childhood funnies

[gphi2k]

I was chatting it up with Newbie and we started to discuss silly/embarrising stories from our childhood. You know, those stories your parents retell for years to come and inundate all your boyfriends/girlfriends with FOREVER?

Well, of course in the midst of this conversation we decided that this would make a great GC topic. So if you got any funny stories, please share them. I have a few good ones I'll share in a little while.

Unlike funny adult stories, kiddie stories are usually a lot tamer and less, well, let's face it, alcohol enduced! Let's here 'em

[newbie]

Hahaha Les ! Hopefully this will go thru...Chit Chat is being a pain in the butt...anyway, I have a ton!

I tell these to my friends and they start laughing their heads off...I guess I was a rather "eccentric" child if you may...

1) As a child, I decided that baking was fun, and thought that I should impress all my preschool friends if I could bring a batch of cookies to school...well being like 2 or something, your sense of perception is well, quite a bit off...without letting my parents know, I actually brought my whole tray of play-doh (all beautifully shaped into chocolate-chip cookies nonetheless!!!!) to school...intending to let my classmates EAT IT!!!! Luckily, my teacher saw before all these 2 year olds started choking!!

2) I used to have a toy telephone. I would pretend to be a secretary and talk to my "clients." My sister laughed at me b/c she was like 10 years old then. I would actually say "Ring, ring," then answer the phone with "how may I help you?"...this was all at 3 years old...

3) I used to have all these stuffed animals, ranging from Cabbage patch dolls to Carebears. I would arrange them in a huge circle, and actually sit in the middle of that circle and tell them stories (you know, like Goldilocks, or Little Red Riding Hood)!! I also had afternoon tea with them...(I had a play set of tea cups.)

4) I used to have the Carebears cassette tape (where all the Carebears sing along). I would actually sing-along while changing the Carebears' outfits (the actual stuffed animals) or something. Soon, I became so convinced that I was a good singer that I recorded my own version of the Carebears tape! (Mind you, it sounds REAL funny, since the Carebears all have funny voices...since they are bears!)

5) OK please don't laugh at this one - my friends die laughing each time someone tells my story again...anyway, I used to have tons of Barbie dolls. Well, even as a little kid, I loved playing with makeup and hair and such. So, when I was little, I wanted to be a hairstylist. I took Barbie's long blonde hair, and decided that she needed a HAIRCUT! I did the whole salon-routine thing. I washed her hair with ACTUAL SHAMPOO in the sink! Then, I decided it was time to snip away. Well, being like 6 at that time, I took a pair of small scissors, cut away, and of course, her hair wasn't cut straight - basically I had cut her hair diagonally! So of course, I wanted to fix it. So I cut even more! Basically, she ended up with such short hair that I cried. A few weeks later, I demanded an explanation from my Mom of why Barbie's hair wasn't growing.

6) Umm, at bath time, I placed like all these rubber-duckies in the bathtub, and thought how cool it was that they could float! So, I also placed Barbie in the tub (much to my Mom's dismay - Barbie's outfit was basically ruined after that), and was disgusted when she couldn't float! That was at 5 years old.

There are a few more...when I think of them I'll post again...


[This message has been edited by newbie (edited July 17, 2001).]

[DGPhoney]

Hey all,
I promised newbie, i would post some of my childhood ishaps, I mean funnies, lol.
anyway, I have no clue how old i was but if you all remeber the movie "Home Alone" the first one and the part where he slides down his house stairs out the front door? Well I decided I too can attempt this umm task. But because I was a goofy kid, I always forgot major details(like opening the door) anyway, I decided to slide down my basement steps, on my sleighed all the way down I went until going really fast I realized, I umm never opened the door,lol Crasing straight into it, got stiches that day.

2. Ok, this one at the time was extremly funny, and even now it still has an expected laugh. I think I was in 5th or 6th grade and it was picture day. I begged and begged my mom to buy me this shoes with the tiny heel, not a heel heel but a little heel. so on pic day I am thinking I am alll cute. Well I was late to class for some reason or another and on my way into class trying to let everyone know, just how cute I was I took my time walking from the front of the class to where I sit at in the back.
well there was this little piece of food on the floor which stuck to my shoe as soon as i crossed it. Therefore I slipped on the piece of food, and cause I couldn't get it off my shoe I slipped from the front of the classroom all the way to the back of the classroom.
I was a umm very clumsy kid, I am proud to say my balance is all good, umm sometimes, lol
DGPhoney~

[SSS1365]

I used to get into my mother's makeup while she was still sleeping in the morning. One day she woke up to see me with various colors smeared all over my face.

This one's horrible... When I was about 3, I used to take our kitten and swing him by the tail and then let him go so he would end up being thrown against a wall. Ironic that now I'm pre-vet, right?