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09-20-2008, 08:10 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 16
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Getting a Bid even if...?
Okay here's the thing. I'm wanting to join the Greek life on campus because I want to push myself to meet new people and have a great time. But, I don't drink (for personal reasons). I'm also nervous that I won't be able to get a bid. I'm not the most assertive guy ever but I don't blend in to the crowd. Let's just say I was the only guy at the rush event today wearing Converse shoes. (just an example)
The Kappa Sigma chapter i'm rushing currently keeps stressing diversity of members, so I'm hoping that includes me? lol I can tell that I would not be friends with all the brothers, but I could definitely see myself getting along with some of them really well. I don't know, I guess I'm just a little bit more nervous because I'm slightly quieter than your average Kappa Sigma in the chapter, so idk.
Thoughts?
Opinions?
Stories?
THANKS!
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09-20-2008, 08:19 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,137
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In my experience with the fraternities at my school, it didn't matter if you didn't drink, as long as you weren't overly self-righteous about it.
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"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi
Lakers Nation.
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09-20-2008, 08:20 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 16
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Yeah I don't like advertise it, and I don't care if anyone else does, but I just didn't know if that was a problem?!  Thanks.
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09-20-2008, 08:37 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,352
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I agree 100% with KSUViolet06. Being a non-drinker in and of itself does not matter as long as you are okay being around people who do drink and don't make it a big deal.
My chapter always had non-drinkers, and in my church group there were plenty of fraternity and sorority members who did not drink.
And quite frankly, as a non-drinker you can be of great value to a chapter. The best Risk Management officers are guys who don't drink. Rush captains who don't drink can do very well too, as can Presidents. This can be to your advantage down the road.
As for rush and being shy, I am laughing as I remember a guy we rushed when I was in college. I was one of the 2 actives assigned to pick him up, bring him to the event and make sure he got introduced around.
The guy was silent. He did not say one word- and if you asked him a question he would give the shortest answer possible and then go back to being silent.
We gave him a bid, he accepted- and within 2 semesters he was an executive officer, and a damn good one at that. His being so quiet was kind of a funny thing, but we could tell he was a good guy and someone we wanted around.
As for attire, do what makes you comfortable. If you would be comfortable dressing more like the fraternity guys you see- then it is a good idea to get a few new clothes and try to blend in a little more. You will find all through life- both personally and in your chosen profession- that unspoken dress codes are part of what help people feel more comfortable with each other when they first meet. Once you are known and respected, dress code matters less (within certain limits of course.)
Overall, my advice to you would be to work personally on these areas if you feel like it would help- but don't try to change yourself. And don't ever apologize to anyone during rush for being too quiet or dressing different etc. People can be very accepting of someone if that person seems confident with who they are.
When a chapter appears to have a very specific style of dress or general behavior common to ALL actives- that is indicative of a place that recruits a very specific type of person from a very specific type of background. If you fit that mold, then how you dress and behave is just part of the overall package- not something you have to create in order to get through rush. And trying to change yourself to fit that will not change you- and will not change your chances.
Be yourself, have fun and just see where it goes.
BTW- as for your comment about not getting along with everyone, that is how it is. When you take any group of 50-100+ people and put them together in a fraternity, a workplace or any other common setting- it is impossible for any one person to like everybody or for everybody to like any one person.
Focus on the friends you can make, and build that now. Those are the guys who will fight to make sure you get a bid. And you will learn to be cordial and get along with guys you might not like down the road- it is one of the best life lessons a fraternity can offer.
I hope this helps and do please post back here once rush is done. I have fond memories of my days rushing, and it is always good to hear how it goes for others.
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09-20-2008, 08:48 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Occupied Territory CSA
Posts: 2,237
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trliber
The Kappa Sigma chapter i'm rushing currently keeps stressing diversity of members,
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SPEITY?
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Overall, though, it's the bigness of the car that counts the most. Because when something bad happens in a really big car – accidentally speeding through the middle of a gang of unruly young people who have been taunting you in a drive-in restaurant, for instance – it happens very far away – way out at the end of your fenders. It's like a civil war in Africa; you know, it doesn't really concern you too much. - P.J. O'Rourke
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09-20-2008, 08:58 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elephant Walk
SPEITY?
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....what is speity supposed to mean?! lol
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