Bonding with sisters

ThetaPhiPenguin · #1 12-09-2007, 12:24 PM

Hello everyone! I am a newly initiated member of my sorority and am really loving it so far. However, I do have one small problem...

I have always been very shy, and it takes me awhile to forge bonds with people. My sorority is not very large; there are less than thirty of us. Of that thirty, I am close to my big sister, about half of my pledge class, and one or two others. I get along with everyone, but am just feeling a little... left out, if that makes sense. I don't usually get asked to hang out one-on-one, except by a sister I was close with before I pledged. Do you have any ideas for how I can better bond with my sisters? Thank you!

twotimestalia · #2 12-09-2007, 12:45 PM

I had the same problem, but in my case, my chapter only has 11 members. I'd go out and do something with a member or two every week till I got to know everyone a little better.

Good luck! and Welcome to sisterhood!

When Doves Cry · #3 12-09-2007, 12:47 PM

i would go to all your events & activities and hang out with one of your close sisters & whoever she is hanging out with. Youll meet everyone in that group and bond a little. And maybe next time, hang out with someone else you're close with and whoever SHE is hanging out with.

After my initiation, we had this game night thing, and I played a game of Monopoly with my rosebud & the other girls she was playing with. I definitely got closer to them especially from all the trading of properties & whatnot.

LegallyBrunette · #4 12-09-2007, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThetaPhiPenguin

Hello everyone! I am a newly initiated member of my sorority and am really loving it so far. However, I do have one small problem...

I have always been very shy, and it takes me awhile to forge bonds with people. My sorority is not very large; there are less than thirty of us. Of that thirty, I am close to my big sister, about half of my pledge class, and one or two others. I get along with everyone, but am just feeling a little... left out, if that makes sense. I don't usually get asked to hang out one-on-one, except by a sister I was close with before I pledged. Do you have any ideas for how I can better bond with my sisters? Thank you!

Hi!

First off, welcome to Theta Phi! Come introduce yourself in the Theta Phi forum.

I think most people have a bit of transition when they're first initiated. Although you've been involved with the organization for several (8?) weeks by now, sisterhood and bonding can take much longer. Be patient. Also, take the initiative (I know it might be scary if you're shy) to hang out with sisters you don't know as much. Don't just wait for them to approach you. Ask them to meet for lunch or for help with a class if there are older sisters in your major. Think about what positions you might like to hold in the future and approach the sister currently in that position about what it entails. If being proactive really terrifies you, talk to your big sister and explain your concerns. Maybe she can help facilitate time you can spend with other sisters and get to know them better.

Good luck!

ThetaPrincess24 · #5 12-09-2007, 02:07 PM

I would take the initiative and invite sisters out to things. Show up to everything that you can that is going on.

As the previous poster stated, seek out open leadership positions. A leadership position will put you in a place to work closely with others in yoru chapter in order to get things accomplished and will allow you to get to know others better. Also dont be afraid to gather you whole pledge class together for an outing (this can be as simple as just going bowling). My guess would be that you are not the only one who is shy and eager to make bonds with others.

Also keep in mind that with a group your size and larger it is about impossible to be close friends with everyone. My chapter had 60 when I joined and 70 by the time i left. I was not close with everyone, but I am proud to say I knew who everyone was and a few things about each of them.

mh*e · #6 12-09-2007, 03:31 PM

I think the best thing you can do is definitely to show up for events, dinner, etc. You will get to know people enough that you'll feel more comfortable inviting them to do things with you.

You might also find it helpful to throw a party or organize a night for everyone to get together and watch your favorite TV show (Grey's Anatomy is pretty popular here, though I don't really watch it..)

Also: why not tell your big how you feel? I am sure that she would be happy to introduce you to more people and come with you to events if you're feeling shy.

AnatraAmore · #7 12-09-2007, 03:40 PM

First, welcome to GC ThetaPhiPenguin and congrats on your initiation! Please come introduce yourself in the Theta Phi forum!

Like others have said, sometimes it takes some time to transition into the sisterhood and become more comfortable with more of your new sisters. Remember that you have only known some of these girls for 8 or so weeks and that you will get closer as you send more time with them. Get involved in any activity that the chapter might be having. Many of the times I bonded with sisters I didn't really know in my chapter took place after a sorority event (ex: grabbing dinner or coffee after a philanthropy event or car pooling to a fundraiser) and from there I became better friends with them which lead us to hang out more outside of sorority functions. Good luck and have fun!!! Just keep in mind that you will get out of the sorority what you put into it!

ree-Xi · #8 12-09-2007, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThetaPhiPenguin

Hello everyone! I am a newly initiated member of my sorority and am really loving it so far. However, I do have one small problem...

I have always been very shy, and it takes me awhile to forge bonds with people. My sorority is not very large; there are less than thirty of us. Of that thirty, I am close to my big sister, about half of my pledge class, and one or two others. I get along with everyone, but am just feeling a little... left out, if that makes sense. I don't usually get asked to hang out one-on-one, except by a sister I was close with before I pledged. Do you have any ideas for how I can better bond with my sisters? Thank you!

This is a perfect example of why I think that sister interviews were great. We had to meet one on one for at least 10 minutes, with each sister, during the pledge period. There were 56 actives.

Obviously in shorter New Member periods, and with larger chapters, it can become a logistical nightmare, but there has to be a way of being able to do something similar without it being classified as hazing. Perhaps the active members can each take a step to meet one or a few new members at a time to at least go over the basics - where are they from, their hobbies, etc.

As for advice, why not make it a goal to meet each of the sisters one-on-one during the semester? Or (if you are an active member now), make a motion to discuss or form a subcommittee on "getting to know you "activities". It could be a great way for people to get to know YOU, and a perfect opportunity to demonstrate leadership.