could have 100+ legacy girls coming through. There is NO WAY you can pledge them all. DO NOT rely on your legacy status to get you in. I was cut from my legacy early, and I am sure that many other women have had a similar experience. Just go in open minded, be yourself and quit over analyzing. Good luck!

There is a difference between legacy and in-house legacy (for my organization, at least). Speaking from my experience, in-house legacy has more clout than regular legacy.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by cbm

There is a difference between legacy and in-house legacy (for my organization, at least). Speaking from my experience, in-house legacy has more clout than regular legacy.

are you sure that it is your organization, or could it be your chapter? No matter what, it is in a pnms best interest to not assume her legacy status, be it "regular" or in-house will be an easy in.

[AOII Angel]

bmb05,

I, too, was a legacy with a sister currently at my university when I went through recruitment. Stop worrying so much about what might happen at recruitment. I think that deciding on an action plan before you actually meet the sororities is a bad idea. I would NOT advise you to cut your legacy chapter unless you really can't see yourself being your sister's sorority sister (which has a list of benefits of it's own!) Since you will not be able to hide your legacy status, just make sure that you mention that you are trying to keep an open mind and don't just want to follow in your sister's footsteps. You may be surprised to learn that getting another chapter's double legacy may be a trophy for another chapter. If the other chapters do release you because you are a double legacy, it was their decision to make. They won't know which chapters you are choosing to return to everyday, so I can't see how cutting your legacy chapter would help you.

[KSUViolet06]

I think you should wait until you actually go through recruitment before you start labeling the sororities as "good or bad." It's a little rude.

To be honest, just be open-minded and don't act like "snobby little sister of sorority active who doesn't want to be bothered with any of us."

My school was one where girls often got bids to chapters other than their legacy sorority (even with active older sisters in the chapter).

[violetpretty]

You can't worry about things that are out of your control, like getting cut from other chapters (presumably) because you are a legacy. All you can do is emphasize that you are your own person and want to make your own decision.

[gee_ess]

The OP will, more than likely, experience exactly what she is describing. At large competitive (Greek) schools, the sisters of active members tend to be cut earlier. Everyone assumes she will follow her sister/mother so they let her go early.
If the PNM has made it clear throughout the summer or it is stated in her recs, that she is open minded and very interested in looking at other groups, she may have a better chance at returning to later rounds.See AOPi Angel's advice:

You may be surprised to learn that getting another chapter's double legacy may be a trophy for another chapter.

Take the advice from earlier posters - be nice, do not worry about what you cannot control. Let it be known that you are interested in getting to know other houses and that you do not want everyone to assume you will be pledging with your sister. BUT do not discuss the other houses - that would be rude. Let all of your comments be about how excited you are to go through recruitment and how fun it will be to meet new people, etc. Accentuate the positive.