Well, I am glad to see these great responses so far!
I think that anyone or thing that tells women how to act is big trouble. "The Rules" imply that women are either stupid or need to rely on fake behavior to "get" a man, which is ridiculous. If you go through a relationship acting other than as your true self, you are not going to end up in a good situation.
I have never read The Rules (and never will) and so I certainly did not follow them -- I don't even think the book had been written when my guy & I got together, but even if it had, I wouldn't have cared. I actually pursued him when we first met -- and am glad I did it!!
As for the specifics:
1. Be a Creature Unlike Any Other
I don't know how they explain this in the book, but it sounds really stupid. Who is *not* a creature unlike any other??
2. Show up to parties, dances and social events even if you don't feel like it
Stupid. Why should you do stuff you don't want to do? Then what happens when you get married? You end up with a husband who thinks you want to go to parties, dances and social events all the time even though you'd rather do something else and you're both miserable.
3. It's a fantasy relationship unless a man asks you out.
Ask him out if you want!
4. In an office realtionship, do not email him back every time he emails you unless it is business related.
That's just rude.
5. If you are in a long distance relationship, he must visit you at least 3 times before you visit him.
This is stupid and arbitrary. Whoever wants to/has the means should visit!
6. When considering whether to use personal ads or other dating services, you should place the ad and let me respond to you.
I don't know about this as I don't have experience in this area.
7. If he does not call, he is not that interested. Period.
I don't know. There may be other reasons. If he does not call, ever, then sure he's not interested. Once, I'd say it's no big deal.
8. Close the deal - Rules women do not date men for more than 2 years.
Ugh. I think that a lot of people know after two years whether they want to get married. I think it may have taken us a little longer. Every relationship is different and moves at a different pace and so any strict cut-off point just doesn't work.
9. Buyer Beware - Observe his behavior so you do not end up with Mr. Wrong.
Duh.
10. Keep doing the RULES even when things are slow.
I think these authors are slow.
Okay, while I'm at it and since I don't feel like doing work, here are my rules:
1. Be yourself. If a man doesn't love you for who you are, you probably don't want to be with him.
2. Take the lead if you want -- don't be afraid to ask someone out or make the calls.
3. Take care of yourself first and cultivate your own interests. If you are not happy with who you are, you won't be "made happy" by anyone else.
4. Treat a man as you would like to be treated.
Okay, I think I only need four. I guess I could write a really short book.
[This message has been edited by valkyrie (edited August 22, 2001).]
To the Married People on this board: What do you think about THE RULES?
I used to be married and have read this book, so I will take a stab at posting. A lot of what the book said was good common sense. A lot of it was junk. If a girl followed everything in the book, it is possible that she would end up with a guy who sincerely liked HER- but not necessarily one that she was in love with. I think "be yourself" and "keep an open mind" works for more than just Rush. I thought the book was more funny than helpful. I know the my SO thinks the whole thing is bunk written for desperate women who dying to get married and who are baby-crazy. It was a good read, but I wouldn't recommend following that particular set of Rules.
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