frustrations

[ffs001]

I am writing this in hopes that someone feels the same way I do and get some insight about what to do. I just went through at a university with 4 sororities, and there has been so much drama it's crazy. Our pledge class has 31 girls, which I know is really big. Anyways, I will be classified as a senior next semester, and feel like I am expecting so much because I want to experience it all before I graduate in august or next december. Our Sorority is so split up, so many girls don't talk to each other, or fake being nice, and talk about each other behind there backs. We don't ever do anything together as sisters, and there alot of the older girls that I have never even spoke too and they have never approached me. Me and one of my sisters have been talking alot lately and she is even considering quitting because it's not like it used to before, so many cliques, no meaning to sisterhood anymore, dues are getting crazy and starting to wonder what they are really going for since we still pay alot afterwards for everything else...I don't know, it just makes me wonder.......I really came into this thinking that I was going to gain some friends that will last a lifetime and this is not what I am getting out of it....any suggestions?? has anyone been in the same position before with their sorority??

[AlphaFrog]

Sounds like it's candle pass time - like yesterday.

[ffs001]

lol, we've tried that already, it seems like it only lasts for the moment...plus I don't feel like I have much grounds to do anything since I'm a JI

[rhoyaltempest]

Whenever I see posts like this I usually don't respond because it seems like people get into their organizations and expect that their organizations will magically be all that they want them to be without their input and hard work. You all make the organization, not the other way around so create the kind of sisterhood that you want. Remember that it's not just about what the organization can do for you but what you can do for your organization also. Call a special meeting or at your next chapter meeting, talk about how you're feeling and see if anyone else feels the same way. Perhaps you can chair a committee that will be dedicated to changing things. The fact that you and your sisters don't do things together is probably the biggest problem so think of activities which will bring you together. Remember that everyone is not going to be best friends so evaluate your expectations and be a leader by trying to change what you do not like. I know one thing, you have to be there through the bad times also, not just when everything is great. I've been in my organization a long time and I've seen things change because of one person or persons who took the initiative. This could mean that you and your sisters are being challenged to work harder to build the kind of sisterhood that you all envisioned. My opinion...those who joined just to have fun and not to do any work to keep it going shouldn't have joined. Hopefully you will be a leader. Good Luck!

[Tom Earp]

We called it pass the Gavel.

Did it work, no! Why because it is supposed to be kept there and it isn't. People remember things and let it fester!

The best way if there to handle it if you have a strong Exec Board is let them do it.

If it gets to out of hand, it will really cause a Rift that may not be cured and last to long to restore.

[REE1993]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

You all make the organization, not the other way around so create the kind of sisterhood that you want. Remember that it's not just about what the organization can do for you but what you can do for your organization also.

I agree 100%, and not just in a rhetorical way. You have to DO something to get something back. Enthusiasm is infectious, perhaps as infectious as discontent. Chances are, many of your pledge class feels this way (we all did at some point). It's the "day after Christmas syndrome".

Don't get caught up in waiting for the next big thing and doing nothing in between. You will find that there is so much you can "do" or "be" in the off-times, between meetings or dances or parties. THAT is where the magic happens. That is where the sisterhood develops.

Good luck, and don't lose faith.

[luv n tpa]

I agree with the other responses regarding the organization is what you make of it.

Each semester, we have at least two or three scheduled "Good and Welfares". We add more should tensions rise/big problems occur. Maybe this is like your pass the Gavel, Tom, but we do that too, and it's more of a "I just had the worst day ever", "I passed my 84 page exam!" kind of thing.

Anywho, each sister, anonymously, writes on a sheet of paper her feelings about an issue. The key is "I statements": "I feel ____ when ____ because ____." (No personal attacks!) All of these get sorted and read by the president, usually grouping together similar statements. They are read and subsequently discussed.

It can get pretty heated, but most of the time it really helps to alleviate tension and stress between us. And more importantly, it solves problems. Sometimes we forget the "good" in good and welfare, so a good rule of thumb is if you have a negative/unhappy/problem statement to say, throw in a good one as well. If the entire thing is negative, no one will walk out of there in a good mood, despite things being resolved.

[SWTXBelle]

I think a sisterhood retreat might be in order - one organized by an alumna or two who have done it before. Talk to your chapter alumna advisor - since you are JI, it would best to have the advisor handle it.

[ErinBee]

There is a girl or two in my pledge class that feel the same way, but they are also the ones that don't go to any of the non-mandatory functions. I've heard so many times that you get out of a sorority what you put in. And I've come to find out that it is so true. I have gotten close to so many girls just by going out to eat after meetings. We had a mixer recently and I don't like any of the guys in the fraternity, but I went solely to hang out with my sisters. I ended up having a really fun time and got to know girls that I didn't know very well.

There are going to be cliques anywhere that there is a larger group of girls. But you should ask yourself, am I making a big effort to hang out with my sisters?

[Brock]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

I think a sisterhood retreat might be in order - one organized by an alumna or two who have done it before. Talk to your chapter alumna advisor - since you are JI, it would best to have the advisor handle it.

I would go with the above...