Outside The Greek Circle...

[KO_Pike]

I went to school out of state and joined the Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity and it was the best thing that happend to me. Coming back home, I have gotten a not so welcoming from people. Mixed emotions... now I am looked upon by everyone like some kind of person that parties and drinks till I pass out. I am sure most of you have heard this "why do you pay money just to have friends?".
In addition, I have a gf who is a SK and they say that I have a "sorority girl as a gf" Like this are going to fall apart because all they do is party. I do my best to explain, but I dont think that I should have to, so I just shrug it off. They dont know what goes on.

QUESTION: What should I say or do to make them see things are much deeper than that? They dont know how much my Fraternity and the greek community means to all of us.

[33girl]

A lot of people have dealt with this same situation.

Basically, all you can do is show your old friends that yes, maybe you've changed - but it is a change for the better. Your dues don't pay for friends, they pay for housing and programming and insurance. It sounds like they are jealous that you went away and did something different than they did. Everyone changes and grows when they go to college - unless they keep themselves closed off to any kind of new experience.

Just tell them that while you're still their friend, you won't put up with having something you care about denigrated - any more than they would put up with you saying mean things about their family or career choices. If they can't understand that, they're not really friends at all.

[astroAPhi]

I hate to say it, but this is a constant frustration amongst Greeks, and I'd have to say we're at a loss as to what exactly to "say" to change people's minds.

My little sister was anti-Greek her first year or so and finally joined my sorority her second semester of junior year. Through me and some of the other girls, she saw what it really meant to be part of a sorority and, in turn, how much it meant to us.

Be yourself. Live your ritual every day and it will make you a better person. In time, hopefully your friends will see the change it has made in you (or the changes it HASN'T made), and maybe they'll at least accept it, even if they don't like it.

[AGDee]

I get this from some of my co-workers now who can't believe that I'm still involved in my sorority. They are the same co-workers who think any team building retreats, etc are sheer torture. One of them even pledged and initiated a sorority but disaffiliated because there were too many rules. I simply tell them that some people are "joiners" and some are not and that I enjoy being part of an organization and helping to ensure the continued success of that organization.

I do make a point to mention some things... Like, my mom just started getting Meals on Wheels and one of my co-workers had some questions about it because she was thinking a relative of hers could use it. I used that opportunity to mention that an Alpha Gam founded Meals on Wheels. I mentioned to them that I got an emergency grant when I had surgery and was only getting 60% of my pay while on medical leave. As a single mom, it was impossible to make ends meet on 60% of my salary and our Foundation gave me a "SIS" grant to help in that situation. One of our departments were selling "casual day" stickers, to wear jeans and sneakers to work, for the JDF walk coming up in September. I mentioned then that our alumnae club and junior circle were participating in the walk because diabetes is our national philanthropy.

By bringing it up casually, and in a positive light, I hope to make them see it a little less negatively than they did before. All I can do is be a positive example of AGD so that (as our purpose says) "This shall be my purpose, that those who know me may esteem Alpha Gamma Delta for her attainments, revere her for her purposes and love her for her womanhood". By being a good representative of AGD, I hope to be a good representative for all sororities out there.

Dee

[33girl]

Originally posted by AGDee
I get this from some of my co-workers now who can't believe that I'm still involved in my sorority. They are the same co-workers who think any team building retreats, etc are sheer torture.

But team building retreats ARE sheer torture.

[AGDee]

I love em! If they want to pay me to throw beach balls around a room and do puzzles, that's AOK with me! I'm a team building activity geekstress! I guess that comes from 13 years of running those kinds of activities on psych units as an Occupational Therapist!

Dee

[adpiucf]

I agree with 33! I hate team building retreats -- or at least the ones from my old company! The vast majority of my former office were ex-college athletes (who woulda thought?) and then... there's me... I'm the unathletic, screaming fan in the stands who makes pretty signs. And my boss, every quarter would sigh and say, "But adpiucf, you LOOK like you'd be good at sports!"

Fast metabolism.... I'm really a cream puff.

And if your co-workers are teasing you about your alumnae involvement, and it gets to a point where it is a bit much, open your mouth!!! Say, "What I do in my after work time really doesn't have relevance to what I do here. Please stop. You're making me feel really uncomfortable at work."

Nothing shuts people up like fear of a harrassment suit.

And if they don't stop, talk to your boss about your co-worker's unhealthy attachment to your community volunteerism and how it is making you uncomfortable at work. That will nip it right there.

It's not tattling. It's called ZIP IT.

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

Originally posted by KO_Pike
QUESTION: What should I say or do to make them see things are much deeper than that? They dont know how much my Fraternity and the greek community means to all of us.

I think this is your best way to reply: http://www.pikes.org/wourcreed.html

[Tom Earp]

OMG, can totally relate to this.

Been doing this for 40 Years.

Went General Assembly, My First, 2 weeks ago.

Wow, you must have partied like crazy!

BS, Left room at 7:00 AM, got back at 10:00 PM. Only time out of the Hotel was a smoke break.

Boy did I have fun. Had a beer in the hotel bar one night and off again.

Oh, hell yes do I get pissed about all you Greeks do is party!

Then I tell them about Our Great North American Food Drive, the biggest in the Nation, Western Week, Hot Tub A Thon, that is jsut us.

Some do a teeter Thon, and water melon fest.

That is Just LXA, not counting all of the Other Greek Organizatoins.

Damn, I hate stupid people!

[AGDee]

Originally posted by adpiucf
And if your co-workers are teasing you about your alumnae involvement, and it gets to a point where it is a bit much, open your mouth!!! Say, "What I do in my after work time really doesn't have relevance to what I do here. Please stop. You're making me feel really uncomfortable at work."

Nothing shuts people up like fear of a harrassment suit.

And if they don't stop, talk to your boss about your co-worker's unhealthy attachment to your community volunteerism and how it is making you uncomfortable at work. That will nip it right there.

It's not tattling. It's called ZIP IT.

LOL.. Believe it or not, these are my "friends" who I eat lunch with every day. They just don't get the greek thing, they are otherwise decent people.

Dee

[pHiSiG cHiCkAdE]

I deal with this crap all the time. Most of the time it is just made to be funny/cute but people have commented about how now I am the "sorority girl." My family has made comments that imply all my sorority membership means is beer and parties. When people find out I'm in a sorority and they are unfamiliar with greek life this look comes upon their faces that I can't describe. It's almost like "oo it's one of those type."

It's very annoying.

[kandy36]

it was hard for me at work bc they would always accuse me of being drunk or hungover just bc i am in a sorority. also people that i was friends with way before i thought of joining are no longer my friends bc they thought that i have changed or that i have no time for them which is bs. but idk..they just dont understand

[TSteven]

Originally posted by 33girl
A lot of people have dealt with this same situation.

Basically, all you can do is show your old friends that yes, maybe you've changed - but it is a change for the better. Your dues don't pay for friends, they pay for housing and programming and insurance. It sounds like they are jealous that you went away and did something different than they did. Everyone changes and grows when they go to college - unless they keep themselves closed off to any kind of new experience.

Just tell them that while you're still their friend, you won't put up with having something you care about denigrated - any more than they would put up with you saying mean things about their family or career choices. If they can't understand that, they're not really friends at all.

I agree with 33girl's post. I would also be sure to not be argumentative or defensive about my membership when discussing it. If they don't get it, or care to get it, then no need to get into a discussion that isn't going to change anyone's perceptions.

Or you can always just reply with a hardy "Hell yes I'm a Pike!" and leave it at that.

[AndrewNickatina]

I dont really care about people who hold somethin against fraternities and sororities. My parents dont care because they respect that I'm an individual and I can make choices for myself. If they were the wrong decisions then I would learn. But to this day I do not regret joining Kappa Alpha Order. If you feel like theres no place for you in the Greek System thats probably a good reason to be bitter and assume that we pay for friends.

[MysticCat]

Originally posted by 33girl
But team building retreats ARE sheer torture.

You got that right!