is it okay to...

[gammazetagrl]

My friend is facing this situation right now and I am curious to what advice u guys might give. She broke up with her Greek boyfriend some months ago and since then she has been able to maintain a platonic relationship (they're not really friends nor enemies)with her ex. Anyway she has gotten to know her ex's brothers and all and one of them has gotten especially close to her. She just recently told me that she and the guy admitted that they had feelings for each other, however right now it's all secret coz they don't know if they should do anything about it...since she used to date one of the other brothers of the same fraternity. Is it okay to date another guy from the same fraternity your ex is from?

[LXA1048]

It is his responsibility to talk to the ex about the situation. It would be completely wrong to keep on the low down, down low, no doubt. Make sure that everything is kosher with his brother.

[dc1]

Originally posted by LXA1048:
It is his responsibility to talk to the ex about the situation. It would be completely wrong to keep on the low down, down low, no doubt. Make sure that everything is kosher with his brother.

I have to completely agree. It's one thing to have feelings for each other; it's another to keep secrets from your brother. This new guy needs to speek with your ex, and tell him of his feelings for you.

best of luck

------------------
Faced with the Divine, I was asked; "What one gift do you seek?"
I answered ever so meekly; "I seek Honor, Truth, Integrity, and Wisdom, yet those are four. How am I to choose?"
The answer came as a pounding whisper; "The four you seek are but one. I grant thee Compassion; for without it the four make none."
Author - me

[mgdzkm433]

Forgive me, but I don't think it's really a 'fraternity business' type thing. If the guy wants to date her he should--and SHOULDN'T have to get 'permission' or talk it over with a brother just because they dated previously. I think this is completely separate from fraternity stuff.

[LXA1048]

He shouldn't have to get permission, but it is a courtesy thing and could keep an awkward situation from arising. It is just better for him to talk with the guy first. If the ex doesn't like it, he can get over it, but at least he was honest.

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by mgdzkm433:
Forgive me, but I don't think it's really a 'fraternity business' type thing. If the guy wants to date her he should--and SHOULDN'T have to get 'permission' or talk it over with a brother just because they dated previously. I think this is completely separate from fraternity stuff.

I somewhat disagree - while it's not really fraternity business per se, it is somewhat uncouth to date an ex's best friend anyway, in any situation, w/out some sort of contact . . . and really this is far more than that (ideally). It'd be like dating a blood brother of an ex - wouldn't you discuss that w/ him? I'd appreciate it, rather than causing a scene later. but hey i've been wrong before