Question- please feel free to delete if moderator doesnt like

[ilovemyglo]

I am going to post this question because i am sure I am not the only one to find this and I want to seriously and respectfully ask my sisters how to deal with a situation.

I recently had the opportunity to speak with a chapter advisor about possibly assisting her chapter. They are struggling to find an alum sister that is able to assist in many capacities (advisor as well as recruitment help, etc).

There are many sisters in my city and no chapter and I am not the only one interested- did I mention I am the current JC president working on getting a great JC going?

I approached the chapter advisor and was basically told that no sister from my chapter "knows" how to do certain things, and also that our help although appreciated we offered, is not wanted.

So I am sort of frustrated and curious- if they need assistance and have people willing and able to, why would she rebuff our offer? Also I have found out this advisor has continued to complain to alums and IHQ that she has a lack of support and help.

How should I handle this?

[nancyagd86]

Many sisters have experienced growing pains this year specifically as we changed the structure of the VST. One chapter in my area was suspicious of the amount of attention they were receiving from their team members--all of which was paid with only positive intentions!
Now, to address the chapter-specific items. No sister is completely ignorant of Fraternity policy. Some chapters are more 'by the book' than others, while some chapters have gone so far as to all but write their own 'books'.
If you want to verify whether you were taught the 'right' way, please sign on to the Member Services section of the website and read the manuals. It's tedious--but then you'd know whether she is grossly exaggerating (likely it's not quite as bad as she made it sound) or whether you were honestly taught a little different version of how things are done.
If working directly with a collegiate chapter through the CA isn't possible where you are, don't rule out helping--as a member of the VST! There are almost ALWAYS opportunities to serve. And once you've been trained by your supervisor, you have assumed the opportunity to make a difference in, probably, several chapters. If that chapter needs some tweaking, then maybe the PD or other VST member needs to know how 'outsiders' are being handled. Verify what province this chapter is in and make sure the PD isn't from that chapter--then contact her! If the PD is a member, then go to the AC. I suggest circumventing a member of that particular chapter in case that attitude is pervasive, which I would certainly hope against!
There are rare situations where there is too much 'help' from alumnae, but those are so very rare. Most chapters would welcome additional help with open arms.

[Benzgirl]

I can relate!

In the past, I have forced myself to grin and bear it, hoping one day they will come around. I have dropped off snacks for the chapter during finals week and before recruitment, donated "mad money" for the chapter, and offered up hours of volunteer work, only for the the CA to rebuff my assistance. They prefer to want their more recenet alumnae to help out, then they only seem to hang around for a while.

At Some point you hope they will have a change of heart (or those in "power" will move on)