Please excuse my inexperience with the whole recruitment process, I have a question or several regarding the whole bid procedure and what on earth to do if there seems to be a mismatch. My daughter went through rush at Auburn and received a bid to one of the 16 sororities.
From the general area where we live, there were probably 10 girls rushing, so my daughter was really excited about the process. She went in completely open to all the sororities. We looked at the website, did what it recommended. Got 1 rec. for each of the sororities that were recommended to her and thought we had done what we needed to do. Unfortunately, my daughter is only one of two girls in a family that is dominated by boys and there have been no female relatives to list for legacies. We had no real experience with the whole sorority "thing". We thought, "no problem". She is incredibly accomplished. It would take a page or more to list everything. Same old story I have read in other threads, pretty, popular and personality. She is an outstanding young lady academically, GPA 4.20, saludatorian in a academically impressive prep. school, more awards than room to list. She is an incredible athlete. multiple All-State, multiple State Champion, Player of the Year, Adidas All South winner (10 state region, 5 from state). Recruited by over 25 colleges for her sport, and on and on. Everything on her application should have said "athlete, academic achievement, leader". So on bid day, the sororities that she matched so well with, cut her. We realized after multiple discussions that we didn't know how to "play the game" as well as some of the others. My daughter received a bid from a sorority that had lovely young ladies that seemed from the beginning to love her. She liked them but knew they were not a good match for her, but she was so certain she would be placed with one of the other sororities that embraced athletics and spirituality and academic achievement and she felt she had meshed with so well, she wasn't worried. After all, her #1 told her "we love you and want you and hope you love us too". She placed #3 sorority on her pref. list certain she would receive a bid from one of her 1st or 2nd choices. On bid day she received a bid from sorority #3. She was devastated and after 10 minutes of crying and trying to understand what had happened, she decided to make the best of it, give this sorority a chance and hope for the best. Within 15 minutes of being received by her new sorority, there was talk of the parties, getting "trashed" the frat boys, inquiries about her party habits and such. She is not naive, she just isn't into the party scene. You can't get "trashed" all the time and accomplish what she has.
After several days of non-stop "bonding" the topic remains the same, the girls she has talked to "don't do sports". They do not "match" like the other girls she knows. She is going to try to see if she can make this work. If it doesn't, does she have any "real" options? I wished we had done more to secure multiple recs or whatever it took to have prevented this. Accomplishment, community standing, academics and achievement meant nothing apparently. My daughter is so upset about the way things turned out. The other girls that she knows are not having this experience in their new sororities. Most of them are not into partying either but have found girls that are like them in their sororities. My daughter wished she would have only listed her 2 real choices and just not received a bid.
I am not asking for sympathy, I should have learned more about how this recruitment process worked for her sake, I just need some practical suggestions or advice if any exist, after the fact.
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