The Proverbial Ugly Duckling?

[Symbal]

It's mid rush week, one our break day here, and I think I've found my two choices, and I'm hoping they think the same of me, but I've always suffered from what some may call fragile self esteem. It's a by-product of high school in which I was not the top rung of the social ladder.

It hit me hard yesterday looking at all the glamour queens and upper-class girls running around, while I'm a little plainer and of different tastes. I'm more into a dark style, gothic if you will, but I feel I dress fine (skirts, nice blouses, tasteful hair cut, even if it is black. Tasteful makeup. Etc.) I'm a little introverted but I come out into the open air in good company. But I've felt almost intimidated by some of the sisters and the presence of other rushees. I don't let it affect my own presentation, but it does trouble me now and then.

But I always think "What if they don't like me? What if I don't appeal to any of their tastes? I wonder what they think of me? I hope they are not put off by my appearance. I just hope they think I am worth their time..."

Needed to get that off my shoulders...thanks.

[PenguinTrax]

If you think you are worth their time, they will see that. It makes all the difference. It's about what is inside you, not outside. Truly.

[FSUZeta]

there are plenty of girls in sororities who were not in the "popular" group, so you are not alone.

as to the goth look, i am not familiar with your campus, so i could not make a comment on how the sororities will react to that. hopefully they are all more concerned with the "real" you, not the superficial you, and that "you" will shine thru. best wishes!!

[adpiucf]

I'm going to be blunt. There's a difference between wearing all-black and being Goth. If you dress like a goth chick: all black, fishnets and platform shoes, black nail polish and over dramatic make-up, people are going to think you're a freak and not someone who fits into any kind of group, least of all a sorority. If you're in the former category where you just gravitate toward black clothes, it's not the same thing.

Yes, there are plenty of girls in sororities who are not blond barbies, but they also fit into some kind of conventional norm-- or managed to pull it off during recruitment!

Enjoy the rest of the week, add some color to the next round of your recruitment wardrobe if you're feeling self-conscious about the all-black, and go into this process to make friends. At the end of the day, if you're a goth chick, you're not going to fit into most of the sorority chapters I have observed. If you're just a lady who's into black clothing, again, that's completely different. My former roommate is in that category-- even her bridesmaids wore black and silver and she wears only black, white and tan!

Something tells me by the recruitment you're having that you are not the "goth chick" type-- put your fears aside-- the week will soon be over and you can get back to the important stuff: worrying about classes and what to wear out on the town! And maybe shopping for a pink skirt or a blue dress to wear to a sorority meeting. LOL.

[Designergal3]

Hi there chica!

Don't worry about it. just BE yourself. Find a house you feel you will be of importance to and a house of women that you can see yourself just lounging around in your PJs as well as women you can spend your social time with. my sorority has alot of the beautiful (mostly brunette) socialite looking girls AND we have girls who're 'plainer'. The girls in my house are different from the other sororities on campus because there's just some sort of special flame that burns inside each woman and it is apparent in the way they carry through life.

Sororities, if you're finding the right ones, SHOULD be caring about the woman who's inside the body because no one wants a 'beautiful' sister who's personality is... i guess... off.

So what i'm trying to tell you, just BE yourself.

[SoCalGirl]

We had a goth chic in our chapter. We all loved her.

[LouisaMay]

Aw, sweetie...years later, I am still asking myself the same questions. I'm not "goth," but I know that fashion wasn't my strong point as an 18 year old. I remember running around like crazy trying to find things to wear for rush after I learned at orientation that you had to dress a certain way (I had no idea!). As time goes on, you will probably lose all the second guessing about what people think. At least I have (to some extent).

Be yourself. If you are cut because your image doesn't fit a particular chapter, then trust that the sisters knew what they were doing. You probably would have felt out of place in the long run.

Good luck! I'm pullin' for ya.

[UGAalum94]

Back when I was in school, I always liked it that my chapter has some folks who didn't look "typically greek," so your appearance may make you stand out in a positive way too.

Here's the thing I think you have to ask yourself, "Are the choices I make in terms of my appearance a fundamental reflection of who I am?" If the answer is yes, then keep rocking your look and know that if you get cut because of it, the group didn't share your values.

If the answer is no, then feel free to wear what everybody else is wearing so you don't tempt people to judge you for statements that you're not really making.

When I was younger, I cared about what my clothes projected about me, but as I get older I simply spend more time asking myself "is this appropriate for work?"

[EGAOPi]

If you feel like you can connect with them despite feeling like you look & act somewhat differently, then they may feel the same for you.
What makes someone attractive is CONFIDENCE. No matter what you look like, if you carry yourself well and you like yourself, others will like you. They notice that sort of thing.
I can't say that there are any "gothic" girls in chapters at my school, but there are definitely a handful of girls that are a little punky-plugs, lip rings, some tattoos, unconventional style of clothing--but they are incredibly cute, sweet and fit in wonderfully with their chapters.
Some girls will probably look down on your for not fitting in their mold, but there are chapters that are going to love you for who you are and know that you will be an asset to that chapter.
If you don't feel comfortable at any of these homes, just wait it out. If you get a bid, they probably really love you and you will grow to be comfortable around them.

[DSTCHAOS]

Good luck and above all else, and regardless of anything else, be comfortable in your own skin.

[adpiucf]

Old thread. She didn't pledge. Check the other posts and the date of the OP.

[FSUZeta]

every adpi that i know(and i know plenty) are lovely, gracious women. adpiucf is certainly among them. you are waaaaay out of line
kxagirlie, and this is not a wise way to introduce yourself to a new group or chatroom.

kxagirlie, sometimes the truth hurts-someone who is a true goth chick may be admired for her individuality(except that most goths dress similarly, so how individual is it really?) but it would be on the rare southern campus where she would receive a bid to join a sorority. she would be treated nicely and politely, which is more than i can say for your post.

[Jimmy Choo]

Way to wreck a thread KXAgirlie!!

[Miss{BooperDoo}]

This is sorta funny how the original post was almost a year ago, the girl never reposted and all this fighting continued. *giggles like mad*


Hope everyones having a rad day!!

Originally Posted by Miss{BooperDoo}

This is sorta funny how the original post was almost a year ago, the girl never reposted and all this fighting continued. *giggles like mad*


Hope everyones having a rad day!!

That's what happens when people don't check dates on threads. The best is when people offer rush tips to individuals seeking advice from 1999.