Wedding Question

PhiMuLady150 · #1 07-15-2006, 09:44 AM

Hey,

So I am a House Party member for friend of mine's wedding in the Fall. There are 2-3 other girls who share this role with me. I e-mailed to ask some questions and she said she was going over with her planner soon about our roles and that she would get back to me. She also told I would be invited to the rehearshal dinner, etc, and that they had a block of rooms if I needed a hotel and maybe share with the other girls in the wedding. However, I have talked with another house party member about sharing and she was told her accomidations would be "taken care off." I have to admit I'm a little irked and I am not sure how to approach this with the bride. I went ahead and asked how much the hotel cost and am waiting for the answer. I don't understand why I was told one thing and the other girl was told another.

PM_Mama00 · #2 07-15-2006, 09:59 AM

What's a House Party member? I've never heard that term before.

FSUZeta · #3 07-15-2006, 10:07 AM

perhaps the bride just made a mistake and meant to tell you that the room was taken care of? since she did not swear to secrecy the other girl, that is what i would guess. i would wait to see if the bride gets back with you on the cost of the room.

PhiMuLady150 · #4 07-15-2006, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

What's a House Party member? I've never heard that term before.

PM_Mama00,

Supposedly it's a long standing tradition of a group of people who help the bride "hostess" at the wedding but aren't invited to be part of the mainstream wedding party. This is the 2nd wedding I've been a house party member. The last wedding where I was this role, I lit the candles in the sanctuary prior to the wedding ceremony. They assigned special tasks that aren't delegated to the bridesmaids or groomsmen.

PhiMuLady150 · #5 07-15-2006, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

perhaps the bride just made a mistake and meant to tell you that the room was taken care of? since she did not swear to secrecy the other girl, that is what i would guess. i would wait to see if the bride gets back with you on the cost of the room.

FSUZeta,

Thanks. I'll keep everyone updated when I hear from her.

Tom Earp · #6 07-15-2006, 03:12 PM

People should not get married. Just live in sin. It is a lot cheaper and easier!

God dang, Marriages can be so tramatic for both paties, not counting $$$$!

DSTRen13 · #7 07-15-2006, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

People should not get married. Just live in sin. It is a lot cheaper and easier!

God dang, Marriages can be so tramatic for both paties, not counting $$$$!

Just about every member of my family has repeatedly told me and my fiance to elope ... preferably as soon as possible, so no one has to worry about it anymore. Such a sentimental bunch

Tom Earp · #8 07-15-2006, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

Just about every member of my family has repeatedly told me and my fiance to elope ... preferably as soon as possible, so no one has to worry about it anymore. Such a sentimental bunch

Truth is stranger than fact!

MaryAmanda · #9 07-16-2006, 11:28 AM

My mother has always told me I should elope...not only because my family's big (9 uncles, 6 aunts, and 21 first cousins), but also because she doesn't want to pay for it.

Also, when my sister and I were little, my mom promised us $1000 each if we waited until we were 30 to get married.

As for not derailing this topic, PhiMuLady, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. Planning a wedding is a huge hassle I'm sure, and she probably just forgot to let you in on that tidbit.

Best of luck with that!

adpiucf · #10 07-16-2006, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhiMuLady150

Hey,
She also told I would be invited to the rehearshal dinner, etc, and that they had a block of rooms if I needed a hotel and maybe share with the other girls in the wedding. However, I have talked with another house party member about sharing and she was told her accomidations would be "taken care off." I have to admit I'm a little irked and I am not sure how to approach this with the bride. I went ahead and asked how much the hotel cost and am waiting for the answer. I don't understand why I was told one thing and the other girl was told another.

Here's an idea. Call the bride. She's insanely busy and stressed out. Too many people use email as a crutch. You're also going by hearsay. Maybe accomodations would be "taken care of" means that a block of rooms has been reserved. Call people and be proactive.

I hardly doubt the bride is paying for some people's rooms and leaving other attendants on their own. And if she is, that's incredibly stupid.

xo_kathy · #11 07-17-2006, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

I hardly doubt the bride is paying for some people's rooms and leaving other attendants on their own. And if she is, that's incredibly stupid.

I don't think it's "incredibly stupid" to pay for some and not others. I did this. Each bride needs to make their own decision about things. I knew the financial situation of my various attendants. One had the means to pay it all when I asked, then some things came up. Instead of making her step down b/c she couldn't afford everything, I helped her out with her dress and offered her the spare bed at my apartment (parents were in our room, we were at a hotel). I could have offered it to any of my attendants, but I knew she couldn't afford the hotel so she got the offer.

Now, if she is paying for everyone except PhiMuLady, that's one thing, but if she's helping out an attendant or two, that's really no one's business but the bride.

jadis96 · #12 07-18-2006, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xo_kathy

I don't think it's "incredibly stupid" to pay for some and not others. I did this. Each bride needs to make their own decision about things. I knew the financial situation of my various attendants. One had the means to pay it all when I asked, then some things came up. Instead of making her step down b/c she couldn't afford everything, I helped her out with her dress and offered her the spare bed at my apartment (parents were in our room, we were at a hotel). I could have offered it to any of my attendants, but I knew she couldn't afford the hotel so she got the offer.

Now, if she is paying for everyone except PhiMuLady, that's one thing, but if she's helping out an attendant or two, that's really no one's business but the bride.

My college roomate was in this position. There were 5 bridesmaids and we all worked full time and could afford to be in the wedding. Two months before the wedding the maid of honor told the bride she had to drop out along with her daughter (1 of the 2 flower girls) because of money issues, the bride helped her out by making arraignments for her to stay with friends in town and also to pay for her shoes and help with the cost of the dresses. All of us understood because the bride was upfront about helping out a friend.

When my brother got married my dad and mom paid for all the groomsmen's/ best mans tuxes because they were just out of college and my parent had known them for years and wanted to help them out. But they did not know the bridesmaids so they didn't make them this offer.