New NFL Mercy Rule

[DaemonSeid]

At the request of every NFL coach not named Bill Belichick, and in response to the many emails from fans, (especially the real whiny ones), the NFL has adopted a new "mercy rule" that will be instituted next week for the remainder of the season. In honor of the two coaches having the most to do with demanding this new policy, the rule will be called the Dungy And Mangini "Belichick And Brady Impositions to Equalize Scoring" rule, (or the D.A.M. B.A.B.I.E.S. rule for short)


Beginning in Week 9:

1. Any team that hosts the Patriots gets spotted 9 points before the opening kickoff
2. Any team that travels to Foxboro to play the Patriots gets spotted 14 points before the opening kickoff
3. If, (actually When) the Patriots build a 24 point lead, at any point in the game, the opposing team will:
--a. Get the ball at the Pats 35 yard line and have 10 plays to try to score, (FG or TD)
-----(i) If they fail to score, the ball will move back to the 35 yard line and they will get a fresh set of 10 plays
-----(ii) If the Patriots Defense scores, (INT/FUM return) during the 10 plays, the score will be immediately nullified and the down replayed
-----(iii) If the team does score, they will kick off to the Patriots and play will continue as normal, (until the lead goes above 24 again).
4. After Tom Brady throws his third TD pass, a new ball will be used whenever the Patriots go on offense
--a. The ball will be slightly bigger and weighted heavier at one end, (so a deep spiral will be next to impossible to throw)
5. After Randy Moss, (or ANY Patriots receiver), catches their second TD, or goes over 100 yards receiving they will
--a. be forced to play the reminder of the game with Crisco Oil on their hands
6. After any Patriot running back scores his second rushing TD, or rushes for more than 100 yards they will
--a. be required to play the remainder of the game with shoes that weigh 10 lbs... each
7. If all else fails, the 2nd string or Practice Squad will be called in to finish the game.
8. If the Patriots are up by 35 points at any point of the game, the game is automatically declared....over.
9. Other ways games will automatically be over against the Patriots:
--a. Teams lose their starting QB, WR, or RB due to injury or ineptness
--b. If a CB AND FS (or SS) are beaten more than 2x on passes thrown to Randy Moss while providing what they thouhgt was double coverage.
--c. Forget to cover Wes Welker or Mike Vrabel and they score.
--d. let a hole open up like the Red Sea wide to let Brady run thru and score 2x.
10. If any teams get blown out like the Redskins any more this season automatically will get a Patriots draft pick to be detremined by thier overall record at the end of the season.

[macallan25]

I think it is ridiculous that people are whining about the Patriots running up the score. This isn't an SEC vs. Ivy League game. It's professional football. If you are getting mad about a team going for it on 4th and 2 with a 45 point lead.........then do something about it.

..........I'm thinking "play defense".

[Animate]

Oh noes my team gets beaten by 21+ pts. You know what? If I was a coach I would run up the score every chance I get. There is no way you should play down to your opponents. You always end up losing when you do that.

[Cardinal026]

You know, I'm a die hard Redskins fan. My dad made sure I knew all the words to "Hail to the Redskins" before my ABCs. BUT - the Patriots played better, we knew they were going to beat us (I personally was merely hoping for no injuries!) and thats the way the game goes. Chris Cooley was on a local news radio station this morning, and even he said something along the lines that, the Patriots were doing their job, fighting til the end, and anyone else would've done the same thing. I'm disappointed we couldn't have kept up - but you can't blame the other team for still playing the game.

[darling1]

i wonder how much of this is as a result of the 52-7 annihilation of the redskins against the patriots

darling1

(sitting on her 6-2 GIANT hierarchy)

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

At the request of every NFL coach not named Bill Belichick, and in response to the many emails from fans, (especially the real whiny ones), the NFL has adopted a new "mercy rule" that will be instituted next week for the remainder of the season. In honor of the two coaches having the most to do with demanding this new policy, the rule will be called the Dungy And Mangini "Belichick And Brady Impositions to Equalize Scoring" rule, (or the D.A.M. B.A.B.I.E.S. rule for short)


Beginning in Week 9:

1. Any team that hosts the Patriots gets spotted 9 points before the opening kickoff
2. Any team that travels to Foxboro to play the Patriots gets spotted 14 points before the opening kickoff
3. If, (actually When) the Patriots build a 24 point lead, at any point in the game, the opposing team will:
--a. Get the ball at the Pats 35 yard line and have 10 plays to try to score, (FG or TD)
-----(i) If they fail to score, the ball will move back to the 35 yard line and they will get a fresh set of 10 plays
-----(ii) If the Patriots Defense scores, (INT/FUM return) during the 10 plays, the score will be immediately nullified and the down replayed
-----(iii) If the team does score, they will kick off to the Patriots and play will continue as normal, (until the lead goes above 24 again).
4. After Tom Brady throws his third TD pass, a new ball will be used whenever the Patriots go on offense
--a. The ball will be slightly bigger and weighted heavier at one end, (so a deep spiral will be next to impossible to throw)
5. After Randy Moss, (or ANY Patriots receiver), catches their second TD, or goes over 100 yards receiving they will
--a. be forced to play the reminder of the game with Crisco Oil on their hands
6. After any Patriot running back scores his second rushing TD, or rushes for more than 100 yards they will
--a. be required to play the remainder of the game with shoes that weigh 10 lbs... each
7. If all else fails, the 2nd string or Practice Squad will be called in to finish the game.
8. If the Patriots are up by 35 points at any point of the game, the game is automatically declared....over.
9. Other ways games will automatically be over against the Patriots:
--a. Teams lose their starting QB, WR, or RB due to injury or ineptness
--b. If a CB AND FS (or SS) are beaten more than 2x on passes thrown to Randy Moss while providing what they thouhgt was double coverage.
--c. Forget to cover Wes Welker or Mike Vrabel and they score.
--d. let a hole open up like the Red Sea wide to let Brady run thru and score 2x.
10. If any teams get blown out like the Redskins any more this season automatically will get a Patriots draft pick to be detremined by thier overall record at the end of the season.

[REE1993]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

At the request of every NFL coach not named Bill Belichick, and in response to the many emails from fans, (especially the real whiny ones), the NFL has adopted a new "mercy rule" that will be instituted next week for the remainder of the season. In honor of the two coaches having the most to do with demanding this new policy, the rule will be called the Dungy And Mangini "Belichick And Brady Impositions to Equalize Scoring" rule, (or the D.A.M. B.A.B.I.E.S. rule for short)


Beginning in Week 9:

1. Any team that hosts the Patriots gets spotted 9 points before the opening kickoff
2. Any team that travels to Foxboro to play the Patriots gets spotted 14 points before the opening kickoff
3. If, (actually When) the Patriots build a 24 point lead, at any point in the game, the opposing team will:
--a. Get the ball at the Pats 35 yard line and have 10 plays to try to score, (FG or TD)
-----(i) If they fail to score, the ball will move back to the 35 yard line and they will get a fresh set of 10 plays
-----(ii) If the Patriots Defense scores, (INT/FUM return) during the 10 plays, the score will be immediately nullified and the down replayed
-----(iii) If the team does score, they will kick off to the Patriots and play will continue as normal, (until the lead goes above 24 again).
4. After Tom Brady throws his third TD pass, a new ball will be used whenever the Patriots go on offense
--a. The ball will be slightly bigger and weighted heavier at one end, (so a deep spiral will be next to impossible to throw)
5. After Randy Moss, (or ANY Patriots receiver), catches their second TD, or goes over 100 yards receiving they will
--a. be forced to play the reminder of the game with Crisco Oil on their hands
6. After any Patriot running back scores his second rushing TD, or rushes for more than 100 yards they will
--a. be required to play the remainder of the game with shoes that weigh 10 lbs... each
7. If all else fails, the 2nd string or Practice Squad will be called in to finish the game.
8. If the Patriots are up by 35 points at any point of the game, the game is automatically declared....over.
9. Other ways games will automatically be over against the Patriots:
--a. Teams lose their starting QB, WR, or RB due to injury or ineptness
--b. If a CB AND FS (or SS) are beaten more than 2x on passes thrown to Randy Moss while providing what they thouhgt was double coverage.
--c. Forget to cover Wes Welker or Mike Vrabel and they score.
--d. let a hole open up like the Red Sea wide to let Brady run thru and score 2x.
10. If any teams get blown out like the Redskins any more this season automatically will get a Patriots draft pick to be detremined by thier overall record at the end of the season.

Now THIS is an intelligent thread. Thank you. I sincerely mean it. It's the NFL, not Youth soccer where everyone gets a trophy just for playing.
Winners win because they give it 100% effort, 100% of the time.

If the Colts beat us by 3 touchdowns or more, is anyone going to complain? No, especially not the Patriots. They would take it like men and figure out what they have to do to next time.

Sissies GO HOME!

Signed,
Rabid Patriots Fan

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by Cardinal026

You know, I'm a die hard Redskins fan. My dad made sure I knew all the words to "Hail to the Redskins" before my ABCs. BUT - the Patriots played better, we knew they were going to beat us (I personally was merely hoping for no injuries!) and thats the way the game goes. Chris Cooley was on a local news radio station this morning, and even he said something along the lines that, the Patriots were doing their job, fighting til the end, and anyone else would've done the same thing. I'm disappointed we couldn't have kept up - but you can't blame the other team for still playing the game.

"beat us'?....try annihilate!!!

hehehhe


and of course being in the District...it was FUN walking around and NOT seeing the usuals in that MAROON AND YELLOW....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[DeltAlum]

The new rule(s) is only put into place if illegal videotape of the first half is available for viewing.

[macallan25]

That's another thing. What does everyone expect Bill to do now considering his organization was basically told that all of their wins have been tainted over the years because of videotaping, which was probably something done by EVERY team.

That man is on a mission to destroy every team he plays to prove that his team is more than capable of winning games without "assistance".

[madmax]

Originally Posted by macallan25

I think it is ridiculous that people are whining about the Patriots running up the score. This isn't an SEC vs. Ivy League game. It's professional football. If you are getting mad about a team going for it on 4th and 2 with a 45 point lead.........then do something about it.

..........I'm thinking "play defense".

I agree. If I was coaching I would knock out Brady. We will see if Belicheck is still passing in the 4th quarter and a 50 point lead.

[DaemonSeid]

11. If the Patriots are up by 40 points, the entire team of the opponent is allowed to play on the field at once. If the Patriots score again, that team is banned from playing professional football again.