Maid of Honor advice?

KSUViolet06 · #1 12-03-2007, 08:42 PM

So I just found out that I'm going to be the Maid of Honor in a wedding! While I've been a bridesmaid a few times, I've never been anyone's Maid of Honor before. I know alot of you girls are married or getting married. So I have some questions:

What were/will be your MOH's responsibilities? What did your Maid of Honor do that was particularly special or helpful? Was there something she did or didn't do that you didn't like?

Any advice is appreciated.

OtterXO · #2 12-03-2007, 08:48 PM

I've been a MOH and from my experience the responsibilities are: planning/hosting the bridal shower (sometimes in conjunction with the other bridesmaids); planning/hosting bachelorette party (if the bride wants one); taking the lead on picking dresses, shoes, jewelry (depending on the bride, obviously) and fielding complaints from the other girls who don't like the dress/shoes/jewelry; regulating on bridesmaids if necessary; holding the bouquet for the bride during the vows at the wedding; making sure her dress looks good from the back for the photographs.....and that's all I can think of right now. Good luck, it's a big job but fun!

KSUViolet06 · #3 12-03-2007, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OtterXO

I've been a MOH and from my experience the responsibilities are: planning/hosting the bridal shower (sometimes in conjunction with the other bridesmaids); planning/hosting bachelorette party (if the bride wants one); taking the lead on picking dresses, shoes, jewelry (depending on the bride, obviously) and fielding complaints from the other girls who don't like the dress/shoes/jewelry; regulating on bridesmaids if necessary; holding the bouquet for the bride during the vows at the wedding; making sure her dress looks good from the back for the photographs.....and that's all I can think of right now. Good luck, it's a big job but fun!

Yeah we had lunch today and went over a little of this stuff. I'm not looking forward to the "fielding complaints" part though. LOL. We will be choosing dresses with her future sister in law, but I'd like to think that I know most of the bridesmaids well enough to choose something that they can agree on.

I know that I'm going to the bachelorette party and another bridesmaid wants to take the lead on the shower.

#4 12-03-2007, 09:04 PM

When I was a MOH, I lucked out because my cousin gave us folders containing specific stuff she wanted us to do. Thankfully it wasn't Bridezilla-ish at all. Most of it consisted of picking up stuff, meeting at a designated time to help make favors, arrange flowers, etc.

In addition to the info OtterXO provided, I'd suggest having a comfortable pair of shoes/flip flops for her wedding day when not in the ceremony and reception. When my cousin got married, she needed this and she needed that. If I had to run around like a madwoman in my heels that day, I would have quit.

texas*princess · #5 12-03-2007, 09:21 PM

I was recently asked to be the MOH for a sorority sister's wedding.

I found this article from TheKnot.com really really helpful.

I'm sooooo excited!

LeslieAGD · #6 12-03-2007, 09:34 PM

My sister was my MoH, too, and I was hers. We:
- planned each other's bridal showers
- helped with placecards and favors
- went bridal shopping together and went to all the fittings
- helped with last minute day-of organization

jwright25 · #7 12-03-2007, 09:44 PM

All of the above are fabulous. I'd also start thinking about a day-of "emergency" kit. Bobby pins, safety pins, hem tape, lint roller, painkiller, breath mints, cotton balls, q-tips, extra makeup, extra hose (if the bridal party is wearing hosiery), etc. My MOH had this stuff, and she had anything we needed on the spot!

Help the bride plan out a schedule for the wedding day, including who is driving who. It may be your responsibility to get her to the church. Also coordinate with her family as to who is taking the gifts home. You should be one of the last ones to leave the reception/church/whatever - not to clean or anything, but to make sure that the bride's gifts, dress, and bouquet are taken care of.

Something else that I have found to be fabulous in my wedding experiences is some snack food for the bridesmaids and groomsmen if you will be at the church for a while prior to the ceremony. Something simple like fruit, veggies, crackers, water, juice, etc. Many bridesmaids don't find time to eat that day. Make sure the bride eats - no passing out at the altar!

KSUViolet06 · #8 12-03-2007, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I was recently asked to be the MOH for a sorority sister's wedding.

I found this article from TheKnot.com really really helpful.

Thank you! In case you guys are wondering, the wedding itself is in June 2009, so I have PLENTY of time.

BabyPiNK_FL · #9 12-04-2007, 02:06 AM

Honestly. this is somethign I've seen more recently at weddings. Having a friend who is NOT in the bridal party but is wearing a coordinating dress, be a hostess. She gets the presents to where they need to be, make sure everyone signs in the guestbook, takes care of last minute details and talks to caterers, bartenders, etc. on behalf of the bride. It's usually a close friend or relative. It can also be a man (host). Honestly I don't think that beyond bachlorette & bridal shower should a bridesmaid really be that busy (especially on the day of) when they need to be in the pictures too!

AlphaFrog · #10 12-04-2007, 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyPiNK_FL

Honestly. this is somethign I've seen more recently at weddings. Having a friend who is NOT in the bridal party but is wearing a coordinating dress, be a hostess. She gets the presents to where they need to be, make sure everyone signs in the guestbook, takes care of last minute details and talks to caterers, bartenders, etc. on behalf of the bride. It's usually a close friend or relative. It can also be a man (host). Honestly I don't think that beyond bachlorette & bridal shower should a bridesmaid really be that busy (especially on the day of) when they need to be in the pictures too!

I did this for a cousin's wedding. The dress was cute too - the skirt was the same fabric as the bridesmaids, and the bodice was the same material as the flower girls - so I fit right in with them.

sherbertlemons · #11 12-04-2007, 10:15 AM

I would try to make my schedule as flexible as possible the week of the wedding. You don't have to devote a whole week to it, obviously, but it is nice if you're able to help the bride in a last minute crisis. For instance, I realized the day before my wedding that I had completely forgotten to pack for my honeymoon because of all of the before wedding craziness. My amazing maid of honor stayed up half the night with me helping me pack. It was beyond the call of duty, but I couldn't have been more grateful.

I would say that day of, you're not only responsible for making sure her dress looks good in photos, but if she has a train, you need to try to help her keep it clean in general. Don't forget to pick it up if she ends up walking outside! This happened to a friend- her maid of honor just didn't think of it.

ForeverRoses · #12 12-04-2007, 12:41 PM

The best thing (in my opinion) that the MOH can do is stay calm. And make sure the bride stays calm. When I was a MOH, both the bride and the Mother of the Bride were in freak-out mode all day. I ended up just doing everything and anything to keep them calm- like running interference from everyone who wanted to ask them questions.

So if someone comes looking for the bride to ask "where should we put XYZ"- answer the question for her. The only thing the bride should worry about is getting ready.

Oh, and don't let a nervous Mother of the Bride try and iron the veil. The veil WILL burn under a hot iron. I ended up "trimming" the veil without the bride ever knowing. (until after the wedding that is!)

aephi alum · #13 12-04-2007, 03:13 PM

The MOH should:
- Plan the bridal shower (unless you're a family member - the etiquette gods frown on family members planning their own sister's/daughter's/cousin's/etc. shower - in which case the MOH should be sure to attend the shower)
- Plan the bachelorette party
- Help the bride with whatever she needs (e.g. if she wants someone to help pick out flowers, a dress, etc.)
- Run interference for the bride on the day of the wedding (e.g. make sure no one whines to the bride if the band is too loud / the food is overcooked / the wine runs out / etc). The bride shouldn't have to worry about anything except getting married and enjoying her and her new husband's special day. The best man should be doing the same for the groom.

You may have other duties, too, depending on the specifics of the wedding. For example, DH and I had a Jewish wedding, and our MOH and best man signed our ketubah (marriage contract - which has to be witnessed by two adult Jews).

CutiePie2000 · #14 12-04-2007, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum

You may have other duties, too, depending on the specifics of the wedding.

With regards to any "duties" (expressed or implied), I read this book , and you may opt to also, in case your friend morphs into a Bridezilla. It's nice to know that you're "not alone".

KSUViolet06 · #15 12-07-2007, 01:57 PM

So she and I are going to be looking for bridesmaid dresses over the holiday break (I'm in grad school), any tips on how to go about that (like what to consider when choosing a dress) I know that the body types of the different girls are imprtant to consider, but anything else?