The kids are great, it's the parents that bother me

agger_rob · #1 12-05-2002, 03:12 PM

Ok, so I work with kids for a living, doing before and after school programs with them. Some of my friends have a hard time seeing me working and getting along with kids because I can be very blunt about things. I was having this conversation with one of my friends from the house this morning and the line came out of my mouth, "the kids are great, it's the parents that bother me." I explained how some parents just seem to be delinquent and rely too heavily on us to raise their kids.

But for some reason, this has been on my mind all day. You would think that kids learn most of their thinking from either their peers or their parents right? And some of the kids have said some pretty racist and derogatory things lately. One kid referred to one of the new counselors as "the black one," two boys told an asian girl that her grandpa was a "gook" and a percentage of them are constantly referring to things as "gay" and "retarded." (Granted, I've said those two from time to time, but not when I was in first grade and just got done playing with a mentally handicapped child.)

My question is, what goes through parents minds when they say things like that in front of their kids? I could have sworn our society was a little more culturally minded than that.

Sorry about the rant, I just had to get this off my chest.

Dionysus · #2 12-05-2002, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by agger_rob
Ok, so I work with kids for a living, doing before and after school programs with them. Some of my friends have a hard time seeing me working and getting along with kids because I can be very blunt about things. I was having this conversation with one of my friends from the house this morning and the line came out of my mouth, "the kids are great, it's the parents that bother me." I explained how some parents just seem to be delinquent and rely too heavily on us to raise their kids.

But for some reason, this has been on my mind all day. You would think that kids learn most of their thinking from either their peers or their parents right? And some of the kids have said some pretty racist and derogatory things lately. One kid referred to one of the new counselors as "the black one," two boys told an asian girl that her grandpa was a "gook" and a percentage of them are constantly referring to things as "gay" and "retarded." (Granted, I've said those two from time to time, but not when I was in first grade and just got done playing with a mentally handicapped child.)

My question is, what goes through parents minds when they say things like that in front of their kids? I could have sworn our society was a little more culturally minded than that.

Sorry about the rant, I just had to get this off my chest.

My explanation-Either they don't care if their children repeat it or they are too naive not to believe their children will.

DeltAlum · #3 12-05-2002, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by agger_rob
My question is, what goes through parents minds when they say things like that in front of their kids?

Not very damned much.

They should take heed of the old saying, "Be sure your brain is engaged before putting your mouth in gear."

justamom · #4 12-05-2002, 04:45 PM

Dionysis-My explanation-Either they don't care if their children repeat it or they are too naive not to believe their children will.

Oooooooooh-right on the money!

Grandpa always said, "Little pictures have big ears."
Have to agree with Delt Alum as well- "Be sure your brain is engaged before putting your mouth in gear."

DeltaSigStan · #5 12-05-2002, 04:49 PM

When I worked at my old site, there was an eighth grader who should have been in 9th grade, but constant suspensions and straight F report cards did their toll.

When the principal talked to his parents, they said the following:

"We don't care about his education because his football career will take him all the way..."

Never mind that only 1% of high school students recieve some kind of scholarship, never mind that maybe only 10% of college athletes make it to the pro level...I'd like to see him make it, tear his ACL his first season, and basically piss whatever first year salary he makes because I know that he won't be smart enough to hire people to take care of his money wisely for him.

Oh, and he's a lineman, some of the smartest men in professional sports.....good luck Troy!

carnation · #6 12-05-2002, 06:03 PM

Agger_rob, welcome to the world of working with children. You're learning why there's such a high burnout rate of employees in that field.

Teachers see it day after day. There are so many parents who never should've had kids. Not just the grossly abusive ones, but those--and some are educated and upper middle class--who basically leave the raising of their kids to teachers or others. And once the kids are teenagers, they never know where the kids are.

Parents like this are why we can't keep leaders in Scouting. These parents will leave their child at your house for 4 hours after every meeting without asking--or they won't lift a finger to help but they'll scream at you if they don't think their child is having a perfect Scouting experience.

And don't even get me started on parents from all walks of life who brush off the need for education. When I taught high school, there were several who would let their kids lay out of class, even a test, to get their nails done or go hunting and then write an excuse saying they'd been sick. These are the same kinds of parents who go ballistic if their kids make bad grades after missing 10 days of class and blame it on the teacher.

pinkyphimu · #7 12-05-2002, 07:51 PM

Quote:

[i] These are the same kinds of parents who go ballistic if their kids make bad grades after missing 10 days of class and blame it on the teacher. [/B]

this is absolutely the truth!!! i totally love this thread bc i am in the middle of a horrific IEP mess. the previous teacher sucked....and she knew that she was leaving when she put the ieps together, so she wrote terrible goals and objectives. i inherited this mess....and now the mom is dragging this on and on and on....and every time we change things, she wants to change even more things! tomorrow is our 5th meeting since the start of school and i am more than thrilled about it...(do you hear the sarcasm)!!!

agger_rob · #8 12-05-2002, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
Agger_rob, welcome to the world of working with children. You're learning why there's such a high burnout rate of employees in that field.

Teachers see it day after day. There are so many parents who never should've had kids. Not just the grossly abusive ones, but those--and some are educated and upper middle class--who basically leave the raising of their kids to teachers or others. And once the kids are teenagers, they never know where the kids are.

A few of us at work decided to get a law passed where guys get snipped at 13 and take parenting classes throughout high school and take a test whereupon they can get it reattached. It's a little far afetched, but it just might work. If we could only get the funding for it...

Imthechamp · #9 12-06-2002, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by agger_rob

A few of us at work decided to get a law passed where guys get snipped at 13 and take parenting classes throughout high school and take a test whereupon they can get it reattached. It's a little far afetched, but it just might work. If we could only get the funding for it...

Yeah, like it's always the guy's fault

What about all the whores who have 3-4 kids with different dads? I think if women wouldn't open their legs so often, this wouldn't be such a problem.

agger_rob · #10 12-06-2002, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Imthechamp

Yeah, like it's always the guy's fault

What about all the whores who have 3-4 kids with different dads? I think if women wouldn't open their legs so often, it wouldn't be such a big problem.

I'm not pointing the finger at anyone, the surgery is just easier to reverse on the male