Obesity

tunatartare · #1 07-18-2006, 02:00 PM

Creating a new thread so as not to hijack the Raven Symone thread:

A friend of mine and I were having this discussion on Friday night. With restaurant portions getting bigger and bigger, obesity is a big problem in America and can lead to heart disease and death. If you have a friend that smokes, it is considered socially responsible and acceptable to tell that person to quit, yet if you have a friend who's obese (not overweight but obese), if you tell that person that (s)he needs to lose some weight for medical reasons, then you are being insulting and a bad friend. Do you think this will change? If you were obese, would you want your friends to tell you to do something about it? Discuss.

_Lisa_ · #2 07-18-2006, 02:08 PM

I'd prefer to hear it from my doctor. Who is my friend to say that I'm obese or just overweight? I have an unhealthy idea of overweight vs. obese...to me if you're overweight you might as well just be obese. So you definitely wouldn't want me to push my unhealthy idea of overweight vs. obese on someone who could only stand to lose 4-5 lbs.

Encourage your friends to be healthier by example, you don't necessarily have to call them out.

KSigkid · #3 07-18-2006, 02:20 PM

I think that telling a friend that they are obese will, for the foreseeable future, be something that will make the friend uncomfortable and end up causing some sort of disagreement.

Where my real issue lies is with situations like this:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/07/05....ap/index.html

If we get to a point where doctors can't use the word "obese," or must tread extra lightly when discussing weight issues with patients, I think we've gone too far.

tunatartare · #4 07-18-2006, 02:25 PM

If I were obese, it would hurt a lot more to hear it from my friends than from my doctor. However, I only see my doctor once every year or so for a check up, so she doesn't know that much about my day-to-day activities and such. My friends would know my eating habits better and would be able to provide me with examples and suggestions.

valkyrie · #5 07-18-2006, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLPDaisy

If you have a friend that smokes, it is considered socially responsible and acceptable to tell that person to quit, yet if you have a friend who's obese (not overweight but obese), if you tell that person that (s)he needs to lose some weight for medical reasons, then you are being insulting and a bad friend. Do you think this will change? If you were obese, would you want your friends to tell you to do something about it? Discuss.

I don't agree that it's socially responsible and acceptable to tell someone to quit smoking. Telling your friends what to do is never a good idea, period.

If I were obsese, I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to be able to figure that out on my own without any friends telling me.

Rudey · #6 07-18-2006, 02:37 PM

The easiest way to deal with it is to not be friends with fatties.

-Rudey

_Lisa_ · #7 07-18-2006, 02:39 PM

Obesity isn't something that just springs out of nowhere. Your doctor should be able to see it coming & make recommendations when he does get a chance to see you.

If you want to approach your friends for advice on eating out & ask for examples/suggestions then thats one thing. Its another for someone to come up out of the blue & say "Sweetie, you know you're my best friend. I'll love you always. But I think you eat too much of the wrong kinds of food & are obese."

I think that qualified professionals should be doling out medical advice instead of friends, at least until the obese friend opens the door for discussion. And as for the similarity to smoking, I think the line is drawn at the medical dangers. Smoking isn't an attack at how you perceive yourself.

squirrely girl · #8 07-18-2006, 03:00 PM

i tend to feel that supporting a healthy lifestyle and changes like that are better than just calling a person obese (hello its not like the don't ALREADY know) - however, i also believe that if you really are only seeing your doc once a year it is a lot easier to avoid/fool/lie to them than it is to do to your friends.

my mom is diabetic and puts on a damn show for her doc every couple of months and tries to bs people into believing that she is completely in control of her health when in all honesty she eats irregularly, when she does eat it is poorly, forgets to take her meds and doesn't freaking exersize - i think that she truly believes what she is telling to the doc and others and is in a complete state of denial regarding her diabetes - i call her on it regularly but it doesn't seem to make a difference so who knows?

- m

f8nacn · #9 07-18-2006, 03:44 PM

If you say that you are my friend and if I am another persons "friend" then blatant honesty would have to work for me. In my circles, weight issues (gain or loss) isn't something that is swept underneath the carpet. We talk about it. We talk about it whether the other likes it or not. We help each other "do" something about it. It's one thing to just say, "hey you are getting fat" and not suggest or attempt to implement change. If you say that you are a friend and if I say that I am a friend, then helping in this area would be just as important as discussing something else.

Drolefille · #10 07-18-2006, 03:50 PM

I agree, I think at some point you have to say something whether it's.. I'm really concerned about your smoking habit, you used to smoke X number of times a month and you're up to a pack a day...

or

Hun, I'm really concerned about your weight, is there something going on?

Heck, the biggest help would be being workout buddies IMO

f8nacn · #11 07-18-2006, 04:21 PM

Exercise and a healthy eating plan...its a great source of accountability knowing that someone is in it with you (even if their goals are different).

Still BLUTANG · #12 07-18-2006, 04:29 PM

you could have a scrapbooking party or some other kind of "remember back when ________" event. Sometimes the person who has gained a lot of weight might not really realize it until they SEE it. Gradual weight gain is a monster... just 7 pounds a year betweeen high school and college graduation will be the difference between being "thick" and "damn what happened"

I would advise people who are concerned about their friends weight to do things with them like taking a walk, going swimming, playing tennis, etc. A lot of communities have health fairs and free screenings so go TOGETHER and check that stuff out too... maybe it will serve as a wake up call.

Even small things like finding something to do BESIDES going out to eat will make a difference.

I personally wouldn't talk about the weight, but rather invite them to be more active. They'll get the hint.

Drolefille · #13 07-18-2006, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AXiD670

I expect to hear it from my doctor, but I definitely would want to hear it from my friends.

"Donna, you're starting to look like your mother."

Lol

And then as a friend, be willing to do things like be workout buddies, plan meals together (so you can both eat healthy) and provide general support!

PM_Mama00 · #14 07-18-2006, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I don't agree that it's socially responsible and acceptable to tell someone to quit smoking. Telling your friends what to do is never a good idea, period.

If I were obsese, I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to be able to figure that out on my own without any friends telling me.

Agreed. The only time I really tell my friends what to do is when they are endangering their lives or someone else's life... for example drunk driving, etc.

f8nacn · #15 07-18-2006, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

Agreed. The only time I really tell my friends what to do is when they are endangering their lives or someone else's life... for example drunk driving, etc.

Are you truly a friend then????