Getting past the partying -- advice?

dahlia_gc · #1 08-08-2006, 09:40 PM

Hi. I have a sort of strange problem. I live in my sorority's house, and I'm starting my junior year. The girls I live with are big partyers. The whole greek culture here is the same. I don't want to party, but I feel a lot of pressure to from the girls I live with. Some of them are really nice about it and supportive, and some of them are just straight bitches. It's strange because I've always enjoyed a lot of friendship with everyone in this chapter and now some of them have completely ditched me, which really surprised me and (to be honest) hurt my feelings. I've been dating a great guy for the last 10 months and that started around the time that I started to slow down on the partying. However I think some of the girls think I've ditched them for him, which is not the reason I'm no longer getting drunk with them every Tuesday night by any means. He's just one of the only people I know now who is willing to go to the library with me, or even do anything that doesn't involve getting drunk. Not sure why it would come as a surprise to them, because although I used to go out with them a lot I wasn't a huge drinker and certainly never fell into the promiscuity that seems to be common here.

I just feel a little left out and I'm not sure how to handle their catty remarks and behavior. Has anyone had similar experience or has advice?

preciousjeni · #2 08-08-2006, 09:46 PM

I don't know why but this post doesn't sit well with me. Anyway, the answer is...do you. Don't worry about what they're doing.

KSUViolet06 · #3 08-08-2006, 10:01 PM

Agreed. Ignore them, and do what you want.

_Opi_ · #4 08-08-2006, 10:03 PM

Have you tried talking to your sisters? You have to tell them that you need to focus on school now that you are a junior and they have to respect your decision. If they don't understand and still act immature, then find yourself the library, and go there to study.

dahlia_gc · #5 08-08-2006, 10:08 PM

Thanks.

I think it has just been tough to find that some people were only friends with me when I was going out to party with them, and I was probably a little naive.

Sorry if my post seemed awkward, I was just trying to avoid saying anything that would make it less anonymous.

33girl · #6 08-09-2006, 09:34 AM

When you say things like "the promiscuity that is common here" that leads me to believe that even if you aren't saying anything straight out, you're being judgemental of your sisters. No one likes to be judged. Especially if the person judging was right beside you doing whatever a couple months earlier.

If you've changed your habits and such at the same time you met a guy - no matter how much you say up and down it's a coincidence, it's not going to look that way. It's going to look like "dahlia used to be fun, now since she met this guy she never wants to hang out with us." Again, put yourself in their position. When a friend dumps you (or seems to dump you) for a guy, it sucks.

Have you made an effort to bring your boyfriend around the sorority house and meet your sisters? What's his whole attitude toward your sorority membership?