Trust

[Buttonz]

After you have been seriously hurt by an ex, how do you trust someoen new nto to hurt you again?

[_Opi_]

Originally Posted by Buttonz

After you have been seriously hurt by an ex, how do you trust someoen new nto to hurt you again?

It's different for everyone. I look at it this way, I kind of don't forget, Ideally, I'd like to trust the new guy (if he earned it), but I figure that he is also capable of that same kinda hurt (or worse).

[KAY10]

Originally Posted by Buttonz

After you have been seriously hurt by an ex, how do you trust someoen new nto to hurt you again?

You can't. The new person has to earn your trust and even then that guy may do the same thing. I guess it's like gambling, just with your feelings instead.

[Buttonz]

I'm just so afraid that, when the time is right, not being able to trust a new guy after I've been hurt as bad as I was. I've been hurt before my current ex, but not nearly as bad.

[KAY10]

Originally Posted by Buttonz

I'm just so afraid that, when the time is right, not being able to trust a new guy after I've been hurt as bad as I was. I've been hurt before my current ex, but not nearly as bad.

It happens to all of us. I just said the hell with it and stayed single.

[AchtungBaby80]

I don't know the answer to that question. I guess it's one of those that you just have to say is different for everyone and leave it at that. I have a hard time trusting people--not because of anything specific that happened, and not just guys, but people in general. So, I operate on the innocent-until-proven-guilty idea...I try to trust people until they give me a reason not to.

[valkyrie]

You just do it.

[Buttonz]

Originally Posted by KAY10

It happens to all of us. I just said the hell with it and stayed single.

Might be easier....

[ProspeKt]

What's that??

[texas*princess]

I think a new guy should be a clean slate. You shouldn't punish him just because another evil male broke your heart. It's hard, but it must be done, otherwise you'll morph into the crazy-jealous girlfriend, and no one likes that

However, I would never trust a guy AGAIN if it was the same guy who cheated.

[AGDee]

I agree with the texas princess. And I also think that if you still feel scary and damaged from the last relationship, that maybe you should wait to pursue another one until you are feeling more trusting again.

[KAY10]

Originally Posted by AchtungBaby80

I don't know the answer to that question. I guess it's one of those that you just have to say is different for everyone and leave it at that. I have a hard time trusting people--not because of anything specific that happened, and not just guys, but people in general. So, I operate on the innocent-until-proven-guilty idea...I try to trust people until they give me a reason not to.

That's true.

[KAY10]

Originally Posted by Buttonz

Might be easier....

To me it is. For you it may not be though. Everyone is different.

[33girl]

Just realize that every person is a different person. If you buy one lipstick that doesn't work it doesn't mean you should never buy lipstick ever again. (Yes it's all about makeup for me, LOL)

I will completely agree w/ what t*p said and say DON'T make the new person pay for what the old person did. Don't feel like you have to use the whole male gender first because ONE male used you. If you have any thoughts like that going through your head, you shouldn't be dating at all...no matter how "casual" you may think things are or "he's a big boy, he can take care of himself." Guys can be hurt a lot more than you think and if you catch someone innocent in your crossfire, you're going to have a hard time sleeping. (Or you should, anyway.)

[Buttonz]

It's not like I'm looking for someone new...but I'm just afraid that when the time is right, I'll wind up not being able to full trust someone new and wind up hurtig him without meaning to.