Propose or not?

[MIDWESTDIVA]

aRHOgance's question has made me think......

How do you all feel about popping the question?

Halle Berry did it. But things didn't work out too well for her and David.

I'm liberated and all but, I don't think so.

[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited July 23, 2001).]

[TRSimon]

I think it's okay for other people to do it, but I just could not see myself doing it. It must be my Southern upbringing or something. I just believe a man needs to be a man at some point in the relationship.

[aRHOgance]

My mother always told me that if I ever proposed to a man, she would slap me silly. I myself could and would not EVER propose. I can do the whole "I love you" thing first, but like TRSimon said, a man has got to be a man at some pont. I mean, if you feel like you're approaching that point in the relationship, he should definitely propose to you.

[blu_theatrics]

I am completely old-fashioned there....I will drop you a few hints,(bridal magazines, jewlry store shoppiong...etc.)

But yo have to do the asking

[Queencece]

Originally posted by blu_theatrics:
I am completely old-fashioned there....I will drop you a few hints,(bridal magazines, jewlry store shopping...etc.)

But yo have to do the asking

Girl...i know what you mean..i am old- fashioned too!

[Chi_ZETABBW]

A closed mouth never gets fed!
Seriously, I would if I knew he would accept.

[blu_theatrics]

Originally posted by Chi_ZETABBW:
A closed mouth never gets fed!
Seriously, I would if I knew he would accept.

But if you know he would say yes...what is holding him back from asking you?

I don't know, I just feel that a man should lead when you slow dance, should pay for the first date and should propose to you.....and to go a step further he should be finacially stable enough for me to be able to stay at home with the kids if I want....but like I said I'm a bit old-fashioned.....and i know I have probably started something by my last comment...but that's just how i feel.

[TRSimon]

Originally posted by Chi_ZETABBW:
A closed mouth never gets fed!

That might be true sometimes, but there is great wisdom in knowing when to speak and when to be silent. If you have your mouth hangin' open, yelling for food all the time, something bad could fly in (Halle Berry opened her mouth, and you see what that got her- David Justice and all if his issues)...

That being said, I know that we are supposed to be in a modern age and all, but I agree 1922000% with what Blu_theatrics said. Men are always yammering about how they are supposed to be the head of the household. I have no problem with that. It takes RESPONSIBILITY and STABILITY to be the head of the house. Financial stability and responsibility are included.

If a man is going to lead my household, the least he can do is express his intentions where a permanent arrangement is concerned.

Like I said before, I guess it's okay for others, but not for me.

[SweetestDiva]

I couldn't do it. I have trouble even asking a guy out.. I'm just not that fond of rejection. I think marriage is a bigger step for a man than a woman (being that we are mentally planning for that day our entire lives, basically), and I wouldn't want to make him feel like I was pressuring him into something he isn't ready for.

But like everybody else was saying.. shyyyyt, let that man be a man! Just like I have a vision of my wedding, I have a mental picture of the proposal.. and it's him on one knee - not me.

[BlueReign]

I feel like this -- let a man be a man. Don't take that away from him.

[Shelacious]

Originally posted by SweetestDiva:
I have a mental picture of the proposal.. and it's him on one knee - not me.

LOL@SweetestDiva! That's true though. Let him ask...it's the least he can do...

but DO NOT provide me an engagement ring without my input...the dozen flowers (I prefer tulips, bulb based flowers and gerbera daisys to roses, but that's just me) and a simple piece of jewelery (a braclet, earrings, necklace) to commerate the proposal will be just fine. Let me pick the ring, cause I already know what I want .



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Finer Womanhood: the "Cat's Meow" Since 1920

[Icebergslim tha 4]

I would definately have to disagree with letting my future wife pick out the ring. To me, the ring is a symbol of my commitment, love, and what would be an undying trust within our relationship. After all, I am asking YOU! (This is what I have! WILL YOU BE MY WIFE?) The question within itself should back up the meaning of the ring.
By saying that, the relationship should be at the point of security that when he does propose, the ring should make you feel like you are wearing the Hope diamond :-) I feel that picking the ring out before the question, or after, takes away the passion from the man, and yourself for that matter. Let him show you how he feels with what HE has picked out.

[silent1]

I am old fashion. I say let him do the asking.

[aRHOgance]

I agree with Icebergslim-let him pick out the ring. It doesn't even seem appropriate otherwise. If he is proposing-like he should, then he needs to go throw all the motions and that includes picking out the engagement ring. When your birthday comes around, you wouldn't pick out your own gift and tell your man,"Now buy it. This is what I want." Half of the pleasure in receiving a gift from your man is knowing that he took the time out to buy you something that he knew you would enjoy. Hell, if you're getting married, I would hope that he would know your likes and dislikes well enough to actually pick out a ring that is at least 90% in the area of the type of ring you would've picked out for yourself.

[discrete1]

I couldn't possily see myself proposing to a man. It's just my personal opinion. I always thought that was a manly thing. Plus, the idea of a man asking a woman is tantalizing!!!!! romantic!!!! Ladies not that we can't be romantic. I don't think that it is something that I will do, ut you can never say never.