What is to be done?

lifesaver · #1 08-24-2001, 11:20 AM

(You Political Science Majors should like the subject thread)

OK, We are in the smack middle of informal rush, meeting the new freshmen as they arrive on campus. Last night we met this kid who is way hyped on our house, a great athelete, blue chip kinda kid. Problem is this, he mentioned to a few brothers that he occasionally smokes out. That is the big issue in our chapter. We are a substance free chapter by choice. (Yeah we drink, but thats it) NO DRUGS, Period. I pulled the kid aside and told him what we were about, and he told me that yes he had done it in the past and if a joint comes his way hes smoked it in the past, but he didnt mean to be outta line w/us. He is really interested in us, but do ya'll think he is worth fighting for? Could he have been talking bravado, thinking thats what college is all about? Or should I not waste my time? We have just disciplined several active initiated members for violations of our policy on drugs. Is someone innocent until they violate the policy, or better safe than sorry?

Lil_G · #2 08-24-2001, 11:40 AM

Okay, this policy states no drugs are to be consumed in the house? Or that anyone who tests postive from urine tests get's the boot?

Why not give your chapter more time to realize what he's about. You probably may need the extra weeks of rush leading up to pledging before an assessment can be made. You don't wanna shoot yourself in the foot by making hastly decisions, but then i geuss it's unfair to lead this kid on if he's just gonna get the drop come crunch time. I don't know if that helps you at all in your current situation - as usualy i offer indecisive advice.

PenguinTrax · #3 08-24-2001, 12:58 PM

I would take care of it right now. You're right, he could be 'talking big', but then again, he couldn't. It's easier to avoid a mess than have to clean one up.

I would approach it this way...talk about the chapter and all the things you are proud of, nationally and locally. Mention that one of the things you are proudest of is your substance abuse policy (zero tolerance, etc.) and why that makes your chapter stand out from all the rest, the benefits to this policy, etc. Unless he is completely an idiot, this kid will do one of two things: clean up his act and become a brother or back away and make the decision for you.

You should never, ever pledge a member with known problems, especially those relating to risk management. A chapter never needs members so badly that you can risk you entire charter or campus reputation on a single members' bad life decisions.

MoxieGrrl · #4 08-24-2001, 01:09 PM

I think that if this guy wants to be in your house bad enough and understands your policies on drugs, then he will quit this risky behavior. Congrats on doing the right thing by telling him about your no drug policy straight up! Also, once he sees your house "living the college life" and doing the fraternity thing drug free, he should probably wise up to what being a man - a fraternity man- is all about. Good luck and keep us updated!

lifesaver · #5 08-24-2001, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PnguinTrax
I would take care of it right now. You're right, he could be 'talking big', but then again, he couldn't. It's easier to avoid a mess than have to clean one up.

I would approach it this way...talk about the chapter and all the things you are proud of, nationally and locally. Mention that one of the things you are proudest of is your substance abuse policy (zero tolerance, etc.) and why that makes your chapter stand out from all the rest, the benefits to this policy, etc. Unless he is completely an idiot, this kid will do one of two things: clean up his act and become a brother or back away and make the decision for you.

You should never, ever pledge a member with known problems, especially those relating to risk management. A chapter never needs members so badly that you can risk you entire charter or campus reputation on a single members' bad life decisions.

Barbara, thank you so much (and to everyone) for their advice. This really helped put things in perspective for me. and I love the phrase "You should never, ever pledge a member with known problems, especially those relating to risk management. A chapter never needs members so badly that you can risk you entire charter or campus reputation on a single members' bad life decisions." To that, Amen and Thank You Very Much.

Tom Earp · #6 08-25-2001, 01:26 PM

Come on lifer, you know the policy of the International. If this guy is going to do it before, he will do it again! We had a Brother who got caught in the House and still lived there! When i went down to talk to him, he was is his room with a girl, in bed with her! I was livid and told the Chapter to boot his butt out and place him on suspension!
If something puts the whole Chapter in jepordiy, it is not worth it! I worked to had myself to start and keep th charter to have it blown by a moron!

GmuTeke · #7 08-25-2001, 02:04 PM

Personally, I'm really torn on this one.

One the one hand, everyone deserves a chance, and if you lay the law down and say "This is the policy, caught and you're immediately out" the guy may find a stable peer group that doesnt do drugs, and you have a fine new brother in your fraternity.

On the other hand, as Tom says, if he's done it once, he might do it again, maybe not at school but over the summer with high school buddies, or with some independent friends or whatever. and then you have a serious problem on your hands.

Personally, my initial gut instinct is to keep in touch with him, and when you meet to offer him a bid, lay down the law, stating your zero tolerance policy and you had to expell good active brothers for this. If he rises to the challenge, then great. If he falters and smokes up while pledging, expel with severe prejudice. Not only will you have gotten rid of a problem, but you will have taught the other new members that you do not tolerate this and will follow up on the threat.

Thrillhouse · #8 08-26-2001, 12:26 AM

I agree with tom, I don't think it is ever worth the risk of serious trouble. If he has done it before, he could do it again and if caught, it means big trouble for the chapter.

HeidiHo · #9 08-26-2001, 02:05 AM

I think that he should be given a chance. I can see how, with egos at stake, this guy could talk a big game. If he knows your policy stait-up, why would he bother coming back when he knows he'd break the rules. The way he worded it that if it happened to be there he'd smoke it leads me to believe that once he's around people who don't smoke he won't miss it. Maybe it would do him some good to hang out with you.
Heidi

kdgirlie · #10 08-26-2001, 01:44 PM

may be he thinks it will make him fit in
I know when I was a freshman ( a year before I joined a sorority) I just wanted to fit in. and if your as naive as I was you'll pretty much say at least one thing that makes you look stupid or really isn't true. In either case I think you should just tell the guy what is up with your policies if it isn't him then he won't come back. But don't joke about it with him, be sure to be completly serious about it.

LeslieAGD · #11 08-26-2001, 02:12 PM

Maybe you should make your policy clear (& the consequences) and then leave it in his hands. If he comes back, you know he's willing, if he doesn't then it's his loss.

shadokat · #12 08-27-2001, 02:10 PM

You say that he's really hyped on your fraternity. The question is, is your fraternity really hyped on him? I mean, before you go fretting over this, think if your brothers even want him to begin with. I agree that taking a person who poses a risk to your chapter it wrong, but you could be talking about a moot point if your brothers aren't interested in him in the first place.

lifesaver · #13 08-28-2001, 05:58 PM

Update.....

I was on my way to a "social" this weekend and ran into the prospective member in question, and taking Barbaras advice, talked to him. We both had to park on the street and walk about 1/4 mile to the event. I used that opportunity to tell him some of the things we are really proud of in our chapter and one of them is our substance use policy. I explained clearly what our policy was. He then took the opportunity to tell me that he had talked some smack in the past, and had done it with his friends, but didnt want to violate our policies. So.... problem solved, at least temporarily. Well see if he gets a bid. I think he probably will, because hee seems to be a great guy and many of the brothers like him. So I'll keep yall updated. Thanks GC community for the responces! I can always count on yall for great advice!