How do you discourage "acting out"?

[SassyPantsAGD]

How do you all discourage your members from acting out?

The officers in our chapter have a big problem with members not wanting to cooperate with activities when they are told to do something.

i.e. Deliberately stating they will come to events dressed inappropriately
excuse: I'm an individual but telling everyone else that they are doing it in spite of the VP Recruitment


Its easy to say come prepared or you will not be allowed to attend the event and be fined...but in all my times working with students there are far better ways to motivate members than just slapping a fine to it.

I'm trying to give some advice to my chapter as one of their advisors...I tried searching many ways and couldn't find anything else relative...maybe I didn't have the right keyword

[Canadian]

I was at a Mormon dance with my LDS (Mormon) girlfriend and a couple arrived dressed in gangsta attire. This is Southern Alberta, which is like southern Georgia for the most part. They showed up dressed like that just to flaunt the rules.

The best way to deal with disruptions is to quantify them and apply the rules equally. If you can't wear shorts to an event, it needs to apply to the prez as well as the oft-disruptive initiate.

I have a Brother who refuses to wear a necktie. He's got quite high in low level corporate management and keeps a clip-on in his briefcase in case he's being threatened with firing. He even refused to wear a tie to my initiation ceremony. Not because he coulden't afford one or knew how to tie one, but because he felt like being an individual. His effect in the end was that everybody knew he had a blatant disrespect for the rules and for other members and he generally got treated the same, not specially.

Does it tick me off as an alumnus that a member won't wear a tie, or wears cargo pants with a tie, or capris, etc. Yes. But I pick my battles.

For the record when the dress code regulations came into effect requring long pants, closed toe shoes and collarred shirts, I made my opinion known (to great applause) that the code should read "clothing should be suitable and respectful" but we had to actually set limits because people would bend the rules.

It's hard, but sometimes you have to let people be jerks and make fools of themselves.

Thomas

[pledgemaster]

^^ I really doubt that alberta is anything like South Georgia.

Even if you think fines won't work, they always have in my chapter. Keep giving them a fine and see how long it takes for them to change

[Elephant Walk]

I was about to say, how is Southern Georgia and Southern Alberta anything alike?

Is that especially conservative part of Canada? They have cowboys out there don't they?

[Jim_Hoegaarden]

Seeing as the question hasn't been answered...

Does your house have an equivilence to a "standards board"? If so, use it. Fine them (for some it works, and is the only thing that works, others it doesn't, but you need to make a system of fines, that is uniform and fair to everyone), have them do community service, put them up for pin pull for multiple infractions, and so on and so forth. Also, you might consider a little tougher pledgeship. I know there are some sororities on my campus that are not very good, and their pledgeship is virtually non-existant. But the sororities that are good on my campus have tougher pledgeships, and this seems to be trend, at least among Southern sororities. Also, if those girls don't have the respect for their alums to not at least dress appropriately, does that not raise a red flag on whether they should continue being a member of that sorority?

[LPIDelta]

If someone is dressed inappropriately, you send them home. Part of participating is being dressed accordingly. Even if its a honest mistake, you still send them home.

You send them home with the expectation that they will return dressed approrpriately. If they do not, then it is handled as if they missed the event, however your chapter does that.

Sometimes people make idle threats with no intention of following through. I would suggest if a threat has been made to not participate properly, that the VP or Member at Large approach the offending sister and just say, "You know I value your feedback and I heard you weren't happy with how we decided to dress for X event--can I ask why?"

For the chapter I advise, I have taught them a phrase that comes in very handy in these situations--"it's not personal, it's just business. And personal should not affect the business." When we have situations as you described, they women will say that to each other and it usually works to get things back on track. But it's something I have been reminding them of for years....

[Kansas City]

I advise a chapter too. I'd suggest giving the individual members an opportunity to create the look for the events. Your exec board should not be the only ones making decisions in your chapter. Perhaps you spread the responsibility and give others the opportunity to make decisions. Having a rotating "T-Shirt Chair" sounds silly but it might encourage members to think outside of the box, make decisions that are in the best interest of the chapter, and (most importantly) get them to buy-into wearing the established dress code for an event. Your trouble makers will be less likely to create problems if they are the ones creating the look.

[ASTalumna06]

As I say with most things, have incentives! For each event that a member comes prepared to, they earn points. The person with the most points at the end of the semester wins something.

Or... don't tell them that they can't stay at the event that they dressed inappropriately for that day (because sometimes, they might not care much about that event, which is why they're purposely acting out)... instead, tell them that they can't attend the next social event (mixer, sleepover, formal), whatever it happens to be.

And if it becomes a continued problem, tell them that after so many offenses they can't hold a position and/or they can't vote at meetings.

We also have a Tau Honor Council consisting of members of the org and advisors, and usually when a sister has to meet with them she gets the picture that things are not ok.

It sucks when you have to "punish" fellow members, but when they act out, it's not fair to the people who actively participate in the way that they should. Sometimes you have to take it to an extreme if you want to see results.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by SassyPantsAGD

How do you all discourage your members from acting out?

The officers in our chapter have a big problem with members not wanting to cooperate with activities when they are told to do something.

i.e. Deliberately stating they will come to events dressed inappropriately
excuse: I'm an individual but telling everyone else that they are doing it in spite of the VP Recruitment


Its easy to say come prepared or you will not be allowed to attend the event and be fined...but in all my times working with students there are far better ways to motivate members than just slapping a fine to it.

I'm trying to give some advice to my chapter as one of their advisors...I tried searching many ways and couldn't find anything else relative...maybe I didn't have the right keyword

Is this a problem with a certain clique within the chapter, or is it widespread?

If it's a clique, I'm guessing that they are upset they didn't get on exec board or want the sorority in general to go a way that it isn't going now (i.e. they want to be more studious and think the sorority is too social). I would suggest meeting with this group and asking them why they think the path the sorority is on is so dangerous to its future. Sometimes people just want to vent.

If it's across the board - all sorts of different people doing this - I would say that your exec board needs a crash course in tact and managing people.

Some people you just want to do things for them and please them. Some people just rub you the wrong way and if they tell you A, even if you agree with every fiber of your being with A, you're going to say Z. If your EB is filled with the latter, nothing is going to get done except maybe the chapter shutting down.