new PNM has some questions

[nolegirl88]

I'm new to this forum and I was wondering if anyone could help me out on some questions? Thanks!

First off, on the recruitment registration form, one of the questions is about my GPA. Well, I was wondering whether I should put my HS weighted or unweighted GPA. My unweighted is barely below a 3.0 (2.98) and my weighted is around a 3.8 I think. I'm worried, though, that if I put my weighted and it's checked against the school's system, the sororities won't see my weighted GPA and think I'm lying--and I don't want that to happen!

My second question is a bit more difficult. My boyfriend is worried that if I join a sorority, they'll force me to choose between him and the sorority. I started dating him my senior year of high school, while he was a freshman at college. He was a pledge of a fraternity, and they would harass him about the fact that I'm not greek and that I was in high school, and some brothers would IM me with lies trying to get me to break up with him. He de-pledged not only for this reason, but others.. He doesn't want the same to happen if I join a sorority. He is transferring to FSU this year (not because of me, but because his previous school didn't have a law school), and is not going to be participating in any greek life. I doubt sororities would do this, but I want to know what you guys think about this--is it true?

Thank you for any help you're able to offer!

[Drolefille]

Unsure about the GPA question, I only listed my weighted, my high school didn't keep track of them seperately. You could maybe list both?

I've never heard of that happening in a sorority. Even on a heavily Greek campus, plenty of girls date non-Greek guys. You will have another time commitment, but I don't see anyone trying to pull you two apart. Boys, as thats what they acted like, are dumb sometimes and flaunting it when doing that to you and your boyfriend.

[purplewindex]

I can't vouch for the gpa question, but I do know about your other question. My boyfriend and I began dating my junior year of high school, and I pledged my sophomore year of college. He was worried that I would change or that the sorority would come in between our relationship based on the stigma of a sorority girl. He didn't know much about greek life except for what has been projected in movies about the community. Of course, I can only speak for my relationship, but things have worked out with my boyfriend and I, as well as my sorority. He accepts it and felt a lot more comfortable about me being part of a house once he met the girls.

In my opinion, sororities are a lot different with relationships than fraternities. In some houses, the guys will push for a guy to break up with his girlfriend for whatever reason. I'm not basing this on all fraternities, but it does happen, as I'm sure it can with some sororities. But if your future sorority makes you choose between them and your boyfriend, it's probably not the right house for you.

[UCFalumna]

If you're unsure about which GPA to list on your application, consider listing both with a note weighted/unweighted. When I was in school, our Greek Life office would correct the applications based on the GPA from a woman's transcript. The chapters were able to see the GPA the PNM listed as well as her actual university acknowledged GPA. This way, if your GPA is corrected to the unweighted number, the chapter will be able to see why you listed the other. Otherwise, it might look like you pulled some random number out of thin air and decided it was going to be your GPA. I also wouldn't stress too much about it because (at least at my school) there were a very large number of applications that went out to the chapters with corrected GPA's.

[ragtimerose]

I would list both GPAs with a brief explanation of weighted vs. unweighted. As for the boyfriend issue, any sorority which would make you choose between them and him probably isn't the right house for you. A good sorority should be able to give you pointers on time management. And, through time, relationships do change. You'll be doing a lot of self-examination during the recruitment process. Chances are that many of the sisters will have boyfriends, too...and they manage to fit in relationships with sorority.

Remember when you go through recruitment, to keep an open mind and allow yourself to experience all the possibilities. Keeping a journal can be very helpful and therapeutic as you go through your self-examination.

Relax, have a good time and let us know how your recruitment experience goes.

[adpiucf]

Put your weighted GPA and indicate that is weighted. Panhellenic will verify and may provide both to the chapter. Get alumnae recommendations and ask that alumnae mention in their letter or comments section of a recommendation form "and her weighted GPA from honors and AP coursework is a 3.8 cum!"

Sororities don't make people break up with their boyfriends. There is no rule that says you have to be attached or single. The same is true of fraternities. This doesn't stop sadistic individuals from doing their own thing because they want to tease you or they're jealous. If you do join a sorority and if at any time another member makes you uncomfortable, you have the right to tell them to their face to stop it, and you can even bring them before a board of officers for unsisterly conduct.

Sometimes boys get jealous. If your bf says "It's me or the sorority," then that choice is up to you entirely. No one can make the decison for you. Sororities should not and do not make such ultimatums, and neither should boyfriends.

I hope this has helped and I wish you all the best at FSU!

[AXObuckeye]

Not sure about GPA question either, but I second everything purplewindex said. My bf was apprehensive as well about the sorority thing and didn't know much about it either. Just reassure him that you will make time for him, and then follow through on that. Again, if your sisters don't respect your relationship, that's not the house for you. My sisters are so sweet. Especially when I clued them in about the situation, they made an extra effort to make him feel comfortable. That's what sisters do. Good luck during rush! I hope you find your home

[nolegirl88]

Thanks everybody!! That's really comforting to know, and I'm sure my boyfriend will appreciate this information too .

And about the GPA thing..on the form, it won't let me type more than 4 characters..and only numbers, so there's no way for me to specify if my GPA is weighted or not.

[adpiucf]

Don't stress-- You can call the office of Greek Life at FSU. I'm sure they can give you the best answer about GPA.

[texgal]

To indicated 3.8 weighted - easy: 3.8W The girls should understand that it means weighted, and it's better to put your weighted GPA over your unweighted. It shows that you took honors/AP classes and you obviously have a higher GPA that way.

[PenguinTrax]

I'd list unweighted - that's more common at FSU.

Regarding the boyfriend - no, you won't have to choose, but it sounds like he does have some issues. Make sure he doesn't make you choose - especially if sorority life is something you enjoy. Also, do NOT discuss the issue during recruitment.

Another thing with FSU is make sure you get recs if at all possible.

Good luck!

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by ariesrising

Sorry to crash, but what is weighted vs unweighted GPA? I've never heard of it before.

At my high school, if you were in the regular classes, the scale was:
93-100 = A = 4.0
85-92 = B = 3.0
78-85 = C = 2.0
70-77 = D = 1.0
Below 70 = F = 0.0

For high classes:
93-100 = A = 5.0
85-92 = B = 4.0
78-85 = C = 3.0
70-77 = D = 2.0
Below 70 = F = 0.0

For honors classes (there weren't very many of them):
93-100 = A = 6.0
85-92 = B = 5.0
78-85 = C = 4.0
70-77 = D = 3.0
Below 70 = F = 0.0

There were remedial classes too:
90-100 = A = 4.0
80-89 = B = 3.0
70-79 = C = 2.0
60-69 = D = 1.0

Some classes were only available at the regular level: religion, music, civics, foreign language, P.E., etc.
All of the core academic classes were divided by ability: math, science, English, literature, writing, history, etc.
A few random classes were avaible as honors: physics, AP biology, advanced calculus, etc.

So, everybody had at least some regular classes included in their GPAs, but only some students got the weighted grades in addition.

[tcsparky]

Ariesrising, using Irishpipes' explanation, "weighted" GPA uses the weighted values (5 or 6 for an A) when calculating GPA, and "unweighted" GPA means all A's are worth 4 pts, regardless of the type of class. All B's, C's, D's etc....would be worth the lesser value, and the two GPAs would be quite different. Some colleges will list your unweighted high school GPA on your college transcript, sometimes saying it is a way of making it "fair" for everyone, but those who take the heavy classes know that those extra quality points are earned.

If a PNM lists the weighted GPA for Recruitment, and the college doens't recognize that, then the "corrected", or unweighted GPA will be written in.

[ADPi Conniebama]

Ok about the GPA thing - if you are an incoming freshman then you should put your graduating "weighted" gpa.

I think this because at the university that I advise, the incoming freshman do this, and then the panhellenic advisor checks the "unweighted" and puts them both the "weighted" as HS gpa and the "unweighted" as the college gpa - we know the difference because and incoming freshman will have 0 completed college credits.

An upper classman will have 20 or more completed college credits and then their college gpa would be just that.

I assume that sororities will put more "weight" on the "weighted" hsgpa because that . . . well personally it shows me that the pnm in question, did what it took to keep her gpa up; whether or not she made a C in 9th grade algebra I and then took typing to bring up her average is proof.

BUT THAT IS JUST MY OPINION

oh and about the boy stuff - don't forget about mixers - "independant" boyfriends usually don't understand about mixers (swaps whatever) I have seen it work and I have seen it not work. So, just have fun and do what you want.

edited cause I got weighted and unweighted mixed up.

[Buttonz]

My ex was, and still is, very anti-greek after a few bad expriences while he was rushing.

When we got together, he was aware of how committed I was and how much time and effort I put into SDT, and he never had a problem iwth it, instead, encoraged it. He was the type of guy that would never have made me choose, because he saw how happy he made me....and then through the bad times he was there for me when I needed it.

As long as your guy undertsands that this is something that you want to do, and it makes you happy, he should understand.