a hypothetical legacy question

[cuteASAbug]

It seems that there are a lot of parents on this board, a lot of whom are greek themselves. My question is: how important is it for your son/daughter to join his/her legacy group? While it would be nice to think that all of our chapters are perfect, we have to be realistic,and realize that some chapters are stronger than others and do things that may be inappropriate or wrong. If your child is rushing at a school where you know your chapter hazes or is on discipline/probation, would you still want them to join your organization, or would you prefer it that he/she joined a different one on campus?

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

It seems that there are a lot of parents on this board, a lot of whom are greek themselves. My question is: how important is it for your son/daughter to join his/her legacy group? While it would be nice to think that all of our chapters are perfect, we have to be realistic,and realize that some chapters are stronger than others and do things that may be inappropriate or wrong. If your child is rushing at a school where you know your chapter hazes or is on discipline/probation, would you still want them to join your organization, or would you prefer it that he/she joined a different one on campus?

Maybe, the problem is that LEGACY so important instead of Just Joining a GLO?

So, a legacy doesn't fit with the local chapter. It is not world ending is it?

So the chapter sucks, they do not fit with the Legacy, it is not the end of the world.

Thank goodness, My own Blood Brother was not My Fraternal GLO Brother. I would have blacked balled him!

If it fits then do it. If it does not fit, then don't. Why be miserable just because you are a Legacy.

[LaneSig]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

It seems that there are a lot of parents on this board, a lot of whom are greek themselves. My question is: how important is it for your son/daughter to join his/her legacy group? While it would be nice to think that all of our chapters are perfect, we have to be realistic,and realize that some chapters are stronger than others and do things that may be inappropriate or wrong. If your child is rushing at a school where you know your chapter hazes or is on discipline/probation, would you still want them to join your organization, or would you prefer it that he/she joined a different one on campus?

I don't have any sons, but both of my nephews (ages 16 and 13) have said that they want to join Sigma Chi when they go to college. Of course, I would be happy if they did and would be at the initiation ceremony, come hell or high water. But, honestly, after having been on GC for a while, I now hope that they find a chapter that they are happy with. If it is Sigma Chi, fantastic. If not, I just hope that they find a place they like and can make an impact. Of course, there are a couple of GLOs that I have jokingly told them I would quit speaking to them if they joined.

[modorney]

I grew up in a blue-collar home, and attended a "regional" college. I joined a fraternity that demographically "fit" me well, from my blue-collar background. But, the school, and the house were focused on the northeast, and, of the 800, or so brothers in my house, I am one of a dozen who made it to the west coast.

Although individual chapters evolve over time, and a given house on one campus can be different from the same letters on a different campus, what is more important is that your son enjoys the people he is with.

My house is small (44 chapters), and doesn't have the national resources to develop a mentoring program like Balanced Man, True Gentlemen, True Brother, etc. I would rather have my son experience a mentoring program, that only a large (200+ chapters) fraternity can provide. Plus, large houses have good alumni chapters, everywhere. My house does not have an alum chapter in America's fifth largest metro - San Francisco. (I know what you are thinking, and I am getting off my keister and organizing one!)

I would want my son to have a good greek experience, but a few of the schools he could possibly attend don't have fraternities. And, he is likely to work in academia, rather than commercial industry, so having an alum network is not as crucial. But, if his campus has fraternities, I would want him to join, but what's important is that he picks good people, not good "letters".

As far as my house, I would like it to merge with, or form a federation with other smaller houses and each house do one aspect of a mentoring program. There are two dozen fraternities in the 30 to 80 size range and, among them, perhaps half a dozen could work together, but each retain identity and tradition.

[DaffyKD]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

It seems that there are a lot of parents on this board, a lot of whom are greek themselves. My question is: how important is it for your son/daughter to join his/her legacy group? While it would be nice to think that all of our chapters are perfect, we have to be realistic,and realize that some chapters are stronger than others and do things that may be inappropriate or wrong. If your child is rushing at a school where you know your chapter hazes or is on discipline/probation, would you still want them to join your organization, or would you prefer it that he/she joined a different one on campus?

My daughter DOES go to a school with a KD chapter. She refused to go through recruitment which was her decision. I would have loved to have her join and would have made sure I was at her initiation. But.... as I told her when she was younger, she had to decide for herself where she felt she belonged should she have gone through rush. KD was the perfect fit for me at that time, that school, with those particular sisters. Had I gone to another school, same school- different time, who knows if I would have joined KD, QRS, XYZ or if I would have joined at all.

Legacy is nice, but I do not feel it should be the be all or end all, then again, I did not got to a southern school, do not live in the south, did not have a mother/sister/aunt who was Greek.

DaffyKD

[Ocalagirl]

I guess I will throw my two cents in and maybe it might be different from another pnm, but here goes:

If my mom had been greek, I would have wanted to join her legacy chapter so she could be at my iniation. I am envious of these these daughters who join their mother's GLO's and have that special bond. The closest I have come is a half-sister who is older and I am not very close to and an aunt who is not involved in her GLO anymore. I would and did not join my legacy chapter through my half-sister last year because I didn't fit in there and because we were not close I did not even put it down. As for my aunt's chapter we will have to wait and see. I just hope every pnm including myself finds their home wherever they may go!

[fraggle]

If my daughter decides to join a GLO, I would love for it to be an ASA chapter. If the chapter in question hazed or was in some kind of trouble, I'd like to think I'd step in as an alumni to help them out of whatever trouble they're in. However, if there was no ASA chapter on her campus (and she didn't want to be a founding sister like her mom) or it wasn't a good fit, I'd support whatever decision she made, as long as she stayed true to herself, and didn't put up with anyone's BS along the way Oh, BTW, none of this is going to happen for at least 16 or 17 years...she's still a baby!!

[BabyPiNK_FL]

I currently have three baby sisters. I love them al and instill pride for my organization in each of them. Basically, what I'm hoping for is at least ONE to go towards my organization. I don't need them all to rush, I know all of them won't, but I'd LOVE if I had at least one of my bio-sisters and at least one of the several daughters I plan on having go to my org. But as long as it's a good fit, I'd be very happy; I mean if they chose to be greek at all I'd still be very ecstatic. (But honestly, I'd better have at least one legacy go to my org. there'll be sooo many of them!)

[DZRose]

I am a legacy, and I have 2 daughters. My mother was very involved as an alumnae, as was my aunt who also was serving on national council at the time of my pledging/initiation. Although I knew my mother wanted me to become a DZ, I never once felt any pressure from her to do so. She always told me it was more important for me to find a place I belonged. My aunt? She would have flipped.

As for my daughters. Of course I would love for them to find the same level of sisterhood with Delta Zeta that I have found. It's amazing to share being a sister with my mother and also being her daughter and friend. Not to mention it gives me someone to talk to sorority issues about. I would love to have that with my girls also. As a Rho Chi (not sure what they're called now) I can't tell you how many girls didn't pledge their mother's sorority simply because their mother said "ABC or nowhere". I have pledged to myself to not do that, and follow the example put forth by my mom and just be involved as an alumnae and show them what DZ has to offer, both in college and after. But honestly, if/when they go to college, if there is a DZ chapter there, they might just not feel like that's the place for them, and although I'd be disappointed, if they chose another group I'd be happy that they found a sisterhood with another sorority. Cause that's what is important.

Of course, buying the t-shirs that say "little DZ" and "Future DZ" and as much pink/green stuff as humanly possible doesn't hurt...

[Benzgirl]

My mother was not in a GLO, Grandmother was from Europe and I have no sisters. But, I had 3 cousins who were in sororities.

I went through rush with an open mind. As it turned out, I wasn't interested in one of my cousin's GLOs (even though she and I are as close to sisters as you can get) and didn't return after the first round. I went to Prefs at the other two. They were my number 1 and 3 choices.

I was on my sorority's number one bid list and pledged. My cousin who was now an alum from another college was thrilled. I received roses from her on my pledge night, she attended several events during my pledge period, was with me at initiation and attended functions with me from time to time, even though that was not where she attended school.

It was great.

I didn't pref that house because of her. I did it because I loved the girls. It was great for her to share these events with me, but I would have loved my sorority just as much if she wasn't affliated.

Bottom line is be happy with whatever decision your children make whether it is the same GLO, different GLO or no Greek at all.

[ladygreek]

It wasn't important at all. I mean just because her grandmother, mother, aunt and cousin were all Deltas meant nothing. We told her she could do what she wanted, we just wouldn't pay her tuition or send her money if she made the wrong decision.














j/k sorta

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Ocalagirl

I guess I will throw my two cents in and maybe it might be different from another pnm, but here goes:

If my mom had been greek, I would have wanted to join her legacy chapter so she could be at my iniation. I am envious of these these daughters who join their mother's GLO's and have that special bond.

You are saying this as a non-greek however. Wanting to join her hypothetical chapter is not the same as meeting people from her GLO, clicking with them, and deliberately choosing them.

Originally Posted by ladygreek

It wasn't important at all. I mean just because her grandmother, mother, aunt and cousin were all Deltas meant nothing. We told her she could do what she wanted, we just wouldn't pay her tuition or send her money if she made the wrong decision.

j/k sorta

I see more of the whole "He/she can join another one, but I won't pay for the 'wrong' decision" mentality from the D9 groups and while I understand the lifelong loyalty to one's GLO, I feel this little twitch of sadness for kids who are pressured by family, or may not join if money is an issue.

[Ocalagirl]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

You are saying this as a non-greek however. Wanting to join her hypothetical chapter is not the same as meeting people from her GLO, clicking with them, and deliberately choosing them.

I see more of the whole "He/she can join another one, but I won't pay for the 'wrong' decision" mentality from the D9 groups and while I understand the lifelong loyalty to one's GLO, I feel this little twitch of sadness for kids who are pressured by family, or may not join if money is an issue.

I totally agree with choosing a chapter based on how you click with people verses wanting to join just because it is your legacy chapter or having pressure put on you to do so. I was just saying as a pnm I would love to have someone to share that experience with.

[AlexMack]

If my daughter is anything like me, chances are she won't go greek and I'm fine with that. All I'd want her to know is that the stereotypes are wrong and greeks aren't evil cliquey people who were in the popular crowd in high school and are now continuing their reign.

It makes me sad to see a really greek family and know that there's immense pressure for the kids to go greek and not to choose the wrong sorority/fraternity. The whole 'I won't pay your dues if you join that chapter!' thing just drops my jaw. I can't imagine ever saying that to my child. I just want them to be happy. If Sigma Kappa does that, fantastic. If another GLO does it, great. If they don't want to join at all, wonderful.
Hell, they don't even have to go to college if they don't want to.

[KSUViolet06]

If my (hypothetical) daughter rushed at a school with a chapter of my sorority and ended up joining a different one, I honestly wouldn't care.

My reasoning is that I'd rather see her happy in a sorority she likes, than in my sorority and unhappy. It also wouldn't make me happy to see my kid in ANY sorority that was doing things like hazing, be it mine or any other on campus.