Regrets and Concerns

[dc1]

I need to get something off my chest that has been haunting me...

Background:
The other night, some friends and I were out at a bar that is frequented by gay/lesbian patrons. Everything was going great until two gentlemen (and I use that term loosely) entered the bar. One of the two started making rude comments; comments that were both crude and biggoted.

Because my friends and I were sitting at a table some distance from the bar, I didn't notice the man until he started walking around and getting in the face of some of the other patrons. I noticed no one was doing anything, so, while this man was insulting some little guy, I walked over to him. I stepped between he and the little guy and told him that he should leave. His response was a combination of insults that would make a sailor blush and then he swung...

To shorten the story, the ignorant man is in the county hospital and I have a court date...

My problem with this is that I have never had to beat anyone down before. Even though I am "built to beat" (my friends always say that), I have never hurt anything or anyone in my life. Violence is against everything I believe in; yet I was forced to go against those beliefs.

To be honest, everything right now looks ugly. I am so disenchanted with people right now!

Question: What makes someone become so hateful of people that they would harrass them?

I am not really worried about the court case, that is something a little money can fix... but I hate the fact that I had to hurt someone...

Sorry for rambling... I just needed to get that off my chest.

------------------
Faced with the Divine, I was asked; "What one gift do you seek?"
I answered ever so meekly; "I seek Honor, Truth, Integrity, and Wisdom, yet those are four. How am I to choose?"
The answer came as a pounding whisper; "The four you seek are but one. I grant thee Compassion; for without it the four make none."
Author - me

[This message has been edited by dc1 (edited June 19, 2001).]

[veruca76]

Originally posted by dc1:

Question: What makes someone become so hateful of people that they would harrass them?

Deep seeded insecurity and somehow feeling threatened by the people they tend to attack. Men who go out gay bashing are probably repressed homosexuals themselves.

[newbie]

I'm so sorry DC1 . I really hope everything will work out for you!!!!!

You know, you should visit my hometown, San Francisco, CA, sometime. There is not a shortage of homosexuals here, and everyone is very tolerant and open-minded here. Anyway, I really do think that inside (like veruca said), that guy really is a deeply repressed homosexual. I don't understand why he would hate so much...UNLESS he has this great fear of becoming one, and he thinks his actions of hate can totally hide what he's ashamed to be feeling (though really, he shouldn't be ashamed).

Have you seen the film American Beauty????? The dad of the girl's boyfriend (yeah, so sorry this description is so vague LOL), was part of the Navy...he had this graet hate against homosexuals, and I think he was violent against them, too. In the end--it turned out that he was one.

Anyway, good luck with everything, and don't feel bad about becoming violent...sometimes you are just so angry at a person's actions that you can't help it!!!! And possibly that guy deserved it, anyway! (Though I know that is not the most mature response, but you get what I'm saying.)

[AlphaChiGirl]

Originally posted by veruca76:
Deep seeded insecurity and somehow feeling threatened by the people they tend to attack. Men who go out gay bashing are probably repressed homosexuals themselves.

I totally agree with this. Wasn't there a study that proved that the men with the most vocal resentment towards homosexuals were the most aroused by gay love scenes? (I don't know how they proved this, I just read about it.)

dc1, good always prevails over evil. take comfort in that, and things will work themselves out.

[lifesaver]

Dude! dc1, I feel so bad for what you have gone through.

I have wanted to do the same to others at times, but unfortunately I am not of the physical stature to do anyhting.

I admire you for standing up for what you believe in. If it takes throwing a punch, then do so.

Remember, you are a man. Do what you gotta do. Take solice in the fact tthat you helped someone who couldnt help himself. Think of how much that meant to that little guy. Had it not been for you putting the SOB outta comission, who knows what he might have done to someone else in the parking lot after the establishment closed. People get killed that way. Crimes on homosexuals have gone through the roof in the last couple of years. Maybe, you just saved someones life. Be proud of that. Wouldnt you have done the same thing to protect a member of your immediate family?

Take care bud. Youre in my prayers.

life out

[dc1]

Originally posted by lifesaver:

Take solice in the fact tthat you helped someone who couldnt help himself. Think of how much that meant to that little guy. Had it not been for you putting the SOB outta comission, who knows what he might have done to someone else in the parking lot after the establishment closed. People get killed that way.

Wouldnt you have done the same thing to protect a member of your immediate family?

life out

Thanks... I never really looked at it that way. I actually feel a little better about what happened.
I am taking a trip to San Diego this weekend to meet a Buddhist Guru and discuss what's happened... I need some enlightenment right now.

Thanks to everyone for your support! This too shall pass.

------------------
Faced with the Divine, I was asked; "What one gift do you seek?"
I answered ever so meekly; "I seek Honor, Truth, Integrity, and Wisdom, yet those are four. How am I to choose?"
The answer came as a pounding whisper; "The four you seek are but one. I grant thee Compassion; for without it the four make none."
Author - me

[dc1]

I have a quick update on the court case:

My lawyer called me to say that the man who pressed charges against me has dropped the charges.
It seems that he has outstanding offenses against him and a long record:
Resisting Arrest
Failure to Appear
Disorderly Conduct
Assault
The list goes on. My lawyer contacted him and "recommended" that he drop the charges, then notified the police for his outstanding offenses.

I guess it all worked out for the better.

[CRMSNTiDEGRL717]

glad to hear everything turned out ok in the end!!

[Lots-a-Heart]

Congrats on the case being disolved. It is so sad what goes on in the world today! And for the 90% of us in it who CAN get along with everyone else, at one time or another, we have all felt like doing what you did.