Candle Pass, Lavaliere, Dropped

[KajunDid]

I'm new to the board so I'm not sure if this is the right thread to post under. Forgive me if I am wrong. I also looked for a thread similar to this and couldn't find what I am looking for.

I just got lavaliered/dropped by my boyfriend. Yay! Candle pass! Dropping someone is a huge deal on my campus. It's seen as a pre-engagement sorta thing.

I know the routine of the candle pass-how many times it goes around and what each rotation means-but I don't know the set up of the ceremony. Mainly, who makes the candle itself? Is it your big, lil, your best friend, or yourself? Also, who tells the president a candle pass is going to happen? Do you just pick a person?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a long time so every time there is a candle pass people assume it's for me. I want to make it somewhat of a surprise by limiting the number of people I tell. But I don't want to hurt anyones feelings by not telling them before. If there is an unofficial rule on who makes the candle, it would help me a lot.

[33girl]

These things are different for every sorority, but I know we just had a plain candle with a ribbon around it. Making a candle puts me in mind of those giant things in churches that you pay for.

This is also different, but for our chapter, usually someone very close to the person, or sometimes the person herself, tells the chaplain (or whatever you call your ritual person). Like any other chaplain, she's expected to keep her mouth shut until the ceremony. Ditto if the person you tell is the president.

[AZTheta]

Paging Blondie93! She just gave me invaluable help on organizing a candle pass at the chapter I advise.

And shhhhh! don't tell anyone except your President. You want it to be a surprise.

[KSUViolet06]

When we did them, someone close to the sister would put a note in the president's mailbox saying "Candlepass at next meeting."

The person who left the note would be responsible for buying and decorating that sister's candle. The candle was decorated to reflect that sister and her fiance.

Ex: When my Lil Sis' best friend got engaged, my Lil Sis left the note for the president and decorated her candle (in a Steeler's theme.)

[OneHeartOneWay]

Our chapter was similar to those above. You told one person, and that person made your candle (although ours were not made to represent the person- they were more sorority specific- lavender and maroon, pearls, etc). Usually the candle would just "show up," usually a few days before meeting, to really get everyone's curiosity up! The sister who made it would sneak it on a table in the foyer, or at the mailboxes, or, if day of, conceal it in a bag to sneak to the president before meeting. You tried to avoid letting anyone know who made the candle, as usually that would be an indication of who's candlelight it was.

[FSUZeta]

at my chapter, we left an anonymous note on the presidents desk and she made sure a candle and matches were downstairs for the ceremony which took place after dinner. our candles were not decorated, but a fancy sign(designed at the discretion of the passer) was posted to notify the chapter that there would be a candlepass that night.

at my daughters chapter, they have beautifully decorated candles that are made by someone close to the "passer". like oneheartoneway, they tried to decorate it secretly, so that no one would guess whose candlepass it was. the candle was decorated by the big sister, the little sister or a close friend in the sorority-it was up to the passer to ask whomever she wanted.

congratulations!

[Alumiyum]

We just told one person who would let the president know there would be one at ___ day and ____ time, and our candle was plain. Super simple.

[SWTXBelle]

I wish Gamma Phi would go back to a tradition I found in an old "The Crescent" - you announced a candle pass by putting a big ol' box of chocolates in the house!

[aephi alum]

I was my chapter's ritualist for a while.

We always had some candles on hand, so we used one of those.

Generally, whoever had been lavaliered or pinned or gotten engaged would notify the ritualist directly, or would notify the president who would then notify the ritualist. The ritualist then announced at the start of chapter that there was going to be a candle pass, and she would light the candle and start it off.

I managed to confuse the hell out of my sisters when I had my own candle pass for getting engaged. I was ritualist at the time, so I was both the beginning and the end of the circle. They couldn't figure out if I was engaged or pregnant.

[KSUViolet06]

I seriously LOVED candle passes.

Sometimes it was obvious who it was.

Other times, it took some serious sleuthing and thinking to try and figure out who.

We'd sit around the table before meeting and guess.

Ex: "Well, Suzy and Bobby have been dating for 3 years, they're both graduating and he is moving for law school. Maybe it's her? Or maybe Jenny is getting lavaliered? They've been together for a year and she was just named their sweetheart."

Fun times. lol.

[BraveMaroon]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I seriously LOVED candle passes.

I did, too. I was completely surprised by my big when she did hers. I mean, no clue.

I never had one because I didn't get engaged til I was 30, and never dated any fraternity men in college.

At our house, the intended would send a single red rose to the house with a note that read "Candlelight Tonight". It was always fun. There were always a slew of them after Summer Break and Winter Break.

[Alumiyum]

I had one but it wasn't very surprising (I'd worn my lavaliere to a NYE party and forgot about Facebook and pictures) to about half the chapter but they usually were and it was fun to sit around and try to figure out who it was going to be.

[IrishLake]

I loved Candlelights! We'd do the same thing, try to guess who. When I had mine for getting engaged, I only told my Little, and she made me a candle (I still have it). She had it arranged at the house one night after a meeting. When it came to me, I actually passed it to her, she then acted like she was going to pass it on, and then she turned around and passed it back to me, then I blew it out. I surprised everyone.

[madoug]

The biggest surprise my chapter had was when the sister had a florist deliver the candle in a fresh flower arrangement so there was no one else who knew, but the sister. The florist she used was about 12 miles from campus so that offered no clue. For our candle passing, the President always started it.

[PsiXiOmicron]

what is a candle pass?