Have your thoughts changed?

AKA2D '91 · #1 09-26-2001, 07:25 PM

I was reading in the newspaper today that many are changing their ideology about the idea of getting married, about their relationships (in every sense of the word) due to the September 11 attack.

On one of the news shows, it reported that a couple that had been living together for 2 years or so decided to "up" and get married right after the attack.

Has the recent developments changed your mind about your relationship with your "SO"? For those of you with "SOs", have you noticed a change in his or her demeanor in the last couple of weeks? Have you all gotten closer? Has your relationship been affected at all?

DreamfulOne · #2 09-26-2001, 07:34 PM

I've been thinking seriously of getting back w/ my ex-boyfriend prior to the attack in NYC & DC. There hasn't been any change in attitudes. I missed and loved him before and I miss and love him now. Maybe this is different for me...however, i know if we were to get back together and if he were to eventually propose...i will definitely say yes.

On another note, I was reading somewhere about all the military couples getting married as soon as possible as well...

AKAtude · #3 09-26-2001, 09:18 PM

I think whenever a tragedy personally affects someone, they tend to look at life differently if they have taken time for granted. Sometimes we don't always mean to, but we get so caught up in our routines, schedules, etc. There was really no change in me or my husband, because we pray together everyday, count our blessings everyday, and say "I love you" everyday.

ClassyLady · #4 09-27-2001, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKAtude
I think whenever a tragedy personally affects someone, they tend to look at life differently if they have taken time for granted. Sometimes we don't always mean to, but we get so caught up in our routines, schedules, etc. There was really no change in me or my husband, because we pray together everyday, count our blessings everyday, and say "I love you" everyday.

Me and my boyfriend have a similar relationship. The September 11 attacks have not really had a drastic effect on our relationship. But, sometimes, it takes something like this to put everything in perspective for people.

We decided after we first fell in love, that we would never leave each other without saying 'I love you.' We never know which goodbye will be our last. So, even if we are fuming mad at each other, we say it just so that the other person still knows. Normally, saying it will end the argument.

pointNclick · #5 09-27-2001, 11:42 AM

however, the recent events have made me value his love and companionship even more than I already did. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, so all I can do is love him until the time comes that I can not love him anymore.

The same goes true for all my relationships with other people.

Poplife · #6 09-27-2001, 09:37 PM

Well, I had an adverse reaction to the whole tragedy. I find myself questioning if I even want to bother getting close to someone again. The thought that they could be blown away at any minute doesn't make me want to go out make my relationship more meaningful and/or permanent.

I guess the fact that I am currently living right outside of Washington D.C. and the majority of my mates have lived or worked there doesn't help. My cousin and father do as well.

Different feelings for different people I guess.

loviest95 · #7 10-01-2001, 01:40 PM

Things have changed some for me and my hubby
We are expecting our 1st child in March and we were just kinda going along with our lives

But on the 11th I started wondering what type of life my child will have-- I guess I am really worried that he/she will not be able to have the happy secure carefree childhood that I had...

My husband keeps telling me that he is NOT worried..

Everything is in God's hands

JJSP01 · #8 10-02-2001, 02:53 PM

Since the tragedy I have to admit that I've definetly re-evaluated my relationship with God. I was slacking (considerably) on going to church and fellowshipping with other Christians, reading my Bible, and even praying...and I mean really praying. So, I'm glad that I've become more sincere in my desire to get closer to God.

lil_sunshine · #9 10-11-2001, 01:34 PM

I have a boyfriend, but he and I aren't serious. Maybe because I know that he's not a permanent fixture in my life or my heart, and I know that I want to be with my best friend in Philly. The day of the tragedy, my best friend emailed me to see if I was okay. I'm happier now that I have his phone number so that I could call him. I don't call him that often, but I try to call often enough so that I don't become a pain in the butt. My relationship with my boy- friend is cool, but I don't think we have anything in common and it's just a matter of convenience for the both of us. I'm not going to break up with him until I visit my best friend and see how everything works itself out.

jali0004 · #10 10-11-2001, 02:26 PM

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now, and we finally moved in together this past September. He is from DC, and I am from Chicago.

When the attacks happened in New York and DC, we were terrified. His father works in DC on a military base. As a matter of fact, he had an appointment at the Pentagon the very next day. We couldn't call into DC, because the phone lines were busy, and we didn't know where in DC his father was: the State bldg, the Pentagon, his office on the Military base--we didn't know. It was so scary for us. About three hours later we reached his father, and found out he was safe.

But then we focused our attention on the laregr picture. We were so set in our ways; going to college, working, apying the bills--we had put off many things. I don't want to die, and wish I had done so many things. Before, I said I didn't want him to propose till he had the perfect ring. I wanted the perfect wedding. But now, especially now, I feel that I am waiting for something that won't ever happen. What happens when I do get the "perfect ring"? I'm sure I'll find something else to wait for. That's why....*smile* we are pondering the idea of getting married in Vegas when we go in November. The ceremony will be for us..and then later we could do the whole wedding/reception- dress-catering thing.

I just don't want to put off years of my life, our life, our married life, waiting for something, and then it's over.

And that's my speil

lil_sunshine · #11 10-11-2001, 04:14 PM

As far as marriage is concerned, I always felt that it's a sacred institution that should be entered into with a lot of caution and thought. I also believe that many people who are getting married nowadays are putting entirely toooo much focus on the WEDDING and NOT how they plan to spend the rest of their lives together, how many children they'd like to have, etc. Notice how many celebrity marriages haven't lasted and focus mainly on how big their weddings were, including the extravagance of it.

Now about the perfect ring....

The only ring that I would consider PERFECT would be one that fits my finger, and that my fiance picks out that says how he feels deep down in his heart!!! What do you think?

lil_sunshine · #12 06-19-2006, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lil_sunshine

I have a boyfriend, but he and I aren't serious. Maybe because I know that he's not a permanent fixture in my life or my heart, and I know that I want to be with my best friend in Philly. The day of the tragedy, my best friend emailed me to see if I was okay. I'm happier now that I have his phone number so that I could call him. I don't call him that often, but I try to call often enough so that I don't become a pain in the butt. My relationship with my boy- friend is cool, but I don't think we have anything in common and it's just a matter of convenience for the both of us. I'm not going to break up with him until I visit my best friend and see how everything works itself out.

I can't believe that I posted this almost five years ago! Also, the two males mentioned I no longer keep in touch with for different reasons.

My current bf (1225) and I have been together for almost two years and I'm enjoying our relationship. We're kinda like Bobby and Whitney, but without the drugs and dysfunction.